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Monday, May 31, 2004
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Back to the stone age...
The level four thunderstorms that rolled into town did more than send a tornado within a few miles of my house, they also knocked out the power for no less than five hours. The advantages of a laptop were readily apparent as I still managed to get online and get my blogging fix (I need some serious help.) Then the power flicked on and off about seven or eight times in just a minute. It was some kind of sick joke the power company was playing on me. It was just past midnight when electrical power was completely restored to the hapless inhabitants of my neighborhood. My house immediately began its series of cruel jokes as lights came back on, computers rebooted, alarms went off, and blinking "12:00's" appeared all over the place.
Earlier that evening, however, represented the shortest church experience of my life. One song into the service, the sirens went off and the women-folk went to the basement and the men ran outside. My dad even made the comment, "That sound means we're supposed to seek shelter, but here we are!" Sometimes, common sense takes a back seat to machismo and curiosity... and we all know what that did to the proverbial cat.
Jeff C.
Saturday, May 29, 2004
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The Day After Tomorrow (Monday?)
Another fine Saturday evening was visited upon me thanks to gas in my mother's car and company of the highest caliber. Odd stores in the mall and amusing radio shows aside, the crux of my post is a review of the movie "The Day After Tomorrow." Be forewarned, this will include some spoilers, so if you haven't seen the movie and want to be surprised, then I suggest you read this and then go watch something else...
This was by far, the most tree-hugging, dolphin-riding movie I have ever seen in my entire life. It seriously made me want to run outside and start making as many Chloroflourocarbons as possible. The movie's intended goal of making you hate Republicans and all that they stand for aside, the special effects of the weather are rather spectacular. These are also what makes the movie so amusing in spite of what the creators were hoping for. (Run from the killer frost!) A climate shift of the most catastrophic proportions results in a new ice age and the subsequent fleeing of millions of Americans to Mexico. Many are forced to cross the Rio Grande illegally and become reverse wetbacks. Meanwhile, storm surges send tornadoes into LA, tidal waves into New York, and generally cause a bunch of mayhem for all those dorks that live in major urban areas. Abandoning hope of a decent flick only a few minutes into the film, we "Mystery Science Theatre'd" a good portion of the movie and it was quite enjoyable. If you don't take someone with a decent sense of humor with you on this one, you're lost, and doomed to watching a two hour long MoveOn.org show.
The vice president, who bared a striking resemblance to Dick Cheney was sworn in on the death of the President (who you don't get to see very much, but bears a striking resemblance in character to what liberals portray Bush as.) At the end of the movie, he's bearing his soul to the nation on television about how wrong he was regarding pollution, and they all but ended it with the trademark black screen and "MoveOn.org." You could hear the applause of flippers and echoes of dolphin cheering all around the theatre, and then they walked out to their electric cars and drove home to make more hemp clothing.
This movie certainly gets Two Flippers Up.
Jeff C.
Of Chicken and Men...
The fact that I didn't burn with only the aid of SPF 8 sunscreen is not the only amazing thing that happened in Six Flags yesterday. I rode more roller-coasters in one day than I had ever been on before in my entire life. Given my incongruent (maybe it's the right word here) fear of heights, it was quite a feat in and of itself. A day of constant G-pulling action that was only interupted by lunch, a short nap, and emergency surgery by yours truly on Presidential hopeful John F'ing Kerry left me so tired that I could probably have slept right there at the front gate. I got better sleep on the bus ride home than I have in the entire preceeding week.
As for my refusal to even consider riding the Superman Tower of Power, I may be a chicken, but at least I didn't barf in an airplane on a relatively calm day ;) Regardless of who called who whom and/or what, it was more stupid fun than watching a dog with poor balance wearing roller skates, and certainly more exciting than an acre of snakes.
Cluck cluck,
Jeff C.
Thursday, May 27, 2004
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So let it be written... so let it be done.
Due to the relatively boring details of my mundane life, I am forced to make great mountains out of molehills in an effort to find something to blog about. Today is certainly no exception as I sit festering in my chair staring all too much at my computer screen. We've got a new vehicle in town, and she's a keeper.
As many of you know, many of the writers on this particular blog work for a technology department of a to be unnamed company. We usually commandeer the band truck to use as our TECH "Swat Van." It works well, it's large, inefficient, handles like a convenient store, and oh so cool. It was the cat's meow, that is until "Non-descript white van" came to town. Yes folks, "Non-descript white van" or (NDWV) is just as sluggish as the swat van, but has a working air conditioner, a semi-working radio, and is a non-descript white van. It has a crappy interior, is poorly out of alignment, and the doors often stick. This thing is as crusty as it can get without being military surplus.
NDWV is of a type used for surveillance and stakeout work, hence the non-descriptness. This is not to be confused with a "Molester Van" which is one in which the windows are blacked out, or a "Terrorist Van" which is really just a Volkswagen microbus (reference to movie Back To The Future.) And certainly not a hippie van (we don't allow tree hugging, dolphin riders in this town.) So make sure you keep a lookout for NDWV, but you'll probably have to look really hard, it being non-descript and all.
Oh, and one for Eric: "I CAN FIX IT! I CAN FIX IT!"
Jeff C.
I'd hit it
The Diet...she does hurt me...
AS I continue to run the diet gauntlet, I must find the foods that will surpress the hunger. I just had this salad:
and it sucked worst than the Al Gore, Moveon.org acceptance speech for Big FaG Liberal Dolphin Rider of the Year.
Veer away from that Salad. It should be called the Grilled Chicken Big Tub of Nasty Shit Salad.
manteca
 This is a the TRUE Face of Hatred for America!
The former vice president is the most disgusting, arrogant, rude, malicious person on the face of the planet. He uses his former position as vice president and his supposed intelligence to degrade and humiliate the office of president, and the government of the United States of America. Al Gore is no more than a Saturday morning cartoon villain. His ridiculous rants and imaginative remarks about President Bush are no more important to the history of this country than the invention of the septic tank. I think it is funny how Al Gore, the Democratic Party, and the tree hugging' liberals of this country continually lay blame on the president. The president and the government are nothing more than a reflection of the country that they serve. How dare the rat bastard say: "George W. Bush promised us a foreign policy with humility. Instead, he has brought us humiliation in the eyes of the world." Al Gore humiliation for this country is you my friend. You who believe fantasy movies about weather phenomenon, you who "created" the internet, you who has no respect for the office of president (that is unless it was filled by a philandering, adulterous, lying sleazebag) and who in turn have no respect for the government of the greatest country in the world. Al Gore, you are the reason this country has troubles. I call for your resignation. You are nobody, your fifteen minutes are up and we are tired of wild eyed poop. Go home and write your memoirs.
Wednesday, May 26, 2004
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What time is it?
Eight and a half hours in a plane, four thousand miles, and five time zones later I'm still not sure what's going on. I got stuck near the front of a full Boeing 767-400ER (2x3x2 seating) stuck near a window with no less than four agitated children in the immediate vicinity. What a way to end a vacation. Absolutely spectacular weather, beautiful scenery, and then I'm packaged up like a sardine and sent blasting through the stratosphere in a pressurized metal tube at 550 miles per hour. When you really think about it, it really doesn't make that much sense. Seriously, you're stuck in a tube five miles above terra firma going insane speeds in an environment that would give you no more than two minutes of useful consciousness should the cabin's integrity become compromised. (All that, and they get paid too!)
The really neat thing about the flight back was that it was the Captain's retirement flight. Upon arriving on the ground in Salt Lake City, we were met on the taxiway by four police cars that escorted us to the gate through the "washdown." The washdown is basically a water salute given to retiring airline pilots by airport firetrucks. As we taxied by, the trucks sprayed jets of water over the entire plane. Quite a site. We parked, and that was it, a chapter of his life consisting of 31 years had just come to a close. We stopped by the cockpit on the way out and thanked him for a safe flight and wished him well. I wondered on the way out, what one does with that much free time and a 150,000 dollar a year pension. Maybe one day I'll find out...
As for the site, love the dotcom, and I'm hoping that Josh does something to make this new layout mac compatible. I think it's time for bed... I think.
Jeff C.
Hard Posting
Posting has become harder here lately, because im in the same room as most of the convoginators. I guess ill start talking about them behind their back, right in front of them. Anyways, this job is awesome....its no BP gas station. At the BP gas station, i had all the freedom in the world. I worked in one room for 5-8 hrs, and had no breaks, my lungs were filled with second hand smoke, and i didnt get to take any breaks, but the one thing that made it all OK was the free food. Can you say Crispito. No really, crispitos are awesome. I actually wished for death every boring minute of the BP work day. Not really death, but at least a gunshot wound, well... maybe a poisonous snake bite.... well maybe not poisonous, but a chicken snake with bacteria in its mouth.... take that back, a chicken snake that has fresh breath. There, its settled, i would rather get bit by a non poisonous, clean mouthed chicken snake, than work at the BP gas station.
Tuesday, May 25, 2004
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I learned a new trick...
Can you believe it??? I lose some weight, take a few classes, and Sting has nothing on me. I have been attending a Tantric Yoga/Gym class for approximately 3 weeks and have learned to do several tricks.
 Yes....That's me doing that cool move!!
ok...not really, but why would you want to smell the floor that way??
manteca
Monday, May 24, 2004
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New Site Design
USe the White arrows at the left. They will take you through the posts. Let us know what you think about the new look.
manteca
The Great...Director!?!?!
"It's a pretty prize...but it ain't cake!!! Oh how I wish it was cake! Actually, I would settle for
a biscuit...with cheese...and some ham... I'm hungry...and it's all George Bush's fault!"
We all need to laugh...
I have noticed that when the good capn' isn't instigating the brew ha ha, then nothing gets written. Well, I am here to tell you that I can laugh without the verbal prodding of the "giver of flight." Actually, I am not a funny person. I use to be fat. Luckily, I am slowly taking care of that problem. There are many things that happen in my life that are very funny, at least to me, I am just very confused and actually too stupid to know how to articulate them on this here blog. I think that is why I have recruited the list of convoginators like Paul, Jeff and Matthew (Eric when he doesn't use penis) to help make this site enjoyable. Once again, I am not funny! I am taking a few workshops over the summer from several funny people. So let's see what happens at the end of the summer. I hopefully will be funnier.
manteca
Sunday, May 23, 2004
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Convogination, Hawaiin style...
I leave for just a few days, and this place just goes south in a handbasket... shame people... shame...
I'm fed up with Hawaians, they use way too many vowels in day-to-day speech. Just the opposite of Germans, who don't seem to use enough. When I get back, this place better be funny again...
My body still doesn't know what time it is.
Jeff C.
Wednesday, May 19, 2004
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The 50th state...
I'll be leaving tomorrow for a week in Hawaii... when I get back there had better be some funny stuff on here. Oh, and I hope the Japanese don't attack again while I'm there.
Jeff C.
P.S. Matt, you might as well just pay up now.
1 week and the SPR (Stategic Petroleum Reserves) are getting full.
Last night at midnight was 7 days into the jerk contest. How is everyone doing? Since the Cap'n and me have no life, I am sure that we are still in it. Post your close calls, failures or triumphs into the tag board and work up the juices.
Tuesday, May 18, 2004
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Learn to fly here...
I just finished one of the longest days of my short life. At least my trip wasn't in vain... Anyone need some flight instruction?
Jeff C., CFI
Buy and Buy now!!!
The online shop is up and running. Go an get your Convoginator's merchandise. Graphics have been approved an uploaded.
manteca
p.s. - those are tiger striped spandex for you information!
Nice Poems...fruits!
Fruit fruit, I like fruit
gay gay gay gay
look the bird it soars in the blue sky
fly birdie fly
fly like an eagle...to the sea
some people call me Maurice
I am a tree!
I like poems!
manteca
p.s. - could we get any more homo with the poems and the sentimental waxing about poop...
Monday, May 17, 2004
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Nirvana...
Occasionally, I forget why I'm even here. I spend so much time worrying about checkrides, work, class, political problems, and my own insignificant life that I often fail to remember what I'm here for. I aviated this evening, and it was one of those spiritual experiences that other people always seem to be talking about. I've had experiences like this before, but it's been quite a while. The air was smooth, the visibility incredible, and there didn't seem to be another soul within 50 miles. I took off intending to practice some maneuvers in preparation for tomorrow's checkride, but after just a few I abandoned the idea. I haven't flown just to fly for a long time. I've always been going somewhere, having to do something, trying to finish a lesson... this time it was just me and the airplane. A greater feeling of freedom you may never experience in your entire life. I turned and climbed and and made large lazy eights across the sky, I went where ever I fancied, I maneuvered on a whim, and I danced with angels on silver-lined clouds. When I saw the sunset from 6,000 feet, I found peace. All of my problems, along with everyone else was a mile below me, and life was perfect, if only for a few minutes. I still find it hard to believe that they pay people to do this... and I can't for the life of me understand how someone could see such a sight and not know without a shadow of a doubt that there is a just and loving God.
Sorry to get all philosophical, I need to go hit the books now. Oh, and here's a little something so Eric won't throw a hissy fit: "Convoginator's Eric Thong Underwear."
Jeff C.
A letter from a Soldier in Iraq
A squadron of planes have bomed the US?
Can you imagine a day when a squadron of planes enter into American airspace and attack a costal city like Santa Cruz or New York? What about a fleet of ships bomb Anaheim or Cape Cod? What about a Submarine nuking Boston or San Diego? It is hard to imagine.
We have used amazing equipment in the Iraq War. Take for example an incredible technology inherent to the Abrams Fighting Machine. It has charges built inside of the shell all around the interior of the tank. When an RPG hits a section of the armor, a charge in the interior will immediately explode in an instant to counter act the blow from outside reducing the chance of harm done to tank and ultimately done to the brave soldiers inside. My cousin was in a Abrams squad on the front lines of the beginning of Iragi Freedom. The Abrams has been ready to use for about 5 to 6 years. It is beyond anything that world has except for what the Israelis have or some secret Chinese tank.
I only speak of this capabilty to illustrate a point: The Abrams was used as a front line armor solution to weed out other armor for infantry to step up to the next phase of the war, and it is 'old' tech and was used as offensive means of armor penetration. We have no idea what our defensive measure are for American soil. I am not a military genius by any step of the imagination, but the way that I see it is this: it highly improbable for any large scale offensive to suceed against the US as the world turns today unless China sends 2,000 planes, 100 ships, and 50 subs. But if China did take these steps, we would send missle upon missle and plane upon plane to counter this attempt. Basically, it is impossilbe for it to succeed with all the counter measures that we don't know about and satellites watching every move that every country makes.
I say all the above to state this: Terrorism is very important. It is our weakness along with every other democratic loving country.
The war against terrorism could shape the 21st Century in the same way as the Cold War defined the world before the fall of the Berlin Wall. To win, we must first clearly understand what we are up against. I am grateful to the Council on Foreign Relations for the opportunity to share my views on this important subject.
Terrorism is a generic term. Terrorist organisations such as the Tamil Tigers in Sri Lanka or ETA in Spain are only of local concern. The virulent strain of Islamic terrorism is another matter altogether. It is driven by religion. Its ideological vision is global. It is most dangerous. The communists fought to live whereas the jihadi terrorists fight to die, and live in the next world. . . .
But the threat remains. It stems from a religious ideology that is infused with an implacable hostility to all secular governments, especially the West, and in particular the US. Their followers want to recreate the Islam of 7th Century Arabia which they regard as the golden age. Their ultimate goal is to bring about a Caliphate linking all Muslim communities. Their means is jihad which they narrowly define as a holy war against all non-Muslims whom they call "infidels".
-Prime Minister Goh Chok Tong of Singapore
Terrorism has to be dealt with.
Here is Blog titled "Not in My City" by an Iraqi tht you will find VERY interesting. Read the whole thing. It also proves the point that we are not getting everything that happens in Iraq in our current partisan media
Here is an honest and revealing exceprt:
On the road to the residents’ house we passed near the coalition base in Samawa; the striking and ugly feature of this base, like any other one is, the concrete wall that surrounds it. These walls initiate a sensation of fear in the hearts and a feeling that there’s a huge block between the people and the coalition. I understand the security necessity of these walls but they still form an unpleasant sight for everyone, except this particular one. The coalition forces here invited all the kids-and their parents-in the neighborhood for a special festival, the kids were given paints and brushes and a definite area of the wall was assigned for each kid to paint on whatever he likes and to sign his painting with his/her name. I leave it for you to imagine how this hateful wall looked like after this festival. It became a fascinating huge painting that gives a feeling of brotherhood and friendship. These paintings eliminated all the psychological walls between the folks and the coalition here.
At the end of the festival, gifts were given to each kid; toys, clothes, candies…
You can’t imagine how happy the kids were when they stood proudly pointing at their paintings; flowers, birds, hands shaking and the flags of Iraq and the coalition countries, and then pointing to their names; Zahra, Mohammed, Sajjad, Fatima… together with phrases like; yes for peace, Saddam has fallen and many others. No one can watch this without having tears filling his eyes and I feel sorry that I couldn’t take pictures for this carnival, as I wasn’t there when it happened, but the people there told me the whole story.
Convogi-store...
Props to manteca on the creation of the Convoginators Store, but we seriously need a better tee shirt design than that. I could make my own with this sharpie right here and a $5.00 shirt from the worst place on earth (Wal-Mart).
Personally, I vote we unleash Josh or Berno on this task, as both are well qualified to design a nice looking shirt. You two can ro-sham-bo for the honor, or just scrap, or something. I should probably get back to studying...
Jeff C.
Campaign Finance Reform and Hollywood...
Long post but pertinent.
Campaign Finance Reform is the biggest speech stiffler ever in American History. There are some good things about this bill but ther are some really bad things about it.
Critics of the current campaign finance system fear that the growing amount of money pouring into elections is having a corrupting influence on politics. The more money that is involved in running for office, critics say, the more influence that donors – wealthy individuals, companies, labor unions, interest groups – have over elected officials and public policy.
-Excerpt of New York Times Article
As part of their campaign finance reform efforts, Senator McCain and his liberal Democratic colleague Sen. Russ Feingold have been adamant in their demands that Congress make it illegal for individuals or groups to purchase radio or television ads that use the name or likeness of a federal candidate within 60 days of an election. This, in the land of the free. Thus, Cato Board member Howie Rich, head of U.S. Term Limits, would be committing a crime if he ran a TV ad stating, for instance, that George Nethercutt broke his word about serving no more than six years in the House of Representatives. The same would be true for tax, environmental, or any other groups attempting to inform the voters.
-Ed Crane, Presisdent of Cato Institute
Basically the media has more rights then we do. This is bad.
While non-profit organizations remain muzzled by campaign finance rules, Hollywood is free to shoot its mouth off.
Tinseltown isn’t expressing itself with conventional campaign advertising. No, it’s doing it with agenda-driven movies.
In addition to Michael Moore’s “Fahrenheit 9/11: The Temperature When Freedom Burns,” a bunch of other Bush-bashing films are due to arrive in multiplexes soon.
In last week’s Left Coast Report, I wrote about Hollywood’s unprecedented interest in Richard Clarke's book “Against All Enemies,” which led to a deal with Sony. Although it’s unlikely that the flick will be ready in time for this year’s election, who knows, Tinseltown might be able to work some of its leftist magic.
Another attempt to bypass the regs and exert influence is the upcoming piece of propaganda called “The Hunting of the President,” a celluloid presentation of the book with the same name. It’s about Hillary Clinton’s "vast right-wing conspiracy" theory and the lefty explanation for Willie’s impeachment. Hollywood Clintonista Harry Thomason is producing the handy little election-season contribution to DNC.
Then there’s “Silver City,” a movie in which the central character is a born-again Christian who’s part of a prominent Republican family. The character just happens to struggle with verbal fluency. The movie’s director, John Sayles, acknowledges that the protagonist of the flick is modeled after the prez. Also on the Hollywood campaign agenda is a “documentary” recently screened at the South by Southwest Film Festival. It’s based on the book “Bush’s Brain.” The thing is a less-than-flattering account of the relationship between the president and his chief political adviser, Karl Rove.
The Left Coast Report is dreaming of a big ol’ red states’ box-office mutiny with no bounty.
-James Hirson, News Max
Do you see what is happening? We will now have the richer and the more powerful pining for our allegiance. Debate will now reside in the News, Rush Limbaugh, film and movies, and TV sitcom and melodramas for the 60 days before the election. Keep your eyes open for some crazy stuff the last two months before this election. It will be nothing like we have ever seen in a presidential election.
Other evils of Finance Reform later on...
Movie premiere at Cannes
I can't wait to see Michael Moore's new movie "I'm a fat man who needs to diet and get a life whilst bowling in Iraq...for columbine."
"I must find a way to get other fat, angry people to hate America and everything that it stands for. Except for all the stuff that I like you know, like food, my freedom of speech, money, food and food...did I already say food?"
an actor protraying Michael Moore
Looks like we got ourselves a convoy...
After a six hour drive, I'm face to face with exactly what I wanted to run away from last week: Stillwater. I've been here less than six hours and I'm already bored. It's alright though, one day of studying, one day of checkride, and one-half day of driving are all that separate me from the place of home cooked meals and cultural mecca that is Hope.
Avgas jumped up 20 cents per gallon, and is slated for another, equal increase here in a few weeks. It won't surprise me to see it top $3.00 a gallon for 100LL here before the summer is over. Maybe if we just renamed Iraq to "New Texas" or "Exxon" then we could start telling OPEC where to go. In the meantime, I'm glad I lease airplanes wet (fuel included), and drive a car with pretty good gas mileage. I only need to pay for gas until I get the bugs worked out of my "Mr. Fusion" that I made out of an old popcorn maker, some pinball parts, and a live chicken.
To top it all off, I left my glasses in Hope, so I can barely read what I'm typing here. Maybe I shouldn't have taken my contacts out yet...
Eric, stop instigating.
Jeff C.
Sunday, May 16, 2004
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The Switch
Ok....
The convoginators has uncovered what i like to call internet awkwardness. So me being myself, an going to be an insensitive dick and say something... Jeff posted a few posts about a date he was to have, and then tim posted saying he was glad that the date went well... i just wanted to verify that yall SWITCHED GIRLFRIENDS and its kinda weird.
ok.. sorry, i just had to get that out
Saturday, May 15, 2004
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A face that could launch 1,000 ships...
This was the first Saturday night in quite a while that I did anything more interesting than shuttling inebriated, underage friends back to their places of dwelling. Quite a refreshing change too, I might add. Good food, a pretty good movie, and impeccable company made for quite an enjoyable evening. The evening culminated with a successful demonstration of a Toyota Corolla's off-roading capabilities through and over a ditch and culvert (respectively), but hey, what's a good first date without an embarrassing debacle. The car sucked it up and took it like a man... or machine... eitherway it performed when needed and didn't complain.
As for the movie, like the critics, I'll give it pretty good reviews. You've got to be on your toes to make sure you understand the entire plot, and the action scenes are just too confusing to even contemplate. How did people know who they were even fighting back then? Anyway, some cool special effects, good acting, and a good plot (Thanks, Homer). Somehow, I pictured the Trojan Horse being a lot bigger though. It would also have been much cooler as a large, wooden badger.
Unfortunately, I've got to drive BACK to Stillwater tomorrow in preparation for a CFI checkride on Tuesday. At least I get to come back home Wednesday. Oh, and sorry I missed the party at the Wolf estate.
Thanks for the company.
Jeff C.
Friday, May 14, 2004
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Happy Graduation!
I must say, the powers-that-be managed to crank out one nice, quick graduation. I ran into a lot of old friends, but didn't get enough of an opportunity to talk to everyone I wanted to. Mostly, I was afraid of being referred to as "The schmuck that wore shorts to a graduation ceremony." I also completely forgot Farsheshe's real name and it's taken me until now to remember it...
P's back in town and livelier than ever. Also pleasing to me to hear that he's "out." of the contest. That money is gonna be mine before too long now... It's apparently down to Matthew and Me.
Anyway, I digress, Congrats to the valedictorians: Seashell and Cara. Also a big convoginators congrats to Josh and Berno. If I missed any of our "fans" then just call me bad names on the tagboard.
tomorrow's looking good,
Jeff C.
The hazards of dial-up...
Hi, my name's Jeff, and I'm an internet addict. I'm used to my lovely broadband cable service back in Stillwater, but my house in Arkansas is just far enough out in the sticks to prevent any such luxury. (Eric can sympathize with me here) Instead of 1.5mb+ speeds, I'm stuck somewhere in the 42k range now. It's embarrassing. I've started going downtown to a certain place of employment to check my email and get my drudge, foxnews, and tonguetied.us news. Something's got to change here. Manteca, could we run fiber out to the neighborhood for our first project this summer? We could probably stop at my house and send it wireless to Eric. Then, we need to buy everyone in "the department" a small, electric scooter... I'm sure we've got the budget, you should get right on that...
Well, I watched four hours of history channel this morning, and I'm about to go nuts to get out of this house. I think I'll head on down to graduation and see what all the fuss is about. I might just see some folks there... (I assume that P, Eric, and some of our fans will be there... I hope I don't have to look presentable.)
Jeff C.
P.S. Paul, I'm not one to indulge in libations, but I'll certainly drive your inebriated posterior around should you need it...
Thursday, May 13, 2004
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Tagboard Antics...
Well, Matt has just upped the ante should the contest proceed past one month. It is quite possible that the prize could get even bigger by the end of summer. Everyone seems to be filled with resolve, and everyone seems to want the money (hey, that's a free hour of flight time for me!) This is gonna take a while...
As for the tagboard, let's do away with the anonymity folks. The antics can stop, and let's try to keep it clean.
Jeff C.
P.S. Looks like I've got a date Saturday night. Hope might not be so boring afterall...
Two Days and counting
Well, it has been two days and I am hoping everyone is still in the game. I hope that you guys realize that I am going to win because I have a big... will. We will se if you tiny brains can keep up. Post all the picks that you want. They can not budge this bulge. Well, enough with the toilet humor. I just wanted to say that if it reaches a month then it will be upped to a 100 dollars. This is prolly the first time in my life that i am glad that I don't have or want to find a girlfriend. In actuality I am hoping that this will bite me in the butt like the 'ol wash the car and then it rains deal.Just as soon as I make it a week some young beautiful women comes into my life demanding some lovin'. In reality I bought a motorcycle to hump.
Wednesday, May 12, 2004
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Just to keep the juices flowin'...
Since I am not involved in this "competition," I felt it was my duty to make it hard for you boys to win. So, here is a wonderful picture to help keep you "up" at night.
manteca
Tuesday, May 11, 2004
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Paul usurps Matt...
Wow, P. You've already resorted to playing dirty... do you need the cash that bad?
I got home in time to catch the news this afternoon, and witness the brutality of Al Qaeda (though thankfully not the entire act) and I couldn't help but be reminded of the song "Russian's" by Sting. I was mad at first, but the more I thought about it, the more I have to wonder what it is about such a culture that would allow them to do such a horrific act. The line that caught me most, "I hope the Russians love their children too..." The Russians did, but what about these characters? These are the same extremists who send their children into crowded buses wearing Tovex jackets. The same people that encourage their children to throw rocks at soldiers, and fill them with hatred for their fellow man. I'm a pretty staunch Republican, folks, but I'm beginning to contemplate the phrase "winnable war." I'm just not sure that you can reason with certain people. If we could develop a cheap, alternative energy source that would still be as cool (in terms or noise and smoke) as oil, then I'd be all for isolationism for a while. Let the world beat up on themselves for a little while if they want to, and we'd just sit tight being fat, dumb, and happy secure in our borders behind the greatest military in the world. Unfortunately, that's just wishful thinking, it would never work...
Anyway, I'm home, I'm still bored, but I'm well fed. Congrats to the seniors that got scholarships, congrats to those who maybe should have, and props to P for staying strong. I have a feeling this is gonna take a while...
contemplating "the good ol' days,"
Jeff C.
Thwarted Once Again...
My checkride was once again thwarted by weather... I'm rescheduling and driving to Hope today... I also found out that we're going to Hawaii in a few weeks... I like elipses...
Homeward bound...
Jeff C.
Monday, May 10, 2004
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No title...
And just like that, Matt slapped a TV-MA sticker on this beast.
I also discovered a rather fun and innovative way to return the favor to people sending you junk mail.
1. Start collecting all the credit card applications mailed to you
2. Start collecting all the coupons mailed to you (keep in separate pile)
3. Stuff coupons into the credit card application business reply envelopes and mail.
You have effectively used their own postage to send them coupons you did not wish to receive. In effect, you are getting to send junk mail to the junk mailers.
4. Sit back and wait for the phone calls to start... "Mr. Claybrook, we're calling in response to your mailed pizza coupons..."
Jeff C.
And they are off (No Pun Intended)
Now i know that i said that we would start the contest today, but i was sick last night and today and didn't get to post the "Gun Shot." So we are going to start at midnight tonight.
So here it is:
Be honest.
"BANG!"
Sunday, May 09, 2004
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Thwarted by Blogger...
I came to post, but was thwarted by blogger earlier this afternoon. Nevertheless, I have nothing interesting to say. I'm just blogging for the heck of it, who would've known that it would be this addictive.
My boredom gave way once again to thought, and my thoughts turned once again to the problems of the world, and I'm pretty sure I could solve most of the world's problems with a slinky, three eggs over-easy, and one billion dollars. Never in the history of mankind has someone attempted to stop hunger, famine, poverty, violence, and liberalism with such tools, and I think I should be allowed to at least try. In the spirit of this, I'm soliciting donations for the above items. If you can spare any or all of the items listed above, please let me know, and I'll lie and tell you that it's tax deductible.
Some of you may be wondering what I could possibly do with such a list that could possibly even make a dent in the problems of the world... well let me tell you:
Slinky - Everyone loves a slinky. They amuse me and the neighbors cat alike. Squirrels bear a faint resemblance to felinus domesticus, and therefore I deduce with no scientific experimenting whatsoever that slinky's will entice them at least as much as the cat. The squirrels could be lured to a centralized location and captured for export to starving countries. Squirrels are an excellent source of protein. Manteca is sure to support this innovative solution, as it removes some of the critters that torment him the most. We will still have squirrels, just not the evil ones that like slinky's.
Three Eggs, Over-Easy - I'm a little hungry, and this just seems like it would hit the spot.
One Billion Dollars - If I had a billion dollars, the first thing I would do after hiring the best accountant/lawyer available would be to buy a helicopter. Think about it, I could stop sitting behind idiots at stop lights that don't understand that you can go right on red. The second thing I would do is start a newspaper column where people write in asking for money to solve their problems, and I'd get to decide whether or not I wanted to give them money and write them back:
Dear Cap'n Jeff,
I really like animals, and I want to do everything I can to help them. If you would send me some money, I would send it in your honor to PETA so that evil people can never kill another animal again.
Sincerely,
Liberal Idiot
---------------------------------------------------
Dear Liberal Idiot,
I'm sorry, but I can't understand for the life of me why you would hold such a warped view on reality. Instead of sending you money, which you would likely spend on Tofu, astrological posters, and worst of all: your intended cause, I thought I'd send the money elsewhere. The National Rifle Association and Republican Party would like to thank you for your charitable donation in my name.
Have a day,
Cap'n Jeff
Man, that would be awesome. I'd probably be bankrupt in less than a year. Helicopters are expensive, and if I sent a bunch of money to the RNC, NRA, AOPA, and Gideon's every time someone sent me a letter asking for money for some liberal cause, I'd run out rather quickly I imagine. How would this be solving the world's problems you might ask? First of all, I would be fed, not have to sit behind idiots at a stoplight, and entertained for quite some time by writing letters to liberals informing them where I sent the money they wanted. Most of my problems are solved, and as for the rest of the world, some people are eating evil squirrels, and well... that's pretty good isn't it? I said I'd try, I didn't say it was a sure-fire bet...
Off to cook some eggs,
Jeff C.
Saturday, May 08, 2004
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Post the Third...
I'm taking a short break from the King CFI Checkride Course DVD, and I returned to the blog to see some more of Eric's incessant whining about politics. You may notice, Eric, that the top of the page has a description of the convoginators (Those who stir the milk to make it brown), and "Changing the world, one liberal at a time..." So you see, politics is a sanctioned subject, and it is apparently what the fan(s) want. I'm just giving the fine folks on the tagboard what they request, because I know that without them, it would just be the convoginators themselves reading this... kind of like the beginning. Have you forgotten what got us here? No Loafing!
Don't badmouth our readers, unless they're whiny, pussy, liberals...
Now, off to the aerodrome,
Jeff C.
Another Blaaa day
I know how you feel jeff. Its funny, when your super busy and you have tests all the time and work and this and that, all you want to do is nothing, but when you dont have anything to do, and plenty of time to do nothing with, all you want is something to do. "Tis a Fair Court".... that gives me an idea, we need to start having pop trivia and assorted questions. From what movie was that quote from. Im sure the people that post in the side bar will more than likely answer these before we get a chance to post about them, but itll still be fun. (and yes, i know thats an easy one) It looks like i wont have to be bored to much longer b/c i may get to start working next week. I wonder how having most of the convoginators together this summer will affect our posts? I have a feeling there will be quite a few inside jokes. Paul you have a dirty mouth.... Geez. I think my dad reads this thing now, so paul you need to tone down the F ing. Yes Yes i know, im gay, im gay. Anyways, politics is gay and there is nothing you can do about it. The more you know the more pissed off you get, so just CHILL. And chelsea you need to stop instigating! I "taped" the last friends and im about to watch it, It boggles my mind to think about just how much money that group has. Just from that show alone they have EACH made 80 million dollars, and its said that they're each going to make 50 million in royalties in the next 10 years. That would be so awesome. Which brings me to another point. David Schwimmer is a douche`. He is such a homo. All he ever talks about is how he doesnt want to be known as Ross his whole life... but i guess the thing he hasnt figured out is that HE IS ROSS, he will always be Ross, there is no getting around it. And he complains about how their isnt much funding in the world of arts, while he lives in a 10 million dollar house. WTF MATE?!
Continuing the Myriad of Posts...
This woman needs serious help. What could possibly posses someone to live with 200 of anything, much less some rather creepy animals, insects, and spiders. Ok, the alligator, I can understand, they are pretty neat, and you could all but say goodbye to annoying door-to-door salesmen. Plus walking it in the park would be a great way to meet chicks. But I'm quite certain that I would scream like a little girl and grab the nearest heavy, blunt object should a scorpion invade my domicile. Snakes? Forget about it, police would respond to sporadic gunfire erupting from my residence. I can tolerate most animals, but the ones I can't should honestly learn to stay as far away from me as possible. Snakes especially... they remind me too much of lawyers.
The most interesting part of this article is not the fact that she lived with a menagerie, but the fact that she fed them roadkill. Don't you get a little suspicious when you see some woman on the side of the road scooping dead armadillos into the trunk of her Ford Sportka? The neighbors couldn't stand the smell... the real question is, how did she?
Off to Wal-Mart,
Jeff C.
"I'd have known about it earlier..."
When condemning President George Bush for failing to know about the torture taking place in the Iraqi prison, Kerry claimed, "I'd have known about it sooner." Wow. That has to be one of the most childish remarks I think I have ever heard in a Presidential race. Except when H. Ross Perot exclaimed during one debate, "My Daddy can beat up your daddy!"
Vote for Kerry, and Saturday Night Live will probably be funnier...
Jeff C.
Iraq is like Vietnam...
We have it all wrong. Iraq is Vietnam. And the Democrats have been warning us about it all along. It is Vietnam because, one, like in Vietnam, we are winning the war, even though the Democrats tell us we're not. Number two, like in Vietnam, the Iraqis want freedom, even though the Democrats tell us they don't. Number three, like in Vietnam, the Democrats are using the media to fight the war for the enemy. Number four, like in Vietnam, the war can be won even though Democrats tell us it can't. Number five, like in Vietnam, the Democrats use the media and the election to cripple the military command. Number six, like in Vietnam, the Democrats are trying to turn the country against our military.
-Emailer to Rush
One Question: Who was right about the Communists and the Cold War against Soviet Union?
And another thing. If I am going to be "tortured" let Americans do it. I can deal with the being naked with panties on my head. I am not sure that I would like my fingers cut off or my knees bent inward. This is war and Dems are going to wish that they didn't open this can. This is going to come back and bite them.
Vote Democratic if you want more taxes, bigger brother, less school choice, and to keep the welfare and the social security system intact. Vote Kerry!
Friday, May 07, 2004
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Another Spring Break is on the way...
Prepare thyselves for a myriad of posts courtesy of yours truly. I should be studying, but I don't want to. I should be washing some clothes, but I don't feel like it. I should be cleaning some dishes, but I just won't. What will I do you ask? (or probably not, but humor me otherwise the transition wouldn't work as well.) I think I'm gonna throw in my copy of Harvey. There's just something about Jimmy Stewart that's just... cool.
More posts coming, I may yet top my old record.
Jeff C.
Finals Finally Finshed Following Friday Free-For-All...
That has to be one of the most imaginative titles I've ever come up with... yeah, I know it's sad.
Following an early-morning pushover of an examination, I have completed my sixth semester in this haven of higher learning. I sold back whatever text books they would take and I have 54 dollars cash in my pocket. There's just something about such a horrible resale value that pisses you off. Especially the books that you hardly ever opened or the one still in the shrink wrapping. All I know is, I'm done with Gen-Ed, I've got a rather easy semester left to go, and I'm getting to the point that I can actually make something out of my life. While the return-on-investment of my education may yet be several years into the future, I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel, even though it's not quite here yet.
What's the point of my narcissistic, nostalgic rant you might ask. Boredom. Yes folks, everyone has left town, and I'm bored.
Jeff C.
It's not a blur for me...
Four finals down, one more, and a checkride and I'm returning to the cultural mecca that is Hope, AR. I desperately need a change of scenery. Paul? Are you coming home sometime this summer? I'm going to be bored off my proverbial posterior after work, so some of you dorks better be in town. If not, I'll be forced to watch an unhealthy amount of television... probably consisting of the History Channel, with a little bit of Fox News, and maybe that Trading Spaces show. It's fun to watch people hate their new rooms... Well, I've got a final exam in less than nine hours, so I'm off to bed... I wonder what's on this test tomorrow...errr today...
Jeff C.
Wednesday, May 05, 2004
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My life, and welcome to it...
I was bored, and feeling a little nostalgic this afternoon, so I went surfing through the archives of convogination for a few quick laughs. I had completely forgotten about the time that you guys accused me of being in cahoots with Stalin. Or the time that I screwed up Jell-o.
Lots of fun convogi-memories. Off to bed, I've got two finals tomorrow.
Now, about my trashcans...
Jeff C.
My List of Band Memories...
9th Grade: Drum Major: Tiffany Key. Show: The Wizard of Oz. My Goal: To be "cool" like my brother. Basically that meant that I spent the year hating band and almost everything it stood for. My secondary goal was not to get Kyle Finley pissed off at me because I knew that he had it in him to beat me up. I was the podium bitch, and back in my day it was twelve miles to the practice field and uphill both ways. There was usually waist-deep snow and was over 110 degrees outside. We had "The Beast" and us poor freshman also had to push that large monstrosity around. The band made Ms. McKinney cry several times, and Patrick Faircloth joined the ranks.
10th Grade: Drum Major(s): Tori something and Susan Thompson. Show: Superman. My Goal: Not to be like my brother. He was leaving and I couldn't find any willing disciples to take on the duty of hating the band. Well, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. So I started actually showing up and caring. It's amazing what this will do for you. Towards the end of the year, I turned 16, got a truck and a job that I absolutely hated. Rob graduated much to the delight of the directors. Mrs. Madlock had tears of joy running down her face. Quite emotional... That summer I attended the MASH camp and it spawned my "Dr* C" nickname... (which, to some strange and unrelated coincidence is what my friends up here call me now.) The bandhall was about to be renovated, and I watched Manteca drive golfballs into the old paneling in the main room. Somehow we made Faircloth leave for a better job with better pay.
11th Grade: Drum Major: DeAndre Palmer (a.k.a. Dr. Jazz) Show: Jazz, but I'm too white. My Goal: To terrorize the saxophone section. I got an office in the bandhall. Eric wanted to piss me off, and I was starting to get an early case of senioritis. During one pep rally, Eric pissed off Manteca and he came charging up through the stands to yell at him. I swear that he was going to kill him, but then he fell halfway up and lost some steam. Now Eric was just going to get pummelled. Then he fell again right on top of me. Eric got lucky. Manteca just propped himself up on both Sid and my heads and started a tongue lashing so severe that it made me laugh when I probably shouldn't have. Good times. I was appointed "loading overlord" and the freshman started to hate me even more (Eric). I quit my terrible job. I join jazz band and soon realize that I have no actual musical talent whatsoever. Regardless, it was a stupid good time and usually some free food at the gigs. How could I help myself? That summer I went to Governor's School with Paul and had one of the stupidest good times of my life. If figured out that I wanted to fly for a living.
12th Grade: Drum Major: Myself (a.k.a. Dr. C*, The White Guy, or The Guy Eric pissed off) Show: The Beatles. My Goal: To have the best damn senior year ever. My enemies were Eric and his cronies, and almost the whole of the clarinet section. Went to Murfreesboro, TN with Manteca, Mrs. Madlock, Arla, and some other chick I didn't know. Watched drum corp, wet my pants, and actually started to love marching band. I developed a rather rudimentary understanding of time, but soon learned that it really didn't matter since no one watched me anyway except Paul, Eric, Tim, and Ray, and they all had better time than me. Jamie coined the phrase "Groove Juice." We went to camp, and it was miserable. I spent most of the afternoon "sectionals" time sitting in the air conditioned cabin eating flavored ice before returning to yell some more at the peons. One day on the field Manteca got pissed at the band and started to throw things from the podium. I got nervous when he ran out of stuff to throw and I was the only thing left. Mrs. Madlock got on a morning calisthenics kick, and it sucked because she made me do so just like everyone else. Manteca got pissed at the band and threw one of those paint marking devices across the field and missed me by about three feet. I got a "new" car and started carrying an old trophy cup around for people to put money in. It worked and I got 15+ dollars in change for my new car's ashtray. I managed to get out of many classes due to my "duties" to the band, and the football team made it to the state championship. I experienced Drum Major nightmare #1 and the band didn't hear my count off despite screaming as loud as I could. Somehow, it didn't phase me. I'd had a blast that year. Mrs. Madlock made me rejoin the group and pick up my saxophone after I managed to sit behind her on that table for a week of concert band. I guess she just didn't notice. My second semester in Jazz Band I didn't enroll in concert band but promised to "audit" the class. That lasted approximately three weeks before I learned that I could sleep in every day. Manteca got pissed at Eric some more and managed to kick a large stand on top of me. Towards the end of the semester Mrs. Madlock made me rejoin the band and I challenged Guy Royston for second chair with a large sign on the front of the building. I graduated and started work for TECH.
Band was my staple throughout school. Most of my friends were/are in it, and I can think of very few high school memories that don't somehow involve it or members of it. I could probably think of stories all day long, but I've got places to go... oh, wait... no I don't.
Jeff C.
Former Head Nerd, HHS Band.
I must now write my memoirs...
After reading Eric's post I suddenly realized that I need to write my memoirs. I am currently working on a few titles:
"10 years in a Vietcong Hell Hole: the realization and understanding of sugar, pepsi and marijuana on the modern band student and it's effect on the U.S. government after it betrayed my trust and leaked the fact that I am an undercover CIA agent posing as a high school band director, posing as a Walmart stocker attempting to fool and entire state into believing that I know anything about marching band and music in general."
OR
"High School Band Director: What the hell was I thinking?"
manteca
Oh Come On...
Before I start, I want to point out that it was Jesse I. that got hurt and not Jonathon L. Anyways, when i look back at all the memories of band, marching included, i have ALL good memories.
Eric's List of Good Band Memories
9th Grade: Drum Major: Deandre Something: Show: Something to do w/Jazz: Eric's Goal: Not to get Beat up
This was the last year that we didnt go to Band Camp, it was also the year that in Brian Crow and Allen Miles sucked up their duet every time they played, this was also the year I saw tim goynes play the guitar for the first time, which was a high point. 9th grade was also the year where it was still "cool" to be in band, so all of my friends were in band.... Jazz band: This was probably my least favorite year of jazz band, caz i had to play 2nd part, but it was also the year that Chad Randle threw me through the wall, Seth brought boxing gloves to jazz band, and knocked roy unconscious twice, and Mr. Madlock made people cry.
10th Grade: Drum Major: Our Very own Jeff C: Show: Beatles: Erics goal in band: To piss of Jeff C.
This is when band started getting really fun, this was the year when "Oh Dang that Sux" was oh so popular. At band camp jamey drank seths urine, chris miller took a dump in a trash can, and then we fed it to jamey in his sleep. Alright, i made the last part up. Anyways This was also the year when beating the living crap out of jamey was in its prime. Umm... This was the year Paul was still in school, and was the furthest thing from cool. Cory Bittle was also at HHS, blessing us w/his amazing ability at the trumpet. And he also set the record for having the ugliest girlfriend ive ever seen. Mrs. Madlock said "Stay erect BONER" And i cant leave out, (no one will care about this but paul) when me and paul played a duet, and we switched hands...what im trying to say is We fingered each other.
Jazz Band: This was an awesome year of jazz band. First off, we were really good, second it was the last year seth was in jazz band, so we celebrated every day by beating jamey relentlessly, chris brought a caddle prod to school and shocked jamey almost to death, this was the year that the we did the Scooter ramping, which is on video somewhere, oh yeah, and Mr. Madlock made people cry. OOH and i almost forgot, i think it was this year that mr. madlock accident kicked the big stand ontop of jeff c. that was funny.
11th Grade: Drum Majors: The Midget Twins: Show: Macarthur Park and Birdland: Eric's Goal: Same as last year, and to pass out from playing as high as i could.
This was the year where mr. madlock said i had a big "chip" on my shoulder and that i was exactly like my brother, anyways, it was also the year that we beat up Northwestern with a stick, Karen and Lacy got into a fight. I would have more things to say about this year, but this was the year when my consumption of cannibis was at its highest, so i cant really remember that much.
Jazz Band: This was when Sid drilled into his leg trying to rebuild an R/C car, My favorite jazz band ensemble b/c tim was still in it, and Bryan from las vegas was on the drums. This was when all the little gay freshmen were in jazz band, and it turned into a drama fest. Which in turn made Mr. Madlock make people cry. My favorite time being when he made tommy cry, well he was actually already crying, but Manteca has always been one to amplify things.
Senior Year: Drum Major: Mrs. Chelsea Phillips: Show: Assorted Mix of Songs: Eric's Goal: Show up
THis was sadly the year that we lost farchette balls, and speaking of balls, this was the year that jonathons dropped and he became a much better trumpet player. This was the first show that started to be electrical. Uhhmmm... Man my memory sux. this is the most recent year, and i cant remember anything about it. I need something to trigger my memory....... there thats better, nothing like some uncut nicoraguan cocaine to get MY juices flowing. This was the year that the most people dropped out of band and band started to taper.
Jazz Band: We went to branson and 10 full sized people fit onto a kids roller coaster, and we have that on film. We saw Drum Corp, and the bus was really hot, and manteca's mother went off on the bus driver. Bad Boys II became a cursing contest. I graduated... and oh yeah, mr. madlock made people cry.
Im sure there are bunch of things i forgot about from the 11th and 12th grade, i seem to be having memory lapses....
Anyways... you can say you dont like band now, but you cant say that you didnt have fun up until now... you faggot.
I have not been moved to post...
I am currently in a funk... I haven't had the need to post in a while. I have however reached a milestone in my life. I realized that Thursday night will be my last gig with the bands. I will conduct the jazz band one more time. WOW, ten years with this group. The funny thing is they won't remember me after about 3 weeks. You know, out of sight, out of mind. As I look back on the years, I remember all those musical milestones. Jazz volley ball, jazz scooter jumping, Sydney drilling threw his leg, the jazz chair spinning (in which Jonathan hurt himself pretty badly), jazz kite flying, jazz truck riding and oh yeah, we played jazz every once in awhile. When it comes to marching band, that is a whole other story. I think it will be best if I place all of that in a box and hide it in my attic. I won't know what to do with myself on Fridays in the Fall. I guess I will have to get me a part-time job stocking at Walmart.
Any who, time marches on. I realize that the other convoginators on this list are all former students... You guys were great! You helped me realize that I wanted to get as far away from high school band as possible...Thanks for the memories!
manteca
funny conversation
I had a funny conversation with a guy i used to be friends with last year, the other day... background on jimi.... last semester he completed 0 of his 15 hrs due to his ignorance and laziness. He is obsessed with cars and his grandparents let him buy a suburu WRX under their name. He is a complete and total idiot, w/a good heart. To put it into simple terms, he's my new Jamey Alberson... somebody i like, but LOVE to be mean to.
Praeparet Belum: yes, i have a temporary job
Praeparet Belum: and did you make your own buddy icon?
maxu47: no
maxu47: what is my icon right now?
Praeparet Belum: Brian, you're a pussy"
maxu47: where are you working
Praeparet Belum: psh, right now a Tanning Salon, BUT, when i get back from Lowe's i'm gonna work w/ my friend at Lowe's, bringing in the bank. Making $7.12 an hour starting off, getting a raise after the first 90 days and working at least 40hrs a week
Praeparet Belum: wow, i'm an idiot
maxu47: your gonna be banking
Praeparet Belum: when i get back from florida
Praeparet Belum: i'm gonna own the bank
maxu47: i think i may be working two jobs this summer, so ill still have you beat, and both jobs are AWESOME
Praeparet Belum: i'm gonna get atleast 19 more slaves
maxu47: ?
Praeparet Belum: you know, slaves of African decent
Praeparet Belum: B
Praeparet Belum: L
Praeparet Belum: A
Praeparet Belum: C
Praeparet Belum: K
Praeparet Belum: SLAVES
maxu47: actually your gonna be spending quite about of your money this summer
maxu47: apt. and car
Praeparet Belum: yeah, thats why i gotta work there, it pays to much and i have to make to much
maxu47: whatever happend to reserves
Praeparet Belum: i'm putting it on hold for awhile, wanna live free for awhile and all
maxu47: so your never going
Praeparet Belum: never know, i might, i might not
maxu47: you wont
Praeparet Belum: idk, i have to take care of that loan, and i'm not paying it off, and my parents off, so, the army just might have to
maxu47: im ready to start working somewhere, i havent worked since last wed. and i feel empty
maxu47: i think im gonna be able to get a job at the movie gallery in hope by next week
maxu47: then ill work nights there, and days at the HPS tech
Praeparet Belum: hps tech?
Praeparet Belum: where's that
Praeparet Belum: ?
Praeparet Belum: oh, i have a funny story to tell you
maxu47: thats the school district that i work in, the computer stuff, you know
Praeparet Belum: gotcha, so your gonna travel back and fourth from hope and conway everyday?
maxu47: no dude, the movie gallery in hope
maxu47: and the HOPE public school district... hps
Praeparet Belum: i got ya know
Praeparet Belum: now
maxu47: whats your funnys story
Praeparet Belum: ok, well, friday was my bday and a few of us went out to eat and all, and went to toad suck daze, and we were leaving, and this guy in a prelude drove by as we were walking, and he revved on us, and my friend drew who is loud and funny yells at him and challenges him to a race, and the guy is like "sure" i didnt figure he would have, and so, he pulls up and goes' "what do you drive?" and i point to my wrx and he goes "oh, the subaru" and then he's like, follow me. so we go out to the place where we are gonna race, and the guy goes, pop your hood, and THEN he goes....
maxu47: are you 20
Praeparet Belum: "Whats that? *points to the intercooler*" and i'm like "Um.....that's the intercooler...." i was in complete AWE of how dumb the guy was. And then he goes "oh, so this thing is turbocharged?" and i'm like "uh yeah" and he goes "oh, so thats what that spooling noise was" thats when me and drew just walked away, and laughed our asses off
maxu47: jimi that was a completly and totally lame story.... the whole class is now a little bit dumber from it
maxu47: are you 20
Praeparet Belum: dude, that guy was the idiot, he didnt know what the freaking intercooler was man
Praeparet Belum: we laughed so dadgum hard at the guy, it was hilarious
maxu47: dude your GAY for caring about stupid cars so much
Praeparet Belum: whatever man
Praeparet Belum: yeah, i'm 20
maxu47: thats why you dont have a girlfriend
maxu47: and thats also the reason your gay
maxu47: jimi..........
Praeparet Belum: oh yes, of course
Praeparet Belum: b/c i love my car
maxu47: thats unhealthy
maxu47: you did absolutely no work on that car, you just bought, you know alot less than you think you know about it.
Praeparet Belum: i know more than you might think i know about it tho. since you have NO way to judge it, so, its pointless to argue
maxu47: the only real fact i know about your car, is your gay....
maxu47: for caring so much about it
Dial-Up Sucks
Well, I'm not 100% sure that this message will make it to the blog. I've forgotten just how slow dial-up is. Its ridiculus.... im connected at a mind boggling 38.6kps. "YOU FEEL THAT IN YOUR FACE SILENT BOB?!"... I'm used to my lighting fast cable internet...and jeff c, puts it so well when he says that "its so fast that the router can't handle all the information and it begins to hemerage out into the clean air, and can only be contained with butterfly nets" oh and when speaking of funny things jeff c has said, we can never leave out his mark on the comical world... "This thing handles like a convieniance store" And speaking of convieniance store, i no longer work at the BP station, i bid it farewell last wednesday, i gave myself my own parting gifts; so the tech dept will have fun size reece's for the rest of this year, and the only condoms that were left were the "Magnum" size so i guess we'll all be buying ours still... But these will make for good water balloons.
And just so cara doesnt get mad at me...
NO I DONT NEED CONDOMS, and yes I AM DEFINITELY GOING TO WIN MATTHEWS CONTEST.
Tuesday, May 04, 2004
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I think I'm alone now...
Yep, there doesn't seem to be anyone around. Where are you guys? Paul, I know there is some wackiness going on in the land of Fayetteville. I know Eric must have some amusing BP stories now that he isn't afraid of getting fired. I know Matthew has some informed opinion of Kerry's political fauxpas (sp?)... or has another crude contest planned. Manteca, has Wal-Mart pissed you off lately? And as for the Fire Lizard. He hasn't posted in months... it seems that he forgot his password. Come on folks, little convogination is getting done here. If we can't produce, our fans will move on... to Rick James or Wayne Brady
I'd hate for that to happen people. We have so much insight to offer the people of the world. It would be selfish of us not to share it.
Now, has anyone seen my trashcans?
Jeff C.
Talking Goat...
Oh, one could only imagine the sheer amount of wackiness that could take place in one week. It was very much a "hurry up and wait" situation on the way over to Tennessee. We were in between two different weather systems, and therefore we had to wait for one to get out of the way, then hurry up and get there before the next system caught up to us. Fortunately, I was flying the newest airplane of our lot, and it was quite comfortable and fast despite myself and two passengers, fuel and baggage. We took off just one hundred pounds under the maximum takeoff weight of the aircraft. We had to stop in Little Rock on Saturday night for weather, and departed early the next morning to stay ahead of what was behind us. We arrived in Smyrna around three o'clock in the afternoon. Once there, we checked into the Double Tree and spent most of the week getting sunburned on the ramp while trying to sit in the shade of our airplane wings. Smyrna's airport is also a national guard base, and the ubiquitous Black Hawk helicopters taunted me and my poor uncorrected vision, but they were fun to watch. At some point during the week, a couple of the guys purchased a few mice and released them into the girls' hotel room. The trick didn't work and the girls became quite taken with the mice.
On the last night, we met a couple of other teams at a go-cart and minigolf place in town. Members from several teams including our own got kicked off the go-carts. Yet another who tried to get kicked out by driving too slowly did not. He only managed to delay the next group of riders for five minutes while he finished a lap. We placed sixth overall out of 31 teams. One of our guys placed first in power off landings, and another placed third in short field landings. We beat everyone from our region, and scored higher in most events than anyone from our region.
On the way home, I got stuck with the slowest and oldest airplane of the lot. It was pretty cool though, as I rigged up my iPod to the intercom using the "hush-a-comm" feature. We rocked the casbah all 550 some odd miles home. We got into a little bit of rain around the Fayetteville area and had to detour a little to the south before landing at Drake Field to refuel. The flight home took seven hours, and I slept for 11 hours that night. It's good to be home and back to the convogination.
Jeff C.
P.S. Has anyone seen my trashcans? This is getting just a little ridiculous.
Monday, May 03, 2004
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Oh won't you please take me home...
Finally back from TN. Had a blast. Unfortunately for me, however, is that all of my finals are this week. Got to run take a test, will post soon.
Jeff C.
Can you keep all the fluids in your body?
I propose a challenge.
The person who can refrain the longest.
The is also a quest for honesty. You have to tell the truth.
This is like the Seinfeld Episode if it isn't clear to you yet.
The contest will start 5-10-04
If you are married or dating then you will have to inform your wives or girlfriends of your priorities to the convogination boards.
Sign ups will be done on the Tag board. Post by the name of "Jerk Contest" with a message content of your name. I will do the first post.
Whoever wins will get 50 dollars. This money is provided by me.
But you have to be honest.
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