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Saturday, April 30, 2005
The Concrete Pond...

The pool summoned for me, gave me a lecture, cried a bit and then set an ultimatum. Nobody swims until he (the pool) receives a written apology and two 5 gallon buckets of chlorine chips. He (the pool) was very serious... I couldn't even begin re-fill until I replaced the rope between the deep end and the shallow with a rope with a sign that read "Big Daddy."


Friday, April 29, 2005
Swim at your own risk ! !

The picture below depicts possible measures to be taken before using the Manteca ( Poo Bah's) pool this summer.
Beware ! Swim there only if you have been trained in advanced Hazmat procedures.
It has been found that several band members 'relieved' themselves in this pool last season. The residual effects
have only escalated thru the off-season months. ( A list of the offenders has been sent to OSHA headquarters
for analysis for possible pandemic outbreaks of the dreaded Pool-O-Peep syndrone.)


Wednesday, April 27, 2005
Summertime, Summertime, Sum, Sum, Summertime...

Gettin' the pool ready. It was a little GREEN from the winter. When I say green, I mean nasty, thick as pudding green! We had to get Steve Irwin to come and catch a big 'ol Croc before we could drain it.


Monday, April 25, 2005
Dear Jeff C,

It's not everyday that one gets to see one's house on the internet from an aerial perspective. The picture, however, raised a few questions to mind:
1) If you were planning to use your super zoom lens on your next fly by, are you going let out the secret of whether I wear briefs or boxers ?
2) I wonder if you realize that you set up my family for a possible alkada strike ?
3) I disavow any knowledge of a "trooper" of any kind. ( I do, however, know of the Crestwood sniper )

PS. I did not reclaim the free song. It would have been a dandy though. Probably a little something by James Brown.

PPS. It was really great to hear from Ms. Seashell again. Her posts are always a delight. I was surprised that she did not seem to require her normal 'pint'.

PPPS. I have been working out of town for several weeks. When I finally drag into the house...even Convogination is far from my mind ( shudder the mere thought ).

PPPPS. I've always wanted to do that.


Salt In The Wound...

I just so happened to be uncharacteristically bored this afternoon, and stumbled across some pictures of this summer. I hate to pour salt in the wound, eRIc... oh wait... not really.

Image hosted by

Jeff C.

P.S. Sorry to drag you into this, Phynerk.

I'm Forever Blowing Bubbles

The UCA Saxophone Studio rolled into Conway Sunday morning at one o'clock after spending two entire days listening to saxophone music in Jonesboro. We attended the North American Saxophone Alliance Region 4 Conference at ASU, and as much fun as it was, I was never so happy to be back in Conway. I'll be the first to say that I like listening to the saxophone, but after about ten hours of it two days in a row, one is left with no desire to even look at a saxophone for a few days. There were some very talented musicians there playing great pieces, but I've heard enough contemporary music to last the rest of the month. There were altissimos, multiphonics, electronics, and all that other stuff you wouldn't want to play for your grandma. It didn't take long for me to get really tired with atonal pieces although there were quite a few I really enjoyed. One of the electronic pieces said f*** about 150 times, but it was really cool. I think it was called "Grab It" ... yeah... Dr. Griffin Campbell did a masterclass that was great, but it left me feeling like a "jerk." Eric Nestler performed in the Finale Concert. He was great of course. And the Texas Saxophone Quartet (and Friends) played a bunch of pieces from the Six Brown Brothers and the Columbia Saxophone Sextette. I forgot how much I like Vaudville stuff. I really should have been born in the twenties.

So, the Pepsi song... Who took it?!? You better 'fess up cuz I wanted it. I had a good one picked out too, but now I'm not telling.

Two more weeks and there will be one more convoginator in Hope. May 5 is going to be a wonderful day...


Sunday, April 24, 2005
Who says I'm not benevolent?

This constitutes my good deed for the year.


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Redeem at iTunes!

First come, first serve. If you are the lucky winner let us know about it in the tagboard... I do request that this cap not be used to purchase anything with lyrics which may offend Tipper Gore.

I'm just kidding, of course. Download all the Slayer you want...

Jeff C.

a funny website

i know alot of people dont like him, but im definitely a fan of vin diesil, and i found this website that is pretty cool even if you are a hater

just refresh it to see more

Friday, April 22, 2005
Where's the beef?

So nothing exciting happened to anyone this week? I am getting pretty tired of seeing the same old posts on this site. Matthew and I have been a little busy with this teenie weenie little FIRE!!! So I think we have a good reason for not posting. So what have you people been doing? Nobody posted in favor of the new pope. He is a sweel pope of a guy! Nobody posted in defense of Tom Daley! Doesn't anyone have anything to say about Michael Jackson? The Wendy's chili finger lady? Anything???

MY One line...uh, funny quote -
It is funny that among the wonderous things that man has created, there are two such different things as Napalm and Silly Putty... - George Carlin


Tuesday, April 19, 2005
My One-Liner

It's just a bunch of people with big scissors.

A Mitch Moment

i thought in honor of mitch hedberg's tragic death due to an underwater welding accident, we could keep his memory going by coming up with our own one-liners.... i'll start.

Just how dangerous are the dangerously cheesy cheetos?

Monday, April 18, 2005
Packet loss...

Matthew and I were bound and determined to save the servers from the fire.

Saturday, April 16, 2005
One of my new heroes!

David Gelernter is a professor of computer science at Yale. He is now a regular columnist for the (rag) L.A. Times. His first regular column "Soldiers Do Us Honor" is an excellent read and brings out many of the truths we have been advocating here at the Convoginators. We all have friends and family who serve in the military and our respect and admiration is unfathomable. This article is a must read!


...and behind door number one

Majority Leader Ton DeLay doesn't seem to have a chance. Now his own party is ready to give him up. At the beginning of this past week, Connecticut Rep. Chris Shays urged Delay to resign. Then Rick Santorum (R-Penn.) decides that DeLay needs to answer questions about his ethics. Geez! I wouldn't want these guys as my "friends."

Luckily, Tom Tancredo (R-Colo.) has come to the rescue:

"If the majority leader were to temporarily step aside so that these trumped up charges can be dealt with in a less hostile environment, as they have proven to be an unnecessary distraction, it may be a productive move," said Rep. Tom Tancredo.

Tancredo, elected in 1998, said he believes all charges against DeLay, R-Texas, "lack merit" and are "being leveled in the hopes of bringing him down and with him, the Republican majority."

I believe that Tancredo is correct. This is an attempt to wound the Majority. I also think it is a back door attempt to harm the President. DeLay is from Texas... Nuff said! The liberals are amazing. I'm pretty sure they eat their young. Heck, I know Hillary Clinton least the children she bakes in the oven in her candy house.


Thursday, April 14, 2005
More Media Bias in the ongoing 'relaspe' of ethics

The Minority Leader, Nancy Pelosi, is also been found guilty. Charges were made and the fines were levied. There is no doubt that she was part of ethics violaions concerning campaign contributions. Why didn't the media go after her when she was fined by the FEC.

The Roll Call, Captiol Hill newspaper since 1955, had this to say:

A controversial fundraising committee run by House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) was slapped with a $21,000 fine by the Federal Election Commission for enabling Pelosi to funnel more than $100,000 in illegal contributions to Democratic candidates in late 2002 as she was vying to become Democratic leader.

How about our most favorite Independent Representative from Vermont, Bernie Sanders. He is a professed socialist and past finee of the FEC. He used campaign donations to pay his wife and stepdaughter more than $150,000 for campaign-related work since 2000, according to records filed with the federal elections committee. His wife helped produce commercials for him and kept 30,000 for her services. And what is funny is that this joker has the audacity to complainabout it.

Just a little agitated.

Top 10 words of our past

I'm between jobs right now at work which basically means I ain't got nothin' to do until I get assigned another job for a client. So, instead of staring out the window all day, yesterday I took a few hours and took a trip down Convoginator's memory lane by reading from our vast archives. I thought I might post what I think I found to be the top 10 words and phrases that pretty much defined our past. Here they are:

10) I'm bored
9) Ireland
8) Fat
7) Al Gore
6) Any way
4) I need a pint
3) Old
2) Band
And the #1 word which expressed the essence of our past…….POOP


Wednesday, April 13, 2005
A little Politics for a change up.

i have been quite confused on the whole Tom Delay 'relapse' in ethics ove the past few days. It is actually kind of been worrying me that the one of the most effiective Republicans that serves in the House has or is corrupt. I don't pay attention to much news or politics anymore, but this little doozey has caught my ear and kept me up a little at night.

Supposed what the media has drug up is that he has taken lobbyist sponsered trips to Russia and/or South Korea to play golf and trol-la-lah and galavant around the countries with his little devious eyes looking for people and places to be evil. that is what i gather from the most recent reports of Tom Delay.

I decided to do some listening and looking and a little reading with a little research to come up with a few peices of facts and a litte conservative propaganda.

I started at theNational Center for Public Policy Research. I have to admit they are a conservative think tank dedicated to doing behind the scene research on a number of issues. You can read the "About Us" page for more details. This is the group that is in queation of provideing monies to Tom Delay and his wife. This is their statement on the issue.

Delay wasn't the only person to go this trip.

"At least eight House members and 15 House aides filed the same paperwork and information on the South Korea trips including..." and this is in addition to DeLay, "including [Delegate]Faleomavaegaa Democrat. Lisa Williams chief of staff to Faleomavaega said, 'He went through the process of clearing him on the ethics to the Korea trip. Jim McDermott, Democrat on the Korea trip. 'It's a great 20/20 hindsight story,' said Mike DeCesare, spokesman for McDermott," Baghdad Jim if you'll recall, who went on one of the group's trips. "'McDermott's understanding" DeCesare said, 'that was the ethics committee cleared this.' Like the dozens of Republicans and Democrat members and staff who go on trips every year, DeLay reported this and other trips, and provided the appropriate disclosure information. Privately sponsored trips are a common bipartisan practice, although Democrats took approximately 600 more trips over the past few years.
These groups ranging from Aspen to the World Economic Forum spent $14.4 million to send lawmakers on more than 4,800 trips according to an analysis of congressional trips by a news service, the Medill News Service in partnership with American Public Media's marketplace program and American Radio Works.

"Aspen Institute, the top provider of these trips is a favorite of Democrats. They spent a total of 2.7 million on 490 trips with 69.2% of the money spend on Democrats, 30% spent on Republicans, 0.8% spent on independents. The Aspen Institute forums are held in places like Rome, Barcelona, Honolulu, Porto Vallarta, and the Bahamas. From 2000 to 2004, despite being the minority party, Democrat members of Congress took 54.3% of the trips which is 2,730, at an expense of $7,809,837. Republicans took 45.3% of the trips, grand total 2,095 totaling $6-1/2 million. Bottom line: Democrats took over 600 more trips than Republicans between 2000 and 2004, and the top five trip makers in the order of most spent on the trips from 2000 to 2004 were all Democrats. John Breaux [retirednews ] was the top trip taker in Congress. He took trips totaling $158,311.92. Bob Wexler, Florida, number two. Wexler's only domestic trip was to Greenbrier up in West Virginia. Gene Green, Democrat, Texas, third top trip maker. Maurice Hinchey, New York, the fourth. Cal Cooley, Democrat, California, was the fifth."


(I am still finding all the hard numbers on these facts. Since I can't afford LexisNexis, I can't do very detailed searched of every newspaper in the world.)

Lets say that he is corrupt and he got a free trip to Russia and Korea, (who goes on vacation to those places anyway?) Take a look at what Harry Reid did. Where memebers of his family directly benefitted from a 'bipartisan' bill that he passed. Read the story.

I say all of this to ask this: Why is the media only talking about one guy and a couople of trips when this is the norm in the BeltWay? Is it possible there is an agenda to smear an effective Representative. Ben Stein (the monotone science teacher and the same 'Win Ben Stein's Money') wrote an opinion on this issue.

His Number 4 point hits on the head in my opinion

Tom DeLay's comments about a judiciary that sanctioned the torture murder of Terri Schiavo and how it has to be brought to account was a brave and entirely sensible approach to an issue that dismays and frightens many Americans. His comments are yet another sign of what a fine patriot this man is.

Read this Poison. You can see that people hate him because is a Bible Thumping, Ten commandment displaying Methodist.

When is the media going to learn, that they don't have a monopoly anymore.

Dog Euthanasia

Trooper - "Takin' a bullet for the common dog since 1904..."


May I remind you Dad...

I'm not sure if you remember like I do a certain situation that I/we were in last summer.... a certain dog by the name of "TROOPER"...

trooper fell prey to the crestwood sniper

the crestwood sniper enjoys killing animals, so get him to do it...

RIP. TROOPER. 1904 - 2004

i miss you

Go get 'em, guys !!!

You may not be aware of this but Thursday (tomorrow) the Manteca and Matthew will be taking the first of seven Microsoft certification tests to give them the prestigious title of MSHSNWSI&FPE (Microsoft System Hardware, Software, Network, Wires, Sockets, Integration & Fixit Person Engineer). Let's all wish them well !!

Knock 'em dead, boys !!!


Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Advice for Phynerk...

A letter is a good idea, and if you wanted to get the most out of this you should send it registered mail and require a signature. Keep a copy as a record as well as your mail receipt. If this fails to solve the problem, poll the other residents and start a petition (I'm pretty sure I know a couple of people who would sign it) requesting the offending canines be contained, restrained, detained, or buried. Once again, send registered mail requiring a signature. If a diplomatic solution cannot be worked out in this manner, you have evidence that you requested on a number of occasions something be done to resolve it.

If it comes on your property, then shoot it. Inform others that might help you to do the same.

If you see it in the road, then run over it. Inform others who might want to help you to do the same.

If push comes to shove, then just call the sheriff's department of the Arkansas Game and Fish Commission as I'm pretty sure the Animal Control has no authority outside of city limits. Since Labrador (I'm pretty sure I know of whom you are speaking) is not considered by most residents of the great state of Arkansas to be game and/or fish (lets not discuss Louisiana) then I imagine the Sheriff's Department would be your best bet. I know of two people in particular in the neighborhood who could answer that question better than I could hope to.

That being said, I'll be visiting in a few weeks and if I know which canine offends.... I'll do my best to "avoid" running over it... with a big truck...

Best of luck to you...

Jeff C.

So what should I do?

Attached is a letter I was planning on delivering to one of our neighbors concerning a 'painful' experience I had early this morning with one of their dogs:

Mr and Mrs ________

I've lived in Crestwood Acres for 20 years. During most of that time I have enjoyed quiet, safe, early morning jogs up and down our street. This ended about two years ago when you acquired a number of dogs. Since then I have been as patient as I know to be. Each time I jog I have to put up with the dog's incessant barking as well as the danger they've added to my runs by causing me to stumble over them as they run up on me barking and raising all kinds of racket. My patience ended this morning quite abruptly and painfully, I might add, when your tan female bit me on the side of the leg. Needless to say, if you are not able to keep your dogs in such a way to allow for your neighbors to use the public streets in our neighborhood in safety, then I will be forced to do whatever I feel necessary to keep myself safe on my future jogs.

Eager for your cooperation,


Since joining our little Convogination society, I've grown to appreciate your extremely wise and enlightened advice. So I thought I would urge you to give me possible alternatives to this letter. All advice will be taken as seriously as things always are in this arena. I will endeavor to report back to you on how your advice worked in this unpleasant situation.

Thank you for your support.


Milsurp is where it's at!

Graduating Seniors take notice! Those of you in the market for a new vehicle (that daddy will ultimately pay for) that will undoubtedly be a large, gas-guzzling monstrosity the likes of which will block out the sun and cause a spike in the price of petroleum based fuels for decades to come, should definitely shop military surplus. Why you ask? Simple elementary, dear Watson. A milsurp "Deuce and a Half" truck can be had for little more than three thousand dollars current market value. Now you have a vehicle that requires hearing protection to be worn by all occupants of the cab and can only hit fifty-five miles per hour flat out. On the other hand, it will haul just about anything you put in it, and you certainly won't have to worry about getting in an accident with anything other than an 18-wheeler. If you don't necessarily care for Olive Drab (not that I'm sure why you wouldn't), then all you you'd have to do is go on Pimp My Ride. I'm sure they could do all sorts of things to this truck. Just imagine the possibilities...

Image hosted by

Be the first on your block to get one!

Jeff C.

Monday, April 11, 2005
Happy Birthday RainCheck!

You know it seems like only yesterday when you were quoting that little kid from the Toys-R-Us commercial in the band truck. The name Raincheck it now synonymous with COOL...yes, because of you.

"El Raincheck de Legal"

sorry, this is the only picture I could grab quickly!


Wednesday, April 06, 2005
Payin' Dues...

You know, sometimes things just don't go the way you wish. You think to yourself, "this isn't fair." Been there, done that. Eventually you come to the realization that it wasn't supposed to be this way, and that you were wrong to assume that you were mistreated, unfairly punished, or "looked over" for an opportunity. I have had my ups and downs. I have also paid my dues. I have played every kind of musical gig known to man (except polka...that one eludes me). I have taught public school music, dealt with every type of spoiled child, clueless parent and ridiculous sports fan known to man. I have slaved away with $5, a 6' ladder, and a clothes hanger on a 300 hour wiring job in the tech field. I have paid my dues. The interesting thing is, that everyday now, I get a little closer to understanding why I am here. I don't take things for granted anymore. I understand that I do not know as much as I thought (I leave that to high school seniors...I've seen 11 years of 18 year olds who know the meaning of life). I now realize exactly what I must do... I must change my course in life and become a septic technician.

Thats it...thats all I had to say. Septic Technician...

Was this just a rant so that I could post? Possibly...

**New one for the musical gigs... playing bass with about 30 First through 3rd grade violin players...The Orange Blossom Special never sounded so sweet!


Sunday, April 03, 2005
Movie Review Time!

I've been increasingly busy lately, as you can see by my lack of posting. However, this weekend I decided to reward myself by taking the time to watch two movies. Both were very enjoyable even though I had to view them all by my lonesome.

Saturday night after working for twelve straight hours on an Honors paper, an ear training assignment, and various other things, I sat down to watch Vera Drake. If you know anything about this movie you're probably wondering why in the world I would watch a movie involving abortion. We've been discussing abortion in Honors lately, and I just thought it would be fitting. It was much more than that. I think it was the saddest movie I've ever seen. It tells the story of a middle-aged woman in 1950's Britian where everyone is still talking about the war. Vera is married with two grown children and is adored by everyone who knows her. She works as a domestic in various homes, feeding the elderly and cleaning, but she also has a secret that only a few know about. She "helps out young girls." She comes in contact with these young women through a childhood friend who takes money for Vera's service and tells them not to mention money to Vera, for Vera does not get paid. To say any more would give away the story. This is a wonderful film. I am still completely against abortion, but this really made me look at it a little closer. It also really does a great job depicting the darkness of Britian in the 1950's. Definately worth your time.

Today after church I put aside the homework and watched I Heart Huckabees. This film is about one Albert Markovski who seeks the help of a husband and wife duo of existential detectives after experiencing what he thinks to be a strang coincidence that must mean something. There are quite a few philosophies presented in some very stange, humourous ways. Albert is an evironmentalist doing a poor job conserving a particular plot of land that Huckabees, "The Everything Store," wants for a new building. Albert must try to get around Huckabees corporate employee Brad Strand (Jude Law), with whom he has confliting opinions. Brad also gets into the existential mix for different gains, and both men are stalked by their detectives, making life that much harder for the two. Then Caterine Vauban comes into the mix with a different existential view, and Albert follows her lead, after finding his "other." Albert's search for peace of mind unfolds into a very comical series of events. This movie is definately not for everyone. It is quite odd, and I enjoyed it very much, even though some might say that it's very liberal of me. I loved how it made light of philosophy.

Now that I've got the movie watching out of my system, I should probably do my Honors work for tomorrow.


Saturday, April 02, 2005
Got some new threads...

So I got me a new t-shirt. I think it says it all...

Great shirt...


Friday, April 01, 2005
In Memory of Mitch...

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Mitch Hedberg 1968-2005

Jeff C.

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