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Tuesday, September 30, 2003
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Forgiveness is easier than permission...
Ahh yes... I too may have been a little hasty in my anger... All is forgiven... Stir on, stir on...
manteca
I apologize
I guess i was a little overzealous to post, i just dont want the convog-o-blog to die down. POST ON!!!
DOWN WITH THE CHEEZE!!
Monday, September 29, 2003
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What the Hello Dolly was that Crap...
If i could actually poop into the computer and get it to post it would have been better than that last one. Great... so the rats don't jump ship, they just post REALLY crappy posts. I mean that was so bad, I'm gonna go throw a hair dryer in the bath tub with myself.
Man...you gotta get that math out of your system... it is really affecting your comedic coolness...or is it UCA. Are you getting enough opportunities to be sarcastic and rude? If you aren't, find the nearest AA meeting and tear into them...
manteca
Normandy Beach
So the other day i was in world war 2 and as they were handing out our rations, i noticed that
my chocalate milk wasnt mixed very well, and i was mad, and then to make matters worse, it turns out that all my brothers were killed in the war, but some guys decided to come save me. Two of them even died on the trip. But i told them THESE ARE THE ONLY BROTHERS I HAVE LEFT and that i wasnt going to leave until our regiment all sat down and mixed the greatest batch ever of chocalate milk, So once that was done, i had no choice but to leave, but right when we were going to disembark, the shells started to fall. So i yelled to my squad, UP 2 and left 31, FIRE FOR EFFECT and then .........
they all looked at me and asked me what i was thinking. Actually it was my mom, caz i was having a bad dream, apparently i had started yelling and she came to my bedside to relieve me of my troubles. but it was too late, i was already scared, but then she said that she would let me sleep in her bed tonight , so that made everything OK.
.........yeah that was dumb, i know
Sunday, September 28, 2003
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And now for something completely different...
So i decided to sit down and write to the 'ol convoginators... chocolate? milk? nope, not this time. i decided to let it all come to the front, to discuss, or yet, ramble about what is on my mind.
Life in general is disappointing. I mean really a big let down. If i were a rich man...hahah... it would still be disappointing. Where is the challenge? Where are the life and death decisions? I mean, wouldn't it be more exciting to have to outwit the raptors each day? Hunt my own food. Run from the lava. Instead, the hardest choice I have is whether I have one or two slices of Kraft® Cheese on my sandwich. I think that maybe it is just me... Maybe everyone else is living the "fast" life.
Today my daughter told me I was chunky. Maybe I am chunky. I think that is a compliment; OK, maybe it isn't a compliment, maybe it is just sad on my part... Ahhh... i like to eat. If i had to catch my own food, i bet I wouldn't be "Chunky." There I go again rambling.
Anyway, you probably think i am depressed... Nope, i am actually in a great mood. I think I am having a wonderful year. I keep wondering if i will wake up and it will all have been a dream. Why DO dogs follow the same path in the yard?? Ha, there i go again...
Convoginate and eat happily! Chunkiness Rules!!
Manteca
Thursday, September 25, 2003
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Whoop dee doo!!
So now everyone decides they better post... Well FINE! You think you can bring your 2% milk and Dollar General Store Powdered Uncle Wiggly brand Chocolate drink mix and be part of the fun?? Oh NOOOOO! That just will not cut it. It is time to stand up for what is rich and creamy. Lactose Intolerants beware...we are coming for you...
Now if only I could get this chocolate cheese recipe happening....
Yes, I know i ramble, hHey....sue me!
manteca
Ok, time to post
Im watching Anger Management, its not as funny as i thought it would be, so im having my way w/Irma on the futon. By that i mean we're convoginating. I know that some of you readers out there w/your dirty minds, were thinking to yourselves that i was some kinda sick-o
that would do something crazy w/some woman that churns chocalate milk for a living, but you had better recognize that im not like that. Well i was....... but im not now
SO GET OFF MY BACK
the end is NOT near!!
Im going to start posting more, Ive just been so busy w/ IRMA, the milk maid from heaven,
Gotta go to class, then ill POST!!
many stories to tell
eRIc
Monday, September 22, 2003
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Hypoxia!!
Boy, has this convoginator been busy. I work hard for the money from whenever to whenever for the minor pittance that the state of Oklahoma can provide it's most trusted and skilled employees. It never ceases to amaze me that throughout all of this, I can still find time to do some cool stuff. That's right, I get to become hypoxic this Thursday. My human factors class is going to an altitude chamber and we all get to see what it's like when convoginated goodness comes out of our noses at 25,000 feet. I hear that during the rapid decompression, if the milk is not stored properly, it will bust and fill the air with its rich texture and flavor. Oh, I can't wait! Maybe they'll let me take a swig of Rebel Yell and a puff off of my Lucky Strike before I head in!
Jeff C. (a.k.a. Squeezle the Super Squirrel)
The End is Near...
I guess the end of the convoginators is just right arond the corner... I knew that it would eventually be too much for the people who contribute to handle. Now all shall fail and this site will be taken over by orange juice drinkers. GREAT!! My lifes work...ended....all is dark...
Manteca
Thursday, September 18, 2003
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I think we're alone now
So i finally found someone here at UCA that really makes me happy. I mean, she makes me feel like ive never felt before. I mean I think about her all day long, during all my classes, im telling ya, i think about her alot.............
It all started the other day at the chocalate milk machine. All this time I assumed that "secret convoginator" making UCA's chocalate milk was a guy, but NO SIR. Its a woman. and not just any woman, she's a beautiful full figured, milk lady. Curves everywhere, and even when your least expect them, curves under curves. OH YEAH. So anyways as soon we locked eyes, (hers still had a little eye booger in it from who knows when -- so cute) everything else history. I never thought i would find true happiness so early in life. All we do is convoginate, as many as 5 times a day (im getting tired). Anyways i just figured i'd share this true love story w/ you fellow convoginators, to lift you spirits, and to show you that somewhere out there, there is probably a full featured milk maid for you too.
The End
Sunday, September 14, 2003
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Ahhh...the sound of goodness...
AS I sit here sipping my lovely convaginated masterpiece, I remember the time that I almost gave up convoginating for good. So yesterday, as I reached for the gallon of milk from the refrigerator, it slipped. It fell in slow motion towards the wood floor and although I have superhuman, cat-like reflexes, it hit... As the white goodness spread across the room like an avalanche out of control... I freaked. What was I going to do? Luckily, being a Super genius I was quickly able to deduce a plan. With much haste, a bucket, a mop and a large bottle of Hersheys... i quickly convoginated in the spirit of the Local Janitors union 227. Ahhh... all was better, and i have some pretty nice convogination, with a few hairs and some dust bunnies.... but delicious just the same...
manteca
Friday, September 12, 2003
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POOP!
The chocalate milk in the cafeteria has become kind of watered down, so i think the guy behind the scenes convoginating it, is spitting it. SO... i have formulated a diabolical plan and group to STIKE back against behind the scenes man convonginating in the secret convogination lab. So what were going to do, is dig a tunnel using nothing else but......... SPOONS. So the tunnel weve started is 6 miles from campus, and by my calculations we should be there in about 3 years. as long as the guard dont find us. were calling our mission the Shawshank Convogademption.
Thursday, September 11, 2003
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...spilt...milk?
Peace in Isreal? I doubt it... You know why Arafat (Abu Ammar, his nom de guerre) doesn't want to leave Ramallah? He has this awesome convogination machine in his bunker/palace/hideout. I mean this thing makes some mean chocolate goodness. He came out of his sandbagged office today and through a bullhorn recited a passage from the Quran to a large crowd gathered to protect him "...um atar, hom hallish um papou takima sum nohar." Which roughly translated is; "leave imediately, it is my milk and chococlate, I will sick the camels on you."
Oh yeah, and the Hamas...what about the Hamas...well, they are against the convoginating...
I wonder if Camel milk makes your convoginating extract taste funny??
Oh yeah, you are probably wondering what "nom de guerre" is. That is French for "war name." My nom de guerre is the same as my Cherokee name "Eats with sprinkles." I know, it strikes fear in the hearts of mortal men.
Manteca
Wednesday, September 10, 2003
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Physics...
I hate physics.
There, I said it... Someone had to.
I like the word amalgamation, it reminds me of spicy chicken sandwiches.
Bull's Milk Poo Baa Part Deux
Yeah, so I guess everyone is "busy." HA ...Busy...you try and feed the hungry, make a cake, drive a snowplow, run Al Sharpton's Presidential campaign, salt the walk, shoe a horse, paint a fence, install ISA enterprise edition, stop global warming, hatch an egg, walk the dog, vacuum, turn right, split hairs, judge a murder trial, place a bet, put out the cat, grill, marry a jewish couple, learn arabic, train marines, protect the eastern seaboard, predict the weather, scuba dive for sea sponges, chew gum, translate the dead sea scrolls, split an atom, compete in a triathalon, screw in a light bulb, mow the yard, re-install ISA enterprise edition and teach band... You think you are busy??? HA!!!
POST OR DIE!
Tuesday, September 09, 2003
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Convogination - M$ and the great Thesarus
Little chucky tartar
knew not what was right
thought about the spelling
but could not spell to write
he dreamed of stirring white milk
making it turn brown
but using the word convogination
only made him frown
should he use the big word
made his mind a fuss
a different word for convogination
maybe in the M$ Word thesarus
what to use instead he thought
maybe a new word for fun
but to his suprise a synonym
amalgamation
so chucky used this new word
and much to his surprise
from his teacher Mrs. Wiggles
he got not four F's but five
..Sir Walter Riley Manteca Strong-Bad
Monday, September 08, 2003
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Ode to Canned Ravioli
Be still my beating heart, err... quiet my rumbling stomach.
Why dost thou torment me so with thou incessant grumbling?
Many a culinary experience have I given thee today:
Poultry, cookies, chips, and cheap noodles to name just a few.
Thou even rejecteth the peanut butter and banana staple.
What could possibly pacify thy hunger?
mmm.... canned ravioli.
So... who is gonna be governor?
I was a bit concerned who might become governor of California. Those Tofu eatin, bean sprout growin' freaks need help out there... They need a real convoginator! So I throw in the man with the plan.
RICK JAMES FOR GOV. OF CALIFORNIA!
He Can put the Super Freak back in California
Saturday, September 06, 2003
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Low on milk...
In my many wanderings, a fork in the road I came upon.
This was no ordinary intersection, a mere convergence of pathways,
This was a crossroads in life, and choices to make.
Long did I stand there, looking down each road, each option.
Long did I ponder the possible outcomes of travel along each path.
Long did I comtemplate consequences of choosing a course.
In the end, I chose the path more frequently traveled by;
Milk prices are better at the Mega-Low-Mart.
Friday, September 05, 2003
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Ben Folds!
This convoginator gets to see Ben Folds tonight... if I can get out of work... (devious scheming underway)
Wednesday, September 03, 2003
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Bull's Milk Poo Baa
Poo baa thinks he has the convoginating world on his shoulders but he doesnt. Its I, the convaginating KING who is really pulling all the weight. Im the guy behind the scenes of all the glamour and glitz of the crazy life of convogination that poo baa leads. Im the one who stirs his milk and wipes his mouth after he drinks, i also tuck him in at night, ooops did i say that out loud??!!
POST...or get off the pot!
POST OR ELSE!
So is anyone gonna post? I am tired of doing all the work... My stirring hand is getting a bad case of typers cramp...
Feed the cows...
Tuesday, September 02, 2003
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Random Thought...Last Post
That makes me hungry... and you know what goes good with HUNGRY??
Chocolate milk...
Feed the cows...Free the squirrels...Bullwinkle Moose for President...It could happen...
A random thought.
Peanut butter and banana sandwiches rock my world.
Jeff C.
Monday, September 01, 2003
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We are but the pawns of Kings and Convoginators...
Who knew that when this post started thousands...dare I say millions, would be touched by it's careless, self-sacrificing gift of useless dribble, incoherent knowledge and random convoginating. That a handfull of talented, super-intelligent, ridiculous dreamers could bring so much happiness to so many. That Ren and Stimpy would return to television. That 4 (or is it 5) gay men could have their own prime time show where they changed a normal, everyday man into a color matching fruit. That the Iraqi terrorists would be so bored they would begin to kill their OWN people... (Sorry, that last one was just a small hint of sobriety in the insane intoxication of reallity.)
I tell you...Convoginating is the answer... If not chocolate milk...then what? If you slap, do I not scream like a girl? If you stir, does not the white liqud turn brown?
I have lost all sense of time...feed the cows...
Theres Been a Shortage of Posts
I looked at the polls today and convogination posts have gone down dramtically but there has been a rise in convogination, to much convogination, not enuff posting. There needs to be a balance. C'mon guys. Dont let covogination ruin you. Ive seen it happen before. At first convoginating is just a hobby, but then it turns into a nasty habit. Sometimes convaginating as many as 3 times a day. Ive actually seen guys so strung out on convoginating that their sturring arm gets so black and blue from where theyve been shooting up, oh i mean, stirring up. im babbling
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