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Friday, December 31, 2004
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The Way of the Future
I've probably listened to "Billie's Bounce" 1,000 times this week, and I don't think I'll ever be able to listen to it again when I'm done with my assignment. I should not be trusted to transcribe any music whatsoever.
I believe a short review of The Aviator is in order. This is a great film, especially if you like long character pieces. It is three hours but is worth every bit of the time. Directed by Martin Scorsese, the film moves smoothly with top notch actors such as Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Blanchett. DiCaprio plays Howard Hughes, a young aviator and film director with OCD, while Blanchett gives a very good performance as actress Katherine Hepburn. Even the film's colour scheme is an attention holder. Moving from blue and brown to green to green and red, it leaves the veiwer with a bit of an artistic feeling. If you've got a good chunk of time, I suggest The Aviator as a filler.
Here's to the end of 2004 and the beginning of 2005. May the year be filled with wackiness, convogination, and a little bit o' luck. Happy New Year!
seashell
Thursday, December 30, 2004
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From the minds that brought you Convoginators...
Lest I be banned from Posting!
Yes, it has been a bit since I have graced the blog. I have had an exciting and family filled Christmas. The family has a new addition, an 8 week old Bichon Frise. Thats a dog... It is rather cute and all, but I just got all of my children "potty trained," I wasn't in the mood to start with a new one. Oh well, that Santa Claus I tell ya he is a fickle monkey.
New Years Extravaganza?!?! I'm not sure, I have obligations that I cannot seem to adjust to benefit the necessary convogination configuration of New Year libation. I have family in from Ireland. My dog ate my calendar. The family cow is stuck in the mire and about to give birth to a fine calf! OK...I have been instructed that I will be spending the evening with my family (my sister is in from New Mexico) and I am also VERY afraid of my mother! I know that many of you will now curse the name Manteca. I shall have to deal with the rejection by my peers and the hateful posts that will probably ensue...but I can handle that. Its the mean phone calls and the newspaper ads that always hurt the most.
All of that aside, HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
manteca
 Power tools and the male ego...
I used to wonder why women found jewelry to be of any particular fascination at all. Sure, it looks nice when it adorns them, but why on earth would shiny things draw such huge crowds of women to gawk at them. I used to wonder... but then I saw a similar trait in the average male. Power tools.
So help me, I like power tools. I will often take a wrong turn in Wal-mart just so I can cut through the power tools isle. The older I get, the more I linger contemplating what I could do with my very own cordless drill, miter saw, or power sander. In all seriousness, although I could do a great deal, I would more than likely do little more than the average guy would do. My tools would be relegated to neatly occupying their appropriate places in the garage or store room, and I would pull them out only rarely to perform tasks that could much easier be done with a screwdriver, a leatherman knife, or my 1891/30 Russian Mosin Nagant rifle bayonet. Regardless, I'd have them.
I received a power sander for Christmas courtesy of my parental units, and I almost immediately set about to refinish the top of my chest of drawers so I could do away with the stain that my father left behind when he spilled some kind of gun cleaning solvent on it. Wow... that's quite a sentence... a lot of modifiers. Ok, I'll stop now. In summary, Power Tools are awesome.
Allow me to laud fellow posters Matthew and Seashell for keeping this place afloat during the season when I, and several others are reduced to dial up internet access only. Huttah to you both. Manteca... New Year's Extravaganza? We could go back to the prison and ask if they'd give us the Oz tour? That's all I got.
Jeff C.
P.S. mmmmm... apple pie.
Greetings From Ireland
Yeah right! I can dream though, right? Right? Right!!! County Galway would be just great...
I believe I have decided the names of my future children: Owen Rolf, Liam Olaf, and Carmen Beatrice. And if I never have the curse, er... blessing of children, I will have some very well named dogs, be they cocker spaniels, beagles, Georgia blood hounds, or some flavour of terrier. Those names have just got to be used somewhere. Perhaps we can name the cow "Liam." I think we could all use an Irish cow. Ooooooh and then we could cover him in four-leaf clovers like the one outside Kitty O'Sheas.
After watching a television program about funny commercials, I have decided that Europeans are funnier than Americans. Now, because of Monty Phython we all knew that the British are a silly lot, but I can now testify that even the German and French contribute to the world's hilarity. And let's not forget the Irish. They make the English language "do tricks the British never intended," what with their charming wit and all. Sometimes I do tire of the ol' USA, but where would we be without apple pie? That's why they invented traveling. Now if I could just find a good pilot...
Oiche mhaith,
seashell
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
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Too Much Funny Business
I thought that we needed some more politics on Convoginators. IT has been a while since we threw out some facts and stuff for our meandering surfers out there. Heck! I just want to be quoted again.
AIDS is a highly charged issue these days. If you say the wrong thing about AIDS or HIV then you could be labeled as a hatemonger or homopohobe. Well, I don't much care. AIDS affects mostly gay males. It is a fact. I have been looking at the CDC (Center for Disease Control).
In 1980 the first case of AIDS was diagnosed in North America. He was an Air Canada flight attendant named Gaetan Dugas. Dugas was a notoriously promiscuous homosexual who reputedly had sex with as many as 250 partners a year in gay "bathhouses." 250! That is a problem I am sure. By the end of that year, there were 31 deaths in the United States, confined within the homosexual community.
It definitely is true that HIV and AIDS has spread to both heterosexual and homosexuals. Currently, it is estimated that almost 1 million Americans are now infected with the HIV virus that causes AIDS. About 1 in 300. And women account for almost half of all HIV victims.
According to the Centers for Disease Control, the majority of the rest of the victims were gay or bisexual men. The CDC report also noted that women are less than half as likely to transmit the disease to men.
The CDC in Atlanta recently released the latest AIDS figures in a report released in connection with World AIDS Day. According to the CDC, new AIDS and HIV cases in 32 states studied rose by 11 percent between 2000 and 2003. Of the 125,800 new victims examined in the CDC study, 44 percent of them were gay or bisexual men. Homosexual men make up less then 1/20th of a percent of Americans. I am pretty sure that we can say that AIDS is more of a gay thing.
I also learned another little fact about lobbies in Washington. Liberals will always talk about "Big Oil" and "Big Tobacco" lobbies, but the two largest lobbies in Washington are Abortion and Gay right lobbies. I don't know about you, but I am tire of "Big Abortion" and "Big Gay", or "Big Homos."
Homosexuals are so gay.
Narnia is Here
Narnia the Movie
Directed by the guy who directed Shrek. Looks like it will be big budget.
News Site
Movies are posted here.
They are starting with the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe first which is a little disconcerting, but they are going to do a movie for every book, so the the Magicians Nephew will be in there somewhere.
Exciting, I know, but there is one bad thing. It is being published by Disney. I really hope they keep all the Christian Overtones.
Monday, December 27, 2004
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Dia daoibh
Well, I certainly hope everyone had a convogination-filled Christmas. My Christmas left a lot to be desired, but Christmas Eve and the day before were quite enjoyable, so I suppose I simply had a bad December 25th. I too appreciate socks for Christmas, but it's hard to dislike socks with frogs and pigs on them, especially since they are now the warmest socks I own. I need all the warmth I can get right about now. I wonder if a certain someone has a fire going...
What's going down for New Year's, folks? We should all get together and eat whatever it is people eat for good fortune in the new year. I think it's something like some kind of peas and some kind of greens. Mmmmmm...mustard greens are yummy. Speaking of yummy, I'm going to be eating grilled cheese and ham sandwiches until January 12th, along with an assortment of other Christmas goodies, including a wonderful pecan-covered cheeseball and peanut butter covered in chocolate, in small doses of course.
A trout in the pot is better than a salmon in the sea.
seashell
P.S. I believe it's my turn to win a chess game.
Sunday, December 26, 2004
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Ho Ho Ho...
In an age of rampant political correctness, it is nice to see that Fox News was going out of their way to wish everyone a "Merry Christmas" instead of the ACLU approved "Happy Holidays."
And speaking of Christmas, I hope my fellow convoginators had a Christmas as merry as that of my own. This year I realized that Christmas gifts really don't change that much from year to year, the only thing that changes is how much you appreciate them. I have received socks for Christmas every year that I can remember. The older I get, the more excited I am to have new socks. At this rate, I will one day break down and cry out of sheer joy at the thought of unwrapping new foot covers.
Curiously, I have heard nothing of a convoginators-new years-huttah, and I must assume that my invitation has been lost in the mail... right? (Matthew told me to bug you about it)
Jeff C.
P.S. I think it's my turn to lose a chess game.
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
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 Sorry, I just couldn't resist...
(left to right) Rick Lazer and his compatriot Jum Muff
I need some Insta-Grat® for this
I am the 1st on my block to...
I am the FIRST on my block to own a Convoginator clock. This timepiece, handcrafted by the most talented craftsmen from Switzerland, has been a most wonderful addition to our computer room decor. The accuracy of this fine machine is beyond precise measurement. The only problem is resolution. You see, without numbers it's easy to be off an hour or two even with the computer accuracy built into the timepiece of one picoseconds in two Klingon phases.
May all of you have the most Joy-Filled Christmas ever !!
Phynerk
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
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Increasing Convigi-opularity
So I searched "convoginators" on google, and it came up with 60 hits, which i thought was pretty cool. Phynerk was even quoted on one of his blogs. Props to him. (Since he needs instant gratification and what not)
Anyway... I sell things for a living. Selling computers is alot easier than working on them/networking them. Although it may be easier, not as much hilarity ensues as when when working on them. For instance when you sell a computer, your not allowed to say that its a piece of crap, and then point out all the different ways that people can manage to screw them up. Which as the techs know, is basically our summer in a nutshell. Also when selling a $900 laser printer its not a good idea to drop it from a 5 foot cart, where as during the summer, the same happening lead to about 5 minutes of laughter, and jeff c. with a big scrape on his leg. man that was funny.
Im definitely going to miss that job. well not the job itself, but the vast amount of inside jokes that came with it. And now im going to leave everyone who is not a tech out of the loop and mention some of these jokes:
I Can fix it
Indeed
DAY
Week
Month
Summer
Job (Jeff and I only)
Laser Blasers II
Not It
"Excellent" (best when said by Jeff C)
Smile like a donut
"Jeeeeefffff" (Denita)
The Tech Van, and the 4 days we had it
The Tech Vans mirror
They TOOK my license and now i cant drive
I'm gonna stop there and let the rest of the tech crew add to it, b/c thinking them up is pretty fun.
Hard Rockin'
Sorry I haven't posted... Matthew and I were at a week long biker rally. Got some great pictures! We both like the stud look of the leather vest...and yes, I colored my hair for the rally!! 
You know...if you hit me in the head with a Large mallet, I turn into 20 gold coins...TRUE!
manteca
Sunday, December 19, 2004
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whoo hoo!! 2.6.....
I'm the proud owner of a 2.6 GPA. "Well that's low," you might say. Well I say you can kiss my arse. I passed chemistry with a C, but I got a D in calculus. I think I have to take it again to pass by Engineering standards, but I think I'd want to anyway to try to replace that D with a higher grade. But yeah, I'm happy, because it means I have a better chance of going back next year.
Sweet Home Chicago
I hate to bore our fans, but I believe a review of the last few days' events is in order. Being in Chicago was quite the experience, and I believe I shall go back one day.
The clinic was a very big-to-do event, with approximately 12,000 music educators, students, and other such persons. I, of course, went to mostly those things dealing with jazz. I knew that Jamey Aebersold talked funny, but I didn't realize that he himself was so funny. Much hilarity ensued during his Jazz Improv 101. And lucky me, I got to hear Phil Woods play with the DePaul University Jazz Ensemble, which was extremely good. I also heard Dale Underwood play with a community band from California. I went to a trombone class, which turned out to be one of the best things I went to, and one of the guys running it plays with the Rolling Stones. I didn't get to see the One O'clock , for we were out of town by that time. Perhaps I'll live. Now, for all intents and purposes, I am, as far as The Midwest Clinic is concerned, the Elementary School music teacher in Hope Arkansas. I suppose I should be watching for mail.
Besides the clinic, Chicago itself was quite interesting. From riding in taxi cabs and getting off the train at Union Station, to eating pizza and hearing folks play Christmas Carols for money on the streets, I felt like a true big city dweller. We even went to the Auditorium Theatre to see The Nutcracker, which blew me away and really made me wonder what I did to deserve being born in Southwest Arkansas. Even the food there is better, and the houses...I love 'em. Most of them are big but cozy, old, and have like three feet between them. I wouldn't mind living there for a while. The cold didn't really even bother me much. You just have to make sure and bundle up really well.
The highlight of the whole trip was, of course, Kitty O'Sheas. Moore and Broaders entertained like the Irishmen they are, and I ate my shepherds pie like I'd never eaten before. The only thing that would have made it better was if I'd got to stay all night and drink the pint. Because of time issues we didn't get to take an iPod picture with the Irish cow, but I'll be back, so not to worry.
Now that I'm back in the dullness of Arkansas, we need to get this Christmas Gala underway, otherwise boredom will infect my very being, but thank goodness today I'm booked. It's about time...
seashell
Friday, December 17, 2004
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My Mazzarati does 185, they took my license and now I can't drive...
Heheh... Good times. Well, it's once again tech time has rolled around for this wayward traveler. And guess what. I'm no longer the tech bitch. Oops, I can't say bitch anymore because Matt has decided we need to cut out the wurdy durds such as bitch. Sometimes Matt can be a little....... Heheh, I'm just joshing you. But yeah, can you imagine the existence of a curse-free tech Christmas let alone summer? Yeah I can't either.
But yeah, I'm not the tech 1*bob dole*2 anymore, for 4 new tech sallies. The first daunting task for them is installing the graphic-producing behemoths known as the Zenith televisions from the high school. The full tech crew will be on it, but hey, when you have four new kids, how much work are you really going to do?
I'm searching high and low for the scanner down in the tech department. Once I find it, I'll get back on those avatars. They seem to have been a big hit. Several members of our non-convoginator fan base have placed requests for one.
How now? Orange Cow?
I'm finished with undergraduate college. All I have left to do is don my black garb and sit in mass with fellow classmates adorned in the same fashion and listen to some old fogey drone on about life and something about Diez's Carp. I could personally care less about some Mexican's fish, but these guys seem to make a big huttah about it. Maybe it's just one of those things that will be explained to me "when I'm older." Speaking of being older, my birthday is in less than a month, and for some reason now I just can't bring myself to care anymore. I've surpassed almost all of the useful ages and now I'm just getting old. Makes me wonder what, if any hard feelings the old fogey's like Manteca and Phynerk harbor towards birthdays... oh, I forgot Matt... he's got to be getting on up there now. Ok, I"ll stop making fun of people, I'll be old soon enough.
Greetings, once again to our wayward Fire Lizard. I'm just a little disappointed in you, however. You were in the land of Cowboys, Sooners, and Tornadoes and you didn't even drop by SWO to visit. Tsk, tsk, tsk...
That's all I got. All my students have left for better food, and I'm stuck here twiddling my thumbs until tomorrow's graduation ceremony. I'm coming home Sunday... Paul, you'd better give me a call sometime over the break. There's been a shortage of wacky antics lately...
Jeff C.
Adult Stem Cell Information
If you are like me there's hardly a day that goes by that we don't hear something about "Adult Stem Cell" research. It's clear that these 'critters' are enabling doctors to do some pretty amazing things in health care never heard of before....but what in the world is an "Adult Stem Cell?. I did some research and found a fascinating site that had a photograph of an "Adult Stem Cell " that had been magnified 180,000 times under a strontium-graphide magnometer. The photo is attached below for your information.
Amazing, isn't it ??
Phynerk
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
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Why Did Mommy Kiss Santa Claus?
Some questions may never be answered, such as: Why do you see everyone you know in Wal-Mart when you look your worst? Why do the British have cooler cars? and other such questions.
I will be off to Chicago bright and early in the morning, so everyone pray that I don't freeze to death. If anyone's looking for a good movie to watch, I would suggest Ocean's Twelve. It's got a quality script, good actors, fascinating plot, good actors, nice lighting, good actors, a pleasing ending, good actors, exceptional directing, good actors, and...good actors. Anyway, go watch it and the fun will commence when I return.
Peace,
seashell
P.S. Anytime will do, and some convogination might be in order...
Almost there...
Only two exams and a paper seperate me from the joys of having my very own expensive piece of paper. Well, I guess a graduation ceremony is necessary as well, despite my arguments to the contrary. And seeing as how I can never attend an educational institution without working for them in some way, shape, or form, I have had the distinct honor bestowed upon me by the powers that be to teach AVED some number here Theory of Commercial Flight. That's right, I'm now a college professor, albeit only an adjunct one... but you've got to start somewhere... I just wish it wasn't here.
Short story even shorter, practically all of my students are homeward bound for the break, which is good for them, because so am I. (Manteca, you mentioned possibly needing some help with televisions?) If so, I know a guy who can get us a good deal on some slightly used televisions that have a history of educational use. Almost all of them work, but there are some minor cosmetic defects and certain numbers seem to have been scraped off.
Anyways, I'm now to offer my congratulations to Seashell for her overachieving GPA thanks entirely to her superior-performing intellect and obviously, reasonably well trained ears. (I still have trouble dechipering whether it's my phone ringing or my alarm clock) Anywhom, I must now, for the sake of graduation and thumbing my nose at this fine institution depart to work on my take-home final exam. Saturday is just around the corner.
Jeff C.
P.S. What time?
Makes an 'ole guy proud
I'm anxious to read Ms. Seashell's posts after she's a bit older with teenager(s) of her own. ( What do you say, Mr. Poo Bah ? ) . I think it's amazing what a little experience can do to one's outlook on life.
Hang in there Seashell ..... it gets worse.
P.S. Congradulations on the great GPA !!! Super !!!!
Phynerk
It's Mighty Cold
Well, I never thought I'd be so excited to get a B, but I gave thanks to the college gods when I discovered I am the proud owner of a 3.867 GPA. But for the record, I still hate ear training.
Speaking of college, I keep hearing a lot of younger kids going on about how they can't wait to get to college. If only they knew that college is really just a pain in the arse and that they're just out to get your money, maybe these kids would enjoy the time they have as kids. College is simply way too expensive. Even if they're giving you lots of money, it still costs a lot, especially when you have to spend all your time telling the yahoos in financial aid that they somehow lost your money and they all need to be fired, just like the people in advising who don't have the foggiest what to do, causing you to register when there aren't any decent classes open. And freedom...Ha! There is no time for freedom in college. You eat, go to class, sleep, pay to do your laundry, and do it all over again. If you want to keep your scholarship, there is no time for parties and fun and games. And working out? By the time you get a free hour or so, your dorm room is in such a state of nastiness that you can't even find your ID, so you're forced to stay in, lest you not be able to get back into the building. What do you do when you run out of toliet paper? Can't run to mommy and daddy, and a job...what job? You don't have time for a job, and if you wanted one on campus, it wouldn't matter; they give those to all the foriegn kids who should really be somewhere cool like New Orleans. You won't need a job anyway after getting food posioning in the cafeteria and missing all your classes for three days. Man, this is depressing...
On a happier note, it's almost Christmas! Blueberry cheesecake is in sight.
Enjoying my break,
seashell
P.S. I need someone to watch The Christmas Story with me Sunday night...
Friday, December 10, 2004
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Get yours TODAY !!!!
You spend hours pouring over the "perfect post". You press the 'post and publish button' in W-Blogger and see the familiar text that your post was transmitted successfully. Then you wait to see if someone will comment on your great wit, wisdom, ingenuity, and creativity. The trouble is many times nothing comes, or the wait becomes intolerable. Well, I've completed a new application that will end that quandary forever with Insta-Grat !. Yes, this software program will guarantee instant gratification to every serious blogger. The Insta-Grat search engine will parce your post for content and immediately begin to give you the accolades, strokes, and laughs you deserve. Too good to be true ? No ! And with this introductory offer you are going to be amazed at the price. So how much do you think such a lifesaver as Insta-Grat will cost ? $79.95 ? No way, you can do better than that. How about $49.95 ? Come on, friend get creative ! $29.95.You're still not close ! ONLY $649.95 plus $99.95 shipping and handling ! But if you want the ultimate in gratification, we will upgrade you to Insta-Grat Pro Ver. 1.1 for an even $998.74 with free shipping ($69.95 handling charge for all states that start with a capital letter) . Here are just a few of the features you can expect with Insta-Grat:
1) Select gratifying comments at posting time or in real time as you are actually composing the post.
2) Select either text gratification or audible.
3) In audible mode, select from hundreds of well known voices that will praise you, chuckle at your prose and basically suck up to every thing you've written.
4) The laughs you will receive will not be those cheap sounding laugh tracks from night time sitcoms, but honest-to-goodness belly laughs that were recorded and digitized from actual people reading posts by The Grand Poo Bah, Seashell, and eRIc.
5) Audible mode in Dolby 5.1 Pro-Logic Surround quadro-sonic sound quality.
Don't wait another moment waiting on the well deserved praise your blogs should receive. Have them NOW.
Phynerk
( Text-mode on::HaHaHaHaHa !!!That was very funny, especially the part about the states with the Capital letter…Ha Ha Ha, what a riot ! Chuckle, snort,…my, how did you think up that stuff ? You are so smart. It was the funniest thing I ever read. My, you're looking well today. Do you work out ? Is it me are do I see you have more hair today than last we met? )
Phynerk
Thursday, December 09, 2004
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Hello, Southwest Arkansas!
Congratulations! How? You did not have at all birthday? Power nix, but we! And therefore we give to one out... 10 euro for everyone come it to get itself!! With this left here you can fetch yourself your personal coupon:
Thanks, Phynerk. That assignment actually turned out to be a little easier than I thought it would be. I just used all of the available resources, and *poof* I was done. I am also now done with my first semester of college, and I sit at home waiting for my grades to magically appear on this wonderful web. I rolled into town at about 11:15, just barely beating the lunch traffic, and since I have been doing absolutely nothing productive, save unloading my truck, which was a feat in and of itself. Now that I'm back in town, the fun can begin. When's our Christmas Extravaganza????????
Off to the "worst place in the world,"
seashell
A little advice for the seashell
Yesterday I noticed you had some reservations about reading some German lyrics or such....well you've come to the right place. An old friend of mine always said:
Herzlichen Glueckwunsch!
Wie? Du hattest gar nicht Geburtstag? Macht nix, aber wir!
Und darum geben wir einen aus ... 10 Euro fuer jeden der kommt sie sich zu holen!!
Mit diesem Link hier kannst Du Dir Deinen persoenlichen Gutschein abholen:
Just thought I'd help.
Phynerk
It' a wonderful web
This is one time that will have to agree with Matthew that I love the internet. How could you not be crazy over a device with so many features. In fact, just today a nice man sent me an email that I didn't even ask for to tell me he could sell me Rolex watches at ridiculously low prices! I couldn't believe the perfect timing considering Christmas and all. I was able to get enough watches for everyone on our shopping list ! Won't Mrs. Phynerk be surprised ?
Phynerk
Wednesday, December 08, 2004
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The 3 Greatest Words!!
YES, the three greatest words of this holiday season. McRib Is Back!!
 I apologize for not having posted in a bit. I had one to many McRibs the other night and slipped into a small artificial pork and BBQ sauce coma. I am now OK and have limited myself to 2 McRibs a day. manteca
Thirty-seven dollars of free money to go...
(i am intentionally posting here this time)
okay so it's finals week. This means two things for me and the other students of the University of Arkansas: lots of tests of course (most of which are going to pummel me into the ground) and the end of a term for our meal plans.
A meal plan for most includes a certain number of meals per week and Flex Dollars which can be used for food items anywhere on campus. At the end of a semester, your meal plan is reset and your flex dollars start back at the original amount. This means that if you don't use all of them, you will not get them back in any way shape or form. So the common practice is to raid Club Red (the college convenience store). On the way back from a Chemistry review session today, I announced to my friends that I was buying food for whoever wanted it, for I still had $60. Another young man did the same for he had an equal amount. At the end of said shopping spree, I had spent $23 on mine and one other guy's purchases. That is a lot of food
One box Cheez-Its
32-piece box Nutter Butters
One can Chef Boyardee Beef Ravioli
Two 20-oz bottes Dr. Pepper
One bag barbeque-flavored Baked Lays
Two Ham and Cheese sandwiches from refrigerated section
One 2-lb bag Animal Crackers
and my friend got a lot too. I still have 37 dollars left. wish me luck.
heh
After watching the Big Lebowski again for the first time in a while, I still think its a super awesome movie, and i dont care what jeff thinks, because chelsea agreed with me yesterday that she liked it too... HA
oh, and Phynerk you would hate it, so dont rent it. plus its R
So I go to Phoenix
So I go to Phoenix for a computer class and ……sizzle sizzle crackle disconnecting……attention earth creature / i have interrupted the current transmission for several reasons / 1. it is monitored by millions / 2. it had no intellectual value / 3. my sphere needs information /// my designation is 2-2 / I am from the planet zark of the orian nebula / while purposely peering at the people on your planet through our portal periscope it was noticed that your sphere was in a heightened state of activity / i was sent to research the reasons for this activity / initial contact with your creatures revealed the reason for the excessive activity was 'the holidays' / further investigation revealed 'the holidays' were a time of joy and love / this joy and love was observed in the parking areas of many of the institutions called 'malls' /// the following list will include questions and answers of more reasons for the activity we have seen / the list was compiled by research of thousands of your newspapers - magazines - catalogs - and viewing hundreds of hours of the device you call tv /// this season is marked by giving / the giver is a creature by the name of santa / his presence nor dna could not detected anywhere on your sphere /// you illuminate the exterior of your dwellings to indicate the 'light of the world' which we have been told is brotherly love /// you place 'trees' inside your dwellings to indicate 'new life' / this 'new life' we are told is freedom of new choices /// you give gifts to one another to express the gift of life / life is the cosmic force that keeps your sphere and living matter going /// we fed all this data into our logicometer and out came a run time error of critical proportions /// the error is the reason for this transmission / we need an explanation / I now quote the error /?/ considering the great expenditure of energy - money - time and effort why do you call this period of time CHRISTMAS /?/ ……sizzle sizzle crackle reconnecting……so that's about all the complaining I'll do on that subject.
Phnerk
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
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Tis True
I will attest to everything Phynerk said...
Every year gets worse... she even starts adding her own renditions to the nativity scene. Last year we even had a Kiola Bear.
Don't tell anyone.....Please !
I have a confession to make. I know this a secure channel, but I still ask that everything I say be held in strict confidence. You see, my wife, Mrs. Phynerk, is a…….she's a…...well, there's no tactful way to say it - she's a Christ-ma-holic. Both my sons, Matthew and eRIc, will attest, what I say will be absolutely true and not exaggerated one bit. The demon in Mrs. Phynerk seems to rise its' head about March when she begins to hum Christmas carols around the house while she does her chores. This is when we all begin to get worried since we know DECORATING time is just around the corner. In fact, I spend most of November in the attic bringing down no less than 7.8 metric tons of assorted Christmas decorations. Not just any decorations, mind you, but we set up the actual manger from Bethlehem in our living room complete with camels, donkeys and smelly cattle. The only one missing from the display is the Lord Jesus since He's all grown up now and running the universe from Heaven....but that's another story, of course. Shortly after the 4th of July she loads up the 200 play CD player with all her favorite Christmas tunes and welds the power button down so no one can turn it off. By the time Christmas morning comes we have memorized every Christmas carol, song, and tune ever recorded. In fact, long after Christmas is past I still hear them in my sleep for months. The really sticky thing about Christmas for me now is that I don't have eRIc or Matthew around to help me not go completely insane,insane,insane,insane. I envy them in their apartments free from the tyranny of decorating , putting up lights, and hearing the endless droning of the CD player. I'm sure that by Christmas day I will wish Frosty had never been born and that all reindeer were endangered species.
I know there are several single young men out there reading this and I hope after what you've read you will be very careful in selecting your mate for life. You also may pick a women possessed by the Spirit of Christmas.
P.S. Can any of you put up a few wise men for a few nights?
'Tis the season to be Jolly, yea, right ……..HELP !!!!!!!!
Phy-la-la-la-la…la-la-la-nerk
Monday, December 06, 2004
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Christmas Time is Here
One final down, four to go. I stumbled through my jury at 2:45 today, and even though it could have been better, I must say that it could've been much worse. I think I can live with it. I thought that after my piano final tomorrow I could just kind of coast throught the rest of the week, but I totally forgot that I have to revise a paper for Honors and, the worst part, I have to do a melodic dictation assignment for ear training in the library. It's gonna be crazy hard. It's vocal, which we've never done before, plus it's in German. Now, I do like the German language, but this is simply not cool. I see a group project in the near future...trouble is, I don't know anybody's number. I have no friends...'cept yous guys, and farsheshe, and Erica...
Looks like Josh is kinda falling behind on the avatars. And Manteca is not keeping us up-to-date. When are we gonna get together for the Christmas shindig and the making of the album? I'm really ready to play just for fun. I miss those days when I wasn't graded for how well I played...Anyway, you know, I like to sing too...I'm just rambling now. It is finals week after all.
I've been listening to a lot of Christmas music lately, and I just remembered that the Charlie Brown Christmas thingy is coming on Tuesday night at 7:00. Study Break! I really haven't noticed many of those Christmas specials coming on lately. Not that I ever get to watch T.V., but the farzzz always has it going, and I have heard no mention of Rudolph, Santa Claus, The Christams Story, It's a Wonderful Life, Christmas Vacation, or anything of the sort...I'm off to bum another free meal.
seashell
'Twas the night before Monday
'Twas the night before Monday and all through my head
Are dreads of tomorrow as I lay down to bed.
Another day to stare at that screen.
Why are computers always so mean?
With CTL, ALT, DEL my saving grace.
Bill Gates' O.S.; man, what a disgrace.
Sometimes I want to let out a yell
Oh, oh, now what is that smell ?
Smoke from my PC, well maybe it's best
To give this dumb box a most needed rest.
To have a machine so I could really hack
Who knows my next may be ….. a MAC
Phynerk
Sunday, December 05, 2004
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Finals....
The worst part of a college students life would have to be a test day. Tests suck. BUT as a way for College faculty to get their jollies, they have designated a WEEK where you take as a many tests as classes you are in. They call this week finals week.
As a "favor" most colleges set aside the day before finals for students to study, or a relax or to get wasted one last time before they have to get serious... they call this day "Dead Day". Many would think that it is called dead day, because nothing go's on during the day, and the campus is pretty "dead" BUT that is a common misconception. Dead day got its name in 1994 when the stress became so much for one college student that he killed two people outside a condomineum in California.... wait a minute... that wasnt a college student... that was O.J. Simpson. Maybe dead day DID get its name from the state of the campus.... huh.
I never was of age to really make O.J. jokes, and i hadnt heard one in a while, so i figured I would make my first and last one.
anyways i said all that to say finals suck, and i have six of them... and through very thorough training at the office depot, I can tell you that the standard length on a roll of thermal fax paper is 98 ft.
heheh oops...
the bad thing about using blogger for both convoginators and my blog, is that when i want to post on my blog, sometimes i forget to switch the drop-down menu back to my blog. forgive me for that last post down there.
Simply Having a Wonderful Christmastime
Some of you may be wondering why I have not been posting. One word...finals!!! Ugggghhhh. The concept of finals just doesn't make sense to me. You're given a test on one day that covers everything you've learned through the entire course. It took fourteen weeks to learn all of the information, and I'm expected to prove that I've learned all that in two hours. What if I'm having a bad day? What if I'm sick? What if I have a memory lapse the day of the test? Why should twenty-five percent of my grade be based on one test?
Really I'm only worried about two of my tests--piano and my jury. My jury is tomorrow at twoish and I still can't play one of my pieces. The other one I like and have played in a general recital, but in my lesson Tuesday it kicked me arse. I fell apart on passages I've never had trouble with before, and I can only imagine that it would go worse when I actually have to perform it for the entire woodwind faculty. I've made A's on everything we've done in piano, but the final is going to be much, much harder than anything we've done, and it is very long. I'm going to be stumbling through scales, chord progressions, and harmonization for at least twenty minutes, not to mention the two pieces that I can't play. I should quit whinning before someone offers me some cheese and crackers.
A great stress reliever lately has been simply to be obnoxious. There is a nice courtyard at the back of my dorm that contains quite a few trees where a great hoard of birds has taken up residence. There are so many that the ground beneath has turned white. It almost looks like there is snow on the leaves. Now everytime I pass by, I run through the courtyard clapping my hands, causing the birds to take off in a frenzy of fear and rage, making more noise than Manteca when he gets hold of a double Andy with cheese. I know half the residents of Baridon can hear the comotion, and I've probably got a few people wishing harm upon me, but it's fun and they can't take that away from me. I also drink coffee to relieve stress, but that's a different story. It's a good thing I don't drink...
I've really become quite the nusiance to society lately. I've even taken to theft. Yesterday I stole a roll of toliet paper from downstairs, and it wasn't the first time. You have to resort to drastic measures when you're poor. Lately I've bummed many free meals from people, such as Erica and her grandparents. The farzzz and I even went to babysit with Erica last night and got Cheese-It Mix and Oreos out of the deal. I'm looking forward to going home Thursday to real food bought by me very own mum. Who else....? There's my grandmother, my dad, and of course the Convoginators' Christmas Turkey Roast Hoedown get-together thingy. I may be fat by the time I get back to school. Now I just need somebody to pay for my gas, insurance, oil-change, new tires, and a digital camera...I also need Chris Botti's new album *cough* Manteca *cough*...
I suppose that's enough complaints for one day. I'll be home Thursday in time for lunch, so if anybody needs me I'll be doing absolutely nothing, except maybe digging coins out of the couch...
seashell
Saturday, December 04, 2004
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Absolute Zero...
The First Annual Flying Aggies Pawnee Campout/cookout/shootout was met with much fanfare and success. We flew into a nice little grass airport just 20 miles away from Stillwater and camped out Friday night. Pro smoked some ribs and sausage for us, and it was by far the best BBQ that was ever served on Chinette plates. We constructed a campfire of epic proportions, and the effect the super-heated earth had on the local ecology may not be known for some time to come. I do know, however, that it got cold that night. Not just a little cold, but damn cold. So cold that Seashell would probably have elected to set the forest ablaze in search of heat. We awoke just in time to assault a gun range with twenty fellow aviators in clay pigeon shoot that possibly left the species of airborne discs endangered.
I have also now witnessed full-fledged alcoholism. I watched a friend of mine consume "Honey-Nut Beerios" for breakfast, even though we had scrambled eggs, bacon, and hashbrowns just off the camp stove. At first I thought of Kyle, but thoughts quickly turned to P as well, and I know that he will now undoubtedly try this concoction if he in fact wasn't the individual who pioneered such a method of early morning consumption. I'll stick to the Coca-cola; someone has to be sober enough to laugh when someone falls into the fire, which at this point has declined from a proper, boy scout approved burn to a classic, trash, hobo-fire in which we were immolating anything and everything flammable and not of decent value. I'm really looking forward to sleeping in my own bed again tonight, and no one better expect me to wake up early either...
Jeff C.
Friday, December 03, 2004
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A few observations
It has been refreshing to see the glut of posts lately....but !!
Since we all know that everything posted on the internet is true and accurate, I thought it might be good for me to make an observation or two concerning a recent post for the sake of our many readers. The last post by eRIc caught my eye and I thought I needed to correct a gross error on his part. He used the term "black people" which is entirely wrong since "black people" are not actually black but in the brown family. Although it might be tempting to use the term "brown people", this also could cause problems as one may confuse a "brown person" as a UPS employee and not a "black person" being referred to as "brown". Another term that would be 'right out' would be "colored person". This is inaccurate since all people are 'colored' ! For example, white is a color yet a "white person" is not a "colored person" who is, in fact , brown. Therefore I feel the most accurate term would be simply "African-american negro brown non-UPS employee". I hope this would help in the future to make posts concerning these people to be much more in keeping with accurate reporting.
Next, in reference to the person who had the untimely end with the exploding lava lamp. What would move anyone to want to make lava lamp soup anyway? Seems to me people like this do not deserve oxygen.
Phynerk
I'm gettin' a little woozie (flipside)
I got up this morning at 11:00 and went down to the unemployment office to stand in line for three hours. I read a newspaper I found in the trash at the plasma center. Went back to my room and wished I had gotten a college degree. Counted the two dollar bills in my wallet. I was really stoked when I found a quarter in between the cushions at the Goodwill store. Bought a coke. It was a long day. Looks like the crunch will be on to do it all again tomorrow.
Boy, it's cold in here !
Phynerk
i'm gettin' a little woozy....
good times there...
Okay so it's getting to be crunch time. I had a book critique due today on the Narrative of the life of Frederick Douglass. Fun fun fun. I awoke at 9:30 yesterday, commenced reading at chapter two and read the rest of the way through by lunch, at which point i arose from my bed, took a shower, and proceeded to Calculus. I left there early because I forgot my thumbdrive (which is crucial to doing anything in there), so I came back and started my essay/book critique. Intermingled in the following 10 hours was a little bit of The Daily Show and Knights of the Old Republic, and of course the occasional meal, but I was pretty much on task until 1:30, at which point I had read a book finished its critique in under 16 hours. Go me!!
So now, I begin on finishing 4 modules for calculus which is really insane, because we usually do one per week, but since the 18th, he's assigned us 4 modules which are each about 15-20 problems, and one week of that time was thanksgiving break. It's INSANE!!!! So yeah.... crunch time
Oh yeah.... IT"S COLD!!!!
Thursday, December 02, 2004
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 Time for Christmas
So I was really depressed earlier this week. Actually, even up to about 2 hours ago. I know what was bothering me. I have REALLY been wanting to finish my "Christmas" album. *pause for laughing*
I know, you think I'm crazy. I really enjoy singing. I'm not that good. Then again, I don't do it for that, it makes me happy. You know, like 2 double Andys, a large order of Sonic Tator Tots with cheese, a McRib and a DQ Mocha Moo Latte (this happened to be my dinner tonight). SO, I am going to finish my little album project. I do need to call my good friend and great singer Phynerk. I need him on most of the tunes. I also have to beg the Tim Goynes. I need him to play guitar on some of the tracks. I believe that I have whined enough around Matt that he will probably lay down the other guitar tracks. I neede the Purtle, the Seashell, the eRic and yes, defenitely the Carap!
OK...SO... I need more players. I know you guys are about to be home for the Christmas break...SO...PLEASE come play on the album. Everyone of you are great musicians. Even Jeff C., you can come...ok...every good album needs it's snack guy...you can get the snacks. HAHAHAHA!
Let me know. I have this crazy dream of us all getting together for our Christmas Convogination and laying down some tracks then. Food, fun, music and convoginatin'! Doesn't that sound like fun?
manteca
Wednesday, December 01, 2004
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Ni! Ni! Ni!
So I have an avatar now...I suppose it's alright that I look like a 45 year old lady. At least I look like a lady. And of course that reminds me of the scene in Monty Phyton's The Holy Grail with the peasants.
King Arthur: "Old lady!"
Peasant: "Man. And I'm not old; I'm 37."
King Arthur: some unimportant stuff
Peasant: "You could've called me Denis."
King Arthur: "I didn't know you were called Denis."
Peasant: "Well you didn't bother to ask, did you?" (All in laughable British accents of course)
That's got to be the greatest comedy film ever made. I recently got to see The Life of Brian. It of course was hilarious as well, but you can't beat the French taunter and the holy hand grenade of Antioch.
Top o' the mornin',
seashell
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