- At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
- Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
- Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.
- Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."
- Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
- In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds"
- Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."
- Don't use any punctuation
- As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
- Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
- Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."
- Sing Along At The Opera.
- Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?
- Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.
- Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.
- Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
- When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"
- When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"
- Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
**This is a repost from another site. I was just impressed that they knew these things about my life.
manteca
