You know, I'm no stranger to disappointment. Someone lately has thrown that in my face like it was the scarlet letter or the plague. Actually more like bigotry or piteousness, you know something EVERY human has but is ashamed that they have. The disappointment I'm talking about is not the disappointment of waking up Christmas morning and not getting what you want. Geez, if I had a dollar every time the Easter Bunny forgot to leave me Christmas presents on Valentines Day... I digress. You know how many times I sat at the end of a marching contest knowing, wishing, hoping for the trophies that I knew we deserved? THAT'S disappointment.
Disappointment is like most things...it's fleeting. It holds on for a bit, but then after a few years, you can't even remember the actual event. I mean it's not like murder, rape, massive public humiliation, or public pant wetting, those things can never be forgotten. I guess the thing that I am trying to come to grips with is BEING disappointed. Yes, it is ok to be disappointed in an event, an outcome, an dream and yes, a person. So there it is, I'm very disappointed in a person. So disappointed that it made me physically ill. The entire situation made me question everything I had ever done for anyone else. It's not the first time I have been disappointed in another human being (or been a disappointment to another human being...just ask my mother), this time I was made, either on purpose or inadvertently, to feel guilty about the disappointment I had. As with dreams, when you put a lot into people, specific people in general, when that doesn't pan out, it breaks your heart. Luckily, thanks to several people in my life (Kim, Riley, Parker, Phynerk, Matthew, eRic, just to name a few) I know that I can love them and eventually, it will all be ok.
So there it is. I got it out. Better here than anywhere else. Thanks Jeff C. for making sure that I re-read my post on Palin and got my crap straight. Twisp, thanks for your push there. Yes, I support the lady. She is real, her new baby has downs syndrome, her son is going to fight in Iraq, her daughter is pregnant and now she gets to deal with it with the whole world as an audience, and oh yeah, SHE got tapped as VP running mate. WOW! Somebody, somewhere, with a lot more knowledge of the secret, evil, self-gratifying world of global politics thinks she HAS enough experience to get the job done. So let's see what happens. Either way, It's all gonna burn anyway...
