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Monday, September 29, 2008
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The Economy is NOT my fault!

Page_1

Friday, September 26, 2008
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The "perfect" crime

It's not everyday when you can honestly applaud someone for executing the perfect crime.

Phynerk

Sunday, September 21, 2008
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Oh you cheeky monkey!

I hope my comment on the tagboard to the left doesn't offend anyone.  Wait, sure I do.  It's true.  While I am in the worst predicament a voting man could be in during an election year, I still gotta call it like I see it.  I have been living through "change."  I've seen my hometown change, my high school alma mater change, my band change and my mental state change.  All of this "change" has been brought about not by intelligent redesign, not thoughtful debate and reconstruction, but by something as trivial as me wearing blue socks with sandals.  I have seen this great "change" send CheekyMonkeyour schools not only into academic distress, but trust me, by the end of this year, fiscal distress.  This has to do with one thing, and one thing only.  Ignorance...and when I say ignorance, I mean ...well, ignorance.

I have been lucky throughout the years to have heeded my grandfathers advice.  "If you aren't the smartest guy for the job, at least be smart enough to hire the smartest guy for the job."  So yeah, I have luckily hired, lured or Shanghai'd the best, brightest and most talented people to help with my world domination.  Unfortunately, a lot like AIG and Lehman's, my school district has not.  True, they did hire me... Geez... what a bunch of losers.  They also hired the wrong administrators.  Administrators who have neglected or ignored the fact that we have fallen into an academic quagmire.  The "change" that has happened here is a microcosm of the big "change" that is happening elsewhere in the country.  The "change" that I fear is coming is one of smug indemnity.  Unfortunately we humans very rarely look into our own houses first.  Hey, I think we left a child behind... No, that was just aunt Ludie.

So my comment to the left is just as it seems.  I believe that Obama is not the perfect candidate for president.  Not that McCain is either, but as my Live Space's buddy Rick's 14 year old daughter put it "No.  I still think McCain is better.  We don't know what we're getting with Obama".

Thursday, September 18, 2008
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Jeff C's new ride

I was talking with the 'sniper' yesterday and he told me Jeff C has a way to beat the high cost of gas. Actually, the gas costs just as much, but you don't use as much if you get where you want to go....REALLY FAST.

Phynerk

Oh Yeah... Bail this out!


Looks like all $85 billion is worth these days is a one day roller coaster ride on the stock market and 150 point gain. Only to be lost the next day when the money actually hits the greedy hands of the corporate stooge. I was watching Foxnews yesterday morning when the comment was made by one of the Federal money men that AIG needed the bail out because there were 160,000 employees. WOW! I'm pretty sure there are a lot more than 160,000 people in South Texas and Louisiana, who, after Gustav and Ike would like a little Federal money to put their house back on that concrete slab. In trying times, most people began to sell off what they don't need. Why don't we let AIG have those trailers? They can keep whatever profit they make from them!

Monday, September 15, 2008
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The Liberals are bringing out the big guns...

I love this quote.  Lindsay Hoham...Loham... Loho...whatever.  These celebrities think they are truly superior than everyone else because they worked with Herbie!  Can you answer the questions?

"I really cannot bite my tongue anymore when it comes to Sarah Palin," Lohan writes, urging people to vote for Sen. Barack Obama. "Is it a sin to be gay? Should it be a sin to be straight? Or to use birth control? Or to have sex before marriage? Or even to have a child out of wedlock?"

Those are some HARD hitting questions.  Harvard must be excited...first Hussein Obama and now Flibertty Gidget.  Wait, I understand that NYU might get her...that is until she goes back into rehab.

So you think you have problems....Ha !!!

Think about how many (real) friends you have. If you are lucky maybe you have 10 (real) friends, then think how many parents and siblings you have. So say you have a mom and dad and one brother or sister, So now the total comes to maybe 14. Now think of 9 more folk that are very, very special to you. If you are like me, you probably didn’t need to go all the way to the 23 possible. Well now think of that group of people; the very best group of folk that you know personally on the whole planet. Well that’s how many were literally crushed to death yesterday in Indonesia while they were waiting on a cash handout from some rich family during their “holy” time of Ramadan. So you say, hey, for a million bucks it might have been worth it, but these folks were being dolled out a grand total of $3.30 each. So next time you think you’ve got it bad – don’t.

Phynerk

Thursday, September 11, 2008
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Did I say that ???

South Carolina Democratic chairwoman Carol Fowler sharply attacked Sarah Palin today, saying John McCain had chosen a running mate "whose primary qualification seems to be that she hasn’t had an abortion.” Wow, I thought, that had to be the stupidest and rude thing anyone could have possibly said. I guess I thought about what I had said and wondered if there actually could be something worse that Ms Fowler could have said. With that I pondered, “I’ve got a computer and I’m a bit of a programmer…” So I set out to write a program to answer that very question. It really was fairly simple actually. I merely imported the entire Webster’s unabridged dictionary into the computer then with an algorithm using (ILIC) interlinear linguistic interpretive construct I allowed the program to run until it used every possible word and phrase combination in our language to determine the stupidest and rude thing anyone could possibly say. As you might guess, with so many possible choices, the program ran for over 27 hours before giving the answers. I was surprised that there were only three possible phrases that were on an equal par of stupidity to what Ms Fowler had said and I share them with you in the order they came out of my printer:

Stupidest and /or rude thing anyone could possibly say #1:

You can put lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a pig.

Stupidest and /or rude thing anyone could possibly say #2:

Hillary Clinton is as qualified or more qualified than I am to be vice president of the United States of America. Let’s get that straight. She’s a truly close personal friend, she is qualified to be president of the United States of America, she’s easily qualified to be vice president of the United States of America, and quite frankly, it might have been a better pick than me.

Stupidest and /or rude thing anyone could possibly say #3:

Poop












Phynerk

Ain't science grand ?





You are probably like me and have been so enamored by the democratic and republican carnivals that you overlooked what’s going on in Geneva, Switzerland. Manteca showed us a cartoon yesterday of the world’s largest particle collider. It's clear his little joke revealed his total lack of understanding in the importance of this remarkable machine. This device raised the bar as far as one could imagine when it comes to the old expression “big boys like expensive and big toys”. I’ve read they have been working on this thing since 1984 and it’s got a price tag of ten billion dollars. Not too shabby. Unlike some toy, however, that will end up unused some day in the back of a closet, this device is going to change life as we know it. The premise is really quite simple actually. If the collider proves the existence of new particles, it could test the dominant physics hypothesis of "string theory," which seeks to reconcile quantum mechanics and gravity in an all-encompassing formula that has eluded all scientists since Albert Einstein. And to quote Dr. Earnst Von Gist, "Ich hätte es nie geglaubt". So, naturally, you can see it will change everything you’ve ever believed in; everything that is, or was, or will be. For the first time we will know for certain if the light in the refrigerator really goes off when the door is closed. It’s also been said it will prove the existence of God. This information is of great interest to me since I thought I met Him in 1972, but then I could have been wrong all these years. A few zillion collided quantum particles should do the trick though. Ain’t science grand ?



Phynerk

Wednesday, September 10, 2008
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It's the end of the world as we know it...

HADRON

If you would like a play by play...go here.

For some reason dogs and cats have started living together here in Hope.  Oooh... look a weird beam of light emanating from ground!

So far they have sent two beams around the machine.  Each in opposite directions.  Now they have to fine tune the magnets so that they can get the beams in the center of the tunnels.  At that point they will be able to smash them together.  Worse case scenario, the world implodes.  Best case scenario, all the jello colors in the world will switch themselves.

Tuesday, September 09, 2008
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You've probably seen it,

but it's still funny.



That was a fantastic amount of tapdancing. I can't wait for the debates, because NoBama without a teleprompter makes Bush look like a truly gifted orator. At least Bush makes up funny words for our enjoyment... hehe, "strategery."

Tuesday, September 02, 2008
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Angry Woman...

I'm pretty sure this gas bag had a drink, a valium and a handful of hormones after writing this article.  What a witch.  Did I hit the "W" key...oops.  This lady hates the idea that a normal person like Palin can be vice president.  She has already kicked her teeth out and pretty much called her everything but a redneck.  She also seems to think Osama's Harvard degree trumps everything else.  Well, my dad took darn good care of us and made sure we all went to college, made a good living and he never wrote for the Harvard Law Review.  Anybody notice that rich white woman Oprah at the Democratic Convention.  I wonder why they don't go after her, or diddy, the NBA, NFL, etc.  WAIT, they earned that money... Please read the thousands of comments at the end...they are wonderful.

This one is even better... Throwing out Langston Hughes quotes and talking about the rich white people, she is one angry...well, I don't know, Fatimah Ali.  I wonder if she is related to Muhammad Ali (Cassius Marcellus Clay), maybe she should stick to mumbling.  This quote from the article says it all... "If McCain wins, look for a full-fledged race and class war, fueled by a deflated and depressed country, soaring crime, homelessness - and hopelessness!" 

Whew, I'm getting scared.  If you want to read the stuff that really pisses off the left wing, go here.  I must have problems, because I agree with Palin.

OK, I'll stop.  Oh yeah if you don't like it, please drive to Columbus, Arkansas.  The sign says Madlock Ranch.  Ask my grandfather, Ervin Madlock if you can see the Madlock's mule...then kiss it.

Disappointment

You know, I'm no stranger to disappointment.  Someone lately has thrown that in my face like it was the scarlet letter or the plague.  Actually more like bigotry or piteousness, you know something EVERY human has but is ashamed that they have.  The disappointment I'm talking about is not the disappointment of waking up Christmas morning and not getting what you want.  Geez, if I had a dollar every time the Easter Bunny forgot to leave me Christmas presents on Valentines Day... I digress.  You know how many times I sat at the end of a marching contest knowing, wishing, hoping for the trophies that I knew we deserved?  THAT'S disappointment.

Disappointment is like most things...it's fleeting.  It holds on for a bit, but then after a few years, you can't even remember the actual event.  I mean it's not like murder, rape, massive public humiliation, or public pant wetting, those things can never be forgotten.  I guess the thing that I am trying to come to grips with is BEING disappointed.  Yes, it is ok to be disappointed in an event, an outcome, an dream and yes, a person.  So there it is, I'm very disappointed in a person.  So disappointed that it made me physically ill. The entire situation made me question everything I had ever done for anyone else.  It's not the first time I have been disappointed in another human being (or been a disappointment to another human being...just ask my mother), this time I was made, either on purpose or inadvertently, to feel guilty about the disappointment I had.  As with dreams, when you put a lot into people, specific people in general, when that doesn't pan out, it breaks your heart.  Luckily, thanks to several people in my life (Kim, Riley, Parker, Phynerk, Matthew, eRic, just to name a few) I know that I can love them and eventually, it will all be ok. 

So there it is. I got it out.  Better here than anywhere else.  Thanks Jeff C. for making sure that I re-read my post on Palin and got my crap straight.  Twisp, thanks for your push there.  Yes, I support the lady.  She is real, her new baby has downs syndrome, her son is going to fight in Iraq, her daughter is pregnant and now she gets to deal with it with the whole world as an audience, and oh yeah, SHE got tapped as VP running mate. WOW!  Somebody, somewhere, with a lot more knowledge of the secret, evil, self-gratifying world of global politics thinks she HAS enough experience to get the job done. So let's see what happens.  Either way, It's all gonna burn anyway...

Monday, September 01, 2008
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Color me excited

I will admit that prior to the announcement of McCain's running mate, I had written off this election. McCain does very little to excite me, though I was prepared to vote for him in the face of Obama. Not that I was really going to be voting for McCain as much as voting against Obama. However, I now have renewed enthusiasm for McCain's ticket and this election in general.

I'm just an amateur political pundit, which seems a contradiction in terms, but I still have an opinion and a soapbox, thanks to Al Gore's wonderful internet. Palin is perhaps the greatest pick that McCain could have possibly made. In one move, he stole what is ultimately at the core of Obama's campaign: history in the making. Such thoughts are now immaterial; either outcome is going to be groundbreaking. The focus can now return to the issues, the qualifications and experience of the candidates, and ultimately what is best for our great nation.

This is certainly shaping up to be an exciting few months.

Jeff C.

Hope - the Oasis

You might remember I grew up in New Orleans. So call me a romantic, call me a softie, call me a wimp, call me gay, call me an independent, even call me a Convoginator, but still my heart goes out to those people that have been displaced from their homes due to the hurricane. I guess in some ways I know a little of what they are going through. “Back in the day” there wasn’t the advance warnings we get now from the storms. In fact it was not uncommon that during the evening news you might hear the following announcement: “If you are wondering why the shingles are flying off of your roof and through the windows of your neighbor, it is because we think the eye of hurricane Betsy just went through downtown New Orleans. More details later after sports with Hap Glaudy…..heeeerrrs, Hap!” Yes, those were the days. Anyway I spent the morning down at First Baptist Church ( God Bless ‘em) just talking and visiting with the evacuees there. In fact last night FBC hosted 146 people that had taken flight from Gustav. I found it amazing what you can learn if you just listen to folk. First I found that the people I talked with were very appreciative of the accommodations and giving spirit of the people of Hope. I mean put yourself in these people’s shoes. They leave everything behind to a storm of unknown strength and direction, they drive north thinking they will find some place to stay in Baton Rouge..No way, everything is full up. In fact they continue their trek to find the same story in all the major towns along the way; Alexandria, Cheneyville, Bunkie, Dry Prong and even Colfax…..no room ! Then they continue on into Arkansas until they find a glimmer of Hope in a town called “Hope”. An oasis where they find a clean, air conditioned room to rest their weary bodies. Of course there’s always “one in every crowd” that thinks entitlements are expected at every turn of life. This one lady was pitching a fit because First Baptist didn’t have a pharmacy. I wanted to give her something for pain…and the pain to go along with it, but then you gotta’ take the good with the bad, I suppose. So if any of you local Convoginators want to help a bit in the next few days, go on down to FBC, roll up your sleeves and help as you can. If you are like me, you will come out of there invigorated .
So it looks like this time people and government actually learned something from history. Seems like everyone got out of the area safely and without the incidents we saw three years ago. In fact the only one that I know of that needs some education is the fool who didn’t properly tie the double-bowline-half-hitch-bowsman knot that caused the barge to get loose in the industrial canal. I’m sure there will be heck to pay after the rope is tested for DNA.

Phynerk


 
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