Tuesday, October 31, 2006
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John Kerry is a loser...please debate me!
John Kerry has once again shown his stupidity. I am writing this blog with my right hand tied behind my back and have just finished a valium/Nyquil cocktail to calm my nerves. The big idiot:
"You know, education, if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. And if you don't, you get stuck in Iraq," he said.
Gee, thats funny, my good friend Maj. Michael E. Spraggins served in Iraq. In fact, I can think of no one smarter, more loyal and definitely more intelligent than John Kerry that I would trust to protect me, my family and my country. Shame on you John Kerry! You are out of touch with reality and what the REAL American people want.
Saturday, October 28, 2006
------------------------------------------------------------------------- Another step backwards for Hope
It saddens me to be the one to pass this news along, but Miss Hope Spiritual Advisor is no more. I suppose even she was not able to see her own future in a town that is frozen in time. I've had my suspicions that things may have not been as prosperous as one may hope for Miss Hope since I never saw her have her first customer. I feel like a real idiot. When I first saw her sign go up I was sure the parking lot to the South of her place would be full round the clock. Heck, I think she did worse than the Black Sheep Ink Tattoo parlor. In fact if it were not for Manteca's regular visits there for weekly piercing, Black Sheep Ink would have folded sooner than it did. So now I sit and ponder what will occupy that building next?? Surly with the upcoming widening of Hervey a forward-thinking entrepreneur will snatch up this property quick and make his millions on auto parts, cigarettes, DVD rentals, check cashing or the ever-so-popular outdoor enchilada stand. It's not too late. We could take out all our Convoginator store funds and purchase the property ourselves! I think the Manteca would be perfect to manage the place. I'm sure none of us would mind if he set up his recording studio in it to start serving the growing Hope hip-hoppers. I'm stumped. If we decide to open a studio, what do you think we might call it ? What do you think would be a good logo? Phynerk
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
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Tennessee Race Gets Ugly...but funny!
Republican Bob Corker and Democrat Harold Ford Jr. are running neck and neck in Tennessee. The Republican party made a bit of a snafu when it gave away some money and had this ad made. Luckily, Bob Corker is a great guy and was the first to note that this ad was tacky and should be pulled. I agree, tacky, but oh so true.
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
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Interesting Email from a concerned Convogi-Reader
About the time our original 13 states adopted their new constitution, in 1787, Alexander Tyler, a Scottish history professor at the University of Edinburgh, had this to say about the fall of the Athenian Republic some 2,000 years prior.
"A democracy is always temporary in nature; it simply cannot exist as a permanent form of government. A democracy will continue to exist up until the time that voters discover that they can vote themselves generous gifts from the public treasury. From that moment on, the majority always votes for the candidates who promise the most benefits from the public treasury, with the result that every democracy will finally collapse due to loose fiscal policy, which is always followed by a dictatorship." "The average age of the worlds greatest civilizations from the beginning of history, has been about 200 years. During those 200 years, these nations always progressed through the following sequence : 1. from bondage to spiritual faith; 2. from spiritual faith to great courage; 3. from courage to liberty; 4. from liberty to abundance; 5. from abundance to complacency; 6. from complacency to apathy; 7. from apathy to dependence; 8. From dependence back into bondage."
Professor Joseph Olson of Hamline University School of Law, St. Paul, Minnesota, points out some interesting facts concerning the 2000 Presidential election:
Population of counties won by: Gore: 127 million; Bush: 143 million; Square miles of land won by: Gore: 580,000; Bush: 2,427,000 States won by: Gore: 19 Bush: 29 Murder rate per 100,000 residents in counties won by: Gore: 13.2 Bush: 2.1
Professor Olson adds: "In aggregate, the map of the territory Bush won was mostly the land owned by the tax-paying citizens of this great country. Gore's territory mostly encompassed those citizens living in government-owned tenements and living off government welfare..."
Olson believes the United States is now somewhere between the "complacency and apathy" phase of Professor Tyler's definition of democracy, with some 40 percent of the nation's population already having reached the "governmental dependency" phase.
Monday, October 23, 2006
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On Law School and Politics...
I wrote a rather lengthy rant on higher education and the politics thereof, but upon reflection I realized that it was not in any way applicable to my experiences so far in law school. I routinely see headlines about the plight of conservative organizations on campuses all across this great country, and how two-faced many liberals can be when it comes to the concept of "free speech." However, I have found that political discussions rarely erupt during class, and I would be hard pressed to wager an educated guess as to how any of my professors voted in the last election, or more importantly, IF they even voted. I find this a rather welcome change from my experience in undergrad where approximately half of the final examination included questions that led off with "according to your professor, the source of evil in America is..." or "According to your professor, George Bush is similar to Bin Laden because..." It's nice to see the face professionalism peek out from behind the ficade of "education" that so often characterizes the uinversity experience, and it's amazing how much you can actually learn in such a setting.
It's clear I am getting quite senile and I do not understand many of the words in our English language that I used to think I had a good handle on. For instance, take the word HOLY. Here are a few examples of how I see it used each day in our newspapers: "End of HOLY month marred by surge in violence, leaving at least 44 dead." What about; " 16 children killed by suicide bomber as they pray in the HOLY Mosque in the city of Baqouba". And let's not forget "Militants target police and shoppers at the end of the Ramadan HOLY month. The Highest of the Muslim year". Back in the day I remember the word HOLY was used during a time called Easter when we gave tribute to an innocent young man that laid his life down voluntarily so that all might have abundant life by believing in His life, burial, and resurrection. I think I can also remember a day when we used HOLY to celebrate the birth of that same young man's birth. I guess I'll need to add this new word; HOLY to several more that I've come to forget the original meanings to. Such words as: Love, Truth, Honor, Trust, Care, and Jesus.
I'm so glad that I had this opportunity to share these shortcomings of mine with you and hope you will be patient with me as I begin to rethink these new words' meanings and integrate them into my old decrepit life.
Friday, October 13, 2006
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Bad Driving...EZ Mart style
I just found this really funny...notice the lady getting gas, seemingly oblivious to the stuff going on around her. This is why I always carry a camera with me...and the possibility of getting a good shot of elves.
Thursday, October 12, 2006
------------------------------------------------------------------------- Pissants as seen through a magnifying glass
Definition: piss·ant also piss-ant (pissant) Slang n. 1. One that is insignificant. 2. Obsolete An ant. adj. Not important; insignificant: "Some pissant dictator wants to nuke us". Phynerk
It seems the dictator of North Korea wants to sit and talk face-to-face over the present situation with our president. On the surface this seems like a very plausible thing to do. Let's see how this talk might go ( based on the facts we now have at hand ):
Mr. Bush: Good day, Mr. Kim Jong.
Kim Jong: I do not like take lightly to such criticism.
Mr. Bush: My dog has fleas.
Kim Jong: If you keep pestering me and increase pressure, I will regard it as a declaration of war and will take a series of physical corresponding measures.
Mr. Bush: I like Texas.
Kim Jong: This latest provocation leaves me no alternative but to nuke the whole bunch of you.
Mr. Bush:
Kim Jong: It's clear by the bullish nature of the United States that our nation must declare war.
Possible Captions: ...The few, the proud, the UGLY ...Wheres Waldo? ...Pull that gun outta my hair,will you ? ...My uniforms in the cleaners ...Mr. Bush, make my day ...Are we all squinty-eyed or just asleep? ...North Koreas answer to welfare ...I got this coat from LandsEnd ...Who farted?
I have to get my fun in before Josh steps in and puts him in a swimsuit, water wings, and one of those around-the-waist Donald Duck flotation rings... In fact, that's your new assignment, Josh.
"just take your time Mr. Annan. Stop crying for a moment and pick out the crazy freak that orchestrated the nuclear test. I promise, he can't see you."
Sorry, I couldn't get the Manamana song to play under this... I think it would have been fitting.
OK...new contest! Please caption the photo above. My first entry: "Hey Chow Yung, you got gum?"
Saturday, October 07, 2006
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My 6 year old told me a story of abuse at Guantanamo Country Club and Muslim Spa...
So now a Marine has come forward to tell on the gang at Guantanamo.
"The name of the sergeant, a female paralegal in a detainee criminal case, was blacked out. The sergeant described an hourlong conversation with guards at a bar at the base on September 23, but the affidavit mentioned only the first names of those accused of taking part in the abuse."
So after the bar conversation, all is fair. Naturally, the tree huggin', got two dolphins in my pocket, liberal lawyers foam at the mouth on this one.
Wells Dixon, a lawyer representing four current Guantanamo detainees, said the latest account of abuse reflected a complete breakdown in the chain of command at Guantanamo and a lack of accountability by senior military officials there. "The fact that members of the U.S. Navy can sit around at a bar and laugh about beating detainees for no reason is outrageous. We're one step away from Abu Ghraib (Iraq prison abuse scandal) or possibly worse," Dixon said.
Can you believe this crap. Here is my favorite part, this is considered cruel and unusual punishment for people who kill with no remorse.
"A guard named Steven said that even when the conduct of detainees was good, guards would take away personal items. "He said they do this to anger the detainees so they can punish them when they object or complain," she stated."
See, they need all the legal help they can get. We are taking away their stuff. That's just not fair, you can't take stuff away from them just to teach them a lesson, heck, the next thing you know we will be grounding them from television. I wonder if the soldiers and civilians could all leave Guantanamo on Monday for Columbus day, then the Koreans could test their nukes there...that's mean isn't it. I think I have a psychological problem...
Friday, October 06, 2006
------------------------------------------------------------------------- It was the worse of times..It is the worser of times
Recently I was following a link from Drudge Report that led me to an older video from the morning chick program The View where Rosie O'Donnell said: "Radical Christianity is just as threatening as radical Islam in a country like America." After which the audience broke out into thunderous applause. All I have to say is that if I had the mastery of the English language as Jeff C. and the Manteca I would have enough to say in one sentence concerning this insanity to cause the pixels of your monitor to lodge in your cheek. Rather I will only end this by saying that I used to wonder when I read different parts of Revelations how in the world certain things would EVER occur in history. I don't any more. Before our very eyes we see every day how the masses have completely lost all grasp of truth and reason with the new tolerance towards life in general. Phynerk
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
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As crazy as a bear riding a motorcycle on a tight rope...
As the House and Senate begin their downward spiral into ludicrousity (check the spelling on that one Seashell), I question the integrity and moral fortitude of our nations lawmakers. Wow, that sentence was heavy wasn't it? Earlier today I was asked to step down from my post as Vice Pooh Baa for the Obese Society for Comedy in the Field of Technology and Music Education. I've come under fire due to the fact that I knew about one of our board memebers and his instant message exchange with a Jenny Craig diet plan assistant. Over the past year he has exchanged messages with this person concerning their delicious, low calorie pies and cakes. Once during a massive Pizza Eating weekend, he even snuck out to have a low calorie shake. Supposedly he even showed up at the annual Tukey Leg, C++, Marching band and Knock Knock Joke Roast while under the influence of Slim Fast. OK, I have to stop, thats really stupid...
Anywho, looks like the kid that the senator was sending instant messages to was 18. Still, what was Senator Foley thinking...people, I tell you, it's as crazy as a bear riding a motorcycle on a tight rope.
Here's your picture... Crazy Chinese Animal Olympics!
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
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Blogging from a small room on the outskirts of hell...
RANT 06284: Right now, my best friend is beating himself up to make sure that one of our servers is back online and ready for tomorrow. Now you know us, we love a challenge and we take the responsibility of keeping the intregity of our network as close to 100%(OK..82.5%) as possible. Sometimes though, there has to be a cutoff point. Our district purchased yet another in a long line of testing programs this year. This one, like the other, provides us with testing materials to prepare the students for the real thing. It not only allows us to see where the strengths and weaknesses of the students lie, but also ties each question directly to the framework/curruculum that needs to be addressed. We have tested many a child already this year. I'm sure that just as my good friend slaps himself around, stays up late and makes himself sick over this server problem, there are teachers doing the same thing for the education of our youth. It warms my soul to know that the majority of teachers stay up all hours of the night to make sure that they examine the test results and are prepared to offer help to little Johnny the next day. Yeah, I'm a dreamer...
Sex addicted Senators, murdering pedophiles, Korea with nukes, tainted spinach, low test scores, new iPods, steroid juiced athletes, OPEC pumping more oil, OPEC cutting back on oil production, crazy South American dictators, melting icebergs, out of control hand clapping!! When is it all going to end? I don't know if I can take much more of the good life. Oh yeah, gotta pay my property taxes...I guess I should shut up and make sure that everyone gets food and shelter on my dime. Hey, somebody has to flip the patties.
I shouldn't do this for a least another 3 weeks...
Church of England leaders warned yesterday that calling God 'He' encourages men to beat their wives. They told churchgoers they must think twice before they refer to God as 'He' or 'Lord' because of the dangers that it will lead to domestic abuse. See for yourself ( In their 'Wisdom' they became FOOLS !! That's what HE said, anyway )
Crazy Chinese Animal Olympics!