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Wednesday, March 31, 2004
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I need about tree fiddy...

Three days, three tests, and one geology lab record. It all starts Monday with a test in Geology on volcanoes or something equally insipid. I didn't study at all yet still felt reasonably good about it. Unfortunately, I had to sit through too much of Aviation Management even with the benefit of the fire alarm going off. Despite my protests, the adjunct professor decided that we needed to return and continue with class. Obviously she is not aware of Maslow's Hierarchy of Human Needs. A student will not be able to learn until their safety is assured, and I really didn't feel like burning up... Especially while I was bored, that would be a double whammy.

Tuesday, I awoke and made haste to the aerodrome to perform morningly dispatch duties. Lately, this has only involved little or no actual movement on my part. I sit happily in my chair and answer the phone and give people airplanes. It's quite a nice tradeoff from walking around outside freezing my proverbial posterior off deicing and preheating airplanes. Anyway, I digress. I had a test in Meteorology and once again, no studying was budgeted into my schedule for this particular examination. I'm still not sure what was actually on the test, as the guy sitting next to me kept muttering, "I'm Rick James, bitch!" It was just too much, I actually started laughing out loud about halfway through the test. This was certainly more interesting that what normally takes place in that class. We usually count the number of times this guy scratches his head. It's topped 40 times in an hour on one occasion.

Wednesday, I skipped all but my Geology lab, and for good reason. I'm so tired of college that I can hardly stand it. Anyway, I actually managed to get in and out of lab in just under one hour. It's the current record, but I think given the right lab subject, we could probably break the 50 minute mark. It's now my goal, as I really don't seem to be learning anything worthwhile, I might as well try to pass the time somehow. We also had a quiz in lab, and surprise, surprise, I didn't study for this one either. Five more weeks, and I get to skip one of those. Sweet Lady Summer, here I come!

Jeff C.

Take Me Down...

Take me down to the paradise city where the grass is green and the school isn't any... Yeah, so maybe that didn't work out quite as well as the original. Regardless, I'm skipping classes tomorrow because I just feel like it. Chris and I are proping down to OKC to solicit donations for our Flying Aggies fundraising banquet, and it's bound to be Day of the Courtesy Car II: The Car's Revenge.

As for Eric and his crappy FTP and opinion that politics is boring and/or doesn't matter... poop. Life isn't all a barrel of laughs, even if you work at a gas station. Speaking of such, where are all the gas station stories? How many underage children do you sell tobacco products to? What do you do when drunk people come in? How many people do you prank call from work? Oh, and swipe me some iTunes Pepsi...

Finally, I'd like to take this occasion to berate some liberals. These people need a life. These people need to stop sheltering their kids. And these people need to come to grips with reality. Weekly rant over, tune in again next week. Same bat time, same bat channel.

Jeff C.

i dont like where this is going

during my computer outage i missed abunch of bloggage, and i was eager to go back and read them, but i when i did, it came to my attention that our blog has wandered from the land of funniness, and has roamed into the land of BORING POLITICS. What happened the good wholesome american fart joke. Or maybe what we need is for someone to go on a rant about how disgusting gay people are, or maybe someone should talk about their redneck neighbors again. just anything but friggin politics. the little money counter thing over on the left is super gay too. i swear, i leave you guys alone for one week, and your penis shrivels up and you grow a newspaper between your legs.

Tuesday, March 30, 2004
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Sweet and Sour Pork...with Rice Please!

I am very impressed with the U.S. government. I wonder exactly what they are trying to cover up?? Condoleezza Rice at a public hearing? Hmmm...this is a beautiful slight of hand. I should know, I use it on you dopes all the time. If you have ever had a conversation with me then you know that I can change the subject quicker than John Kerry can meet a new guy at a gay bar...and we all know that is QUICK! Everytime I find myself in a conversation in which I might end up perjuring myself, I quickly, and beautifully, change the subject. I feel that is what is going on with the Condoleezza Rice fiasco. I think there is something somebody wants to keep the American peoples attention off of... New season of Barney? Aliens? Dinty Moore Beef Stew in a new resealable pouch? Not sure, but mark my words... "something wicked this way comes."

then again, just my opinion,

manteca

Monday, March 29, 2004
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Confusing Wisdom with Fame

Famous Idiots

Here are a few favs....


      "That's right, a peacenik is voting for a general. What a country! I believe that Wesley Clark will end this war. He will make the rich pay their fair share of taxes. He will stand up for the rights of women, African Americans, and the working people of this country. And he will cream George W. Bush. I have met Clark and spoken to him on a number of occasions, feeling him out on the issues but, more importantly, getting a sense of him as a human being."
   Micheal Moore

      "I think the actions of the president are, in my opinion, the most vile and hateful words ever spoken by a sitting president, O'Donnell said on the program. I am stunned and I'm horrified."
   Rosie O'Donnell (Concerning the proposed ammendment for banning gay marriage)

      The mainstream media does not have a liberal bias. . . . ABC, CBS, NBC, CNN, the New York Times, The Washington Post, Time, Newsweek and the rest -- at least try to be fair.
   Al Franken (If he can't see it in this new Dick Clark Fiasco, then there is no educating him.)

      "I'm extremely lucky," Franken said. "I'm lucky God gave me some gifts. I don't have a formal religion, even though I'm Jewish, but I've been extremely blessed. I have a wife I've been married to for 27 years and two great kids. But the idea that this is all my doing and I don't owe anything to anybody for it... That fuels the anger against people who are wealthy and equally blessed. They believe they don't owe anything to anybody else. They're entitled to their tax cut at a time when people at the bottom are losing Medicaid."
   Al Franken (What does this even mean? I want to take care of the sick and the disabled, but you can't tell me we need to use 53% of the 2.3 trillion dollar budget to use on social programs. This country was not founded on great social programs. We can't give money away to make this country better. We all gotta work hard

PERIOD

What about the extracurricular activities though...

I agree with "PERIOD," but what about all the good GAY extracurricular activities out there? Matt and I are considering a road trip out West. Why? Well, who wouldn't want the chance to heckle fags on bull's? That's why we need to go to the Arizona Gay Rodeo! Boy, that brings a whole new meaning to "Steers and Queers!" I bet Wild Bill Hickock is turning over in his grave. Just in case some of you want to apply, I have included the application for membership.

my favorite picture.

These are the members of Mr. Charlies nightclub waiting before the Grand Entry (Out of a big closet) at the Arizona gay rodeo.

I have a feeling the phrase "my little buckaroo" was used SEVERAL times at that event!


then again, just my opinion,

manteca

It's the Plumbing, Stupid.


Again I say: There are really only two views.

Natural (i.e. Big Bang and eons of evos) or Supernatural (God)

I just don't understand how one uses a screwdriver to screw a screwdriver. I have been doing some thinking on how plumbing works and again I come to the all encompassing question, why?

I love my friends. I have enjoyed in the past, having a friend as a roommate. I can tell you I feel strongly about some of my friends, but none of those feelings involve leather or vaseline. So what makes my relationships different then two "loving and caring" fags? Well, it is the leather and the vaseline.

I found some societal conjecture on the internet concerning the evolution of the lagalized gay marriage issue. Here are 4 great points that i had not thought about.

1. With the legalization of homosexual marriage, every public school in the nation will be required to teach that this perversion is the moral equivalent of traditional marriage between a man and a woman. Textbooks, even in conservative states, will have to depict man/man and woman/woman relationships, and stories written for children as young as elementary school, or even kindergarten, will have to give equal space to homosexuals.


2. From that point forward, courts will not be able to favor a traditional family involving one man and one woman over a homosexual couple in matters of adoption. Children will be placed in homes with parents representing only one sex on an equal basis with those having a mom and a dad. The prospect of fatherless and motherless children will not be considered in the evaluation of eligibility. It will be the law.


3. Foster-care parents will be required to undergo "sensitivity training" to rid themselves of bias in favor of traditional marriage, and will have to affirm homosexuality in children and teens.


4.How about the impact on Social Security if there are millions of new dependents that will be entitled to survivor benefits? It will amount to billions of dollars on an already overburdened system. And how about the cost to American businesses? Unproductive costs mean fewer jobs for those who need them. Are state and municipal governments to be required to raise taxes substantially to provide health insurance and other benefits to millions of new "spouses and other dependents"?

These are all great, but lets see what the creator had to say

Malachi 2:15 reads, referring to husbands and wives, "Has not the Lord made them one? In flesh and spirit they are His. And why one? Because He was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth" (NIV).

Signed,

PERIOD

Sunday, March 28, 2004
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Intervention...

It appears to many that Seashell is having problems with drugs and that we possibly need to schedule and intervention. Unfortunately, those are rather expensive, and so we must begin soliciting donations to pay for the "Standard A-Team Rescue/Intervention." It will involve Mr. T. Driving a black van, a stereo to play the A-Team theme on, three ice cubes, a stuffed donkey, and a nine iron. My sources tell me that this will cost in the tens of dollars, so we will need lots of help in funding this endeavor.

In other news, it appears that I am attending a school with a rather decent basketball team... Who would have figured. To top it off, the guys and I ate at chilies tonight, and of all people guess who sat in the seat across from us? It was none other than Eddie Sutton...

Jeff C.

Saturday, March 27, 2004
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Stupid is as stupid does

We live in an amazing time. Not only has technology made our lives comfortable, it give us the ability to grasp knowledge that previously would have never been available. This has also allowed man to become much more intelligent. As the human intellect grows larger, mankind is blessed with those that can move us into a bigger, better, brighter future...This isn't about any of those people...

I heard the most intriguing album of my life this evening. It was about all the "good" things in the world. I think you should all rush out and buy it...


The next president of the United States??? I seriously doubt it...We go from A democrat who never served to a traitor...


Same Guy? Well, they have the same intellect... one is pretending to be an American soldier, and the other is Jim Nabors!


and what is this about killing a rabbit? I am confused...

manteca

Friday, March 26, 2004
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My favorite part of flying...

I often talk to people who just can't understand the passion I have for aviation. It's a bug, it really is. You either have it, or you don't, and if you don't you can never be made to understand why we do it. Aviation as a whole is made up of many parts, not all of them aircraft related. This brings me to one of my favorite parts of flying: courtesy cars.

A friend and I were soliciting donations for our OSU Flying Aggies fund raising banquet that we have coming up here in a few weeks, and we decided to prop on over to Tulsa and drop off some solicitation letters at a couple of the local airport businesses. We flew over, dropped off the letters, and asked if we could get a courtesy car from the FBO. Courtesy cars are usually old, ratted out Ford P.O.S.'s. This time, without any making us buy any fuel, show any ID, or any time limit at all, gave us the keys to a brand, spankin' new Chevy Z71 4x4. This truck might have cost as much as the airplane we flew in on. We abused our privileges, zipped around town a bit and returned the truck to the FBO. Then we hopped back in our plane, flew 10 miles from Tulsa Riverside Airport to Tulsa International Airport and did it all over again. This time, we were once again given access to the car without buying fuel, showing ID, or given any time limit. Disappointment, however, as this one was a late 90's Ford Taurus. Oh well, nothing beats the '69 Land Yacht that we got at Conway, AR a few years ago. Large engine, bald tires, no suspension... it was sweet.

Ciao,
Jeff C.

Thursday, March 25, 2004
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Absolute Power Corrupts...

Absolutely not! At least, not for me. Manteca put me in charge of the Tagboard, so watch your P's and Q's... or I will visit upon thee a mighty wrath not seen since... uh... the last post was deleted.

And one for Eric: Penis.

Jeff C.

Wouldn't it be great if the Japanese Market was called "The Wang."

Is is a bull or a bear wang?

   It looks like the Dow is close to falling below 10,000. I can hear it already: What is this president doing all day? Does he not know that the button to raise the Dow, make more jobs, and defeat all terrorists, to get rid of sin, and to usher in the second coming is right next to his freakin' bed. Why hasn't he pushed the button? I want an independent counsel determining when they installed that button and if George Bush broke his finger on purpose so he wouldn't have to push the button. And do you realize that our chances of getting mad cow disease, losing our jobs, bombed by terrorist and being hit by a meandering planetoid has dramatically increased since Bush has got into office. I mean come on, Bush! How dare you allow Haliburton to drill on asteroids without the consent of the UN. That is my oil, too.

   So when the Dow hits 9999.99, we are going to see so many reports telling us how Bush wants it this way or that he is too dumb to realize what is going on. Who in their right mind really think that the President has something to do with jobs. The President can help sign in policies that create an environment for the free market to flourish or wither. Lets think about it for one moment and look at the real numbers of the end of the 90's. Bob Novak on CNN in August of 2002 had this .

      The Commerce Department's Bureau of Economic Analysis quarterly estimates before-tax profits of domestic non-financial corporations, releasing the information the last week of the month following the quarter. Revised figures last week showed profits were really lower by 10.7 percent, 12.2 percent, 15.2 percent and 18 percent for the four quarters of 1999. In 2000, this gap became a chasm. The revised quarterly profits for the election year are lower than the announced figures by 23.3 percent, 25.9 percent, 29.9 percent and 28.2 percent.
(All raw numbers are in this story).

    We had a recession then the largest attack on American soil and our economy is doing pretty dang good. The unemployment numbers are exactly where they were at in 1996 when Clinton was running for re-election. I don't remember hearing much about job numbers in '96. First here are the Employment Numbers of January 2001(which is interesting because the Dems called them employment numbers during Clinton's terms and unemployment numbers now) and here are the numbers for February 2004. The total workforce in January 2001 was about 142 million and the number of people working was 136 million which leaves 6 million people sitting at home watching' Springer or looking for a job or a welfare addict. (here is the CURE) The total workforce in February 2004 was 146.5 million and the amount of people working was 138.3 million which leaves 8 million unemployed. The total workforce grew by 4 million and the workers grew by 2.1 million. Is it really fair to say that the President has lost America 3 million jobs? Even if the 3 million number was correct is is it still fair to say that Bush lost the jobs? It looks like more people are working now then in 2001. I think that the fair thing to say is that the recession and the Twin Towers incident created a economy that couldn't keep up with the total workforce. I believe that we should be in a worse situation then we are in now. I mean in the EU that are happy with 8.8 percent. If Chirac or Schroeder had our unemployment numbers don't you think they would tout those numbers?

   I thought that you guys would like to see my type again. I know that you have missed me and my excellent banter.

Finger pointing...as American as asbestos cancer...

If I hear one more thing about 9/11 I think I may lose my mind. Whose fault is it... well, it would be those crazy towel heads who hijacked the planes and flew them into the buildings. The way we Americans have to blame someone for EVERYTHING is ridiculous. Does it always have to be someone's fault? Why can't we just chalk some of it up to bad timing, dumb luck or even Murphy's law. Why does it always have to be blamed on a individual or specific group? I say we blame GreenPeace. I mean, come on, don't we all hate those dolphin kissers?

I also wish they would leave President Bush alone. My favorite is the accusations that he is murdering our troops...hahaha! You know, at least he has taken the bull by the horns. If Al Queda were American citizens, they could rape and murder all they want, and we would give them a beautiful jail cell with central heat and air, an education, good food, color t.v., and conjugal visits (that's not including those in the shower area). I know...here I go rambling on again. New law...Presidential election is a Texas Cage match between John Kerry (*Vietnam vet gone pussy) against George Bush. My money is on Bush, he is from Texas, and that's where the Von Erich Family (Famous wrestling family) is from.

You know I found this great picture on a hate Bush site. Funny thing is, I agree with it and believe that it should be adopted by the Bush administration.

then again...just my opinion...

manteca

*I would like it to be known that I truly respect the men and women who fought in Vietnam. They are, like the soldiers fighting in Iraq, doing their duty. Shame on John Kerry!

Wednesday, March 24, 2004
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The Liberals: They Walk Amongst Us...

I wish these PETA freaks would make up their minds. First, we can't be cruel to animals (and rightly so.) Animals shouldn't be tortured unless there is a damn good reason for it. Preserving human life is about the only reason that is damn good enough in my personal opinion. However, when you start telling me that I can't kill animals to put them out of their misery, then we have a problem. This lady was just being nice, but her pansy-ass, liberal students had apparently seen Bambi one too many times. Weekly rant: over.

Secondly, props to Manteca for reinstating the Tagboard. However, I urge all "Taggers" to be mindful of what you post. We Convoginators like feedback, but keep in mind that it's a two way street. You certainly have a right to your opinions, but we also have a right to ours. Don't be a pussy and hide behind the anonymity of the tagboard. If you want to criticize our posts, be man (or woman), and do so in a professional manner.

Sorry guys, I'll try to have something funny and/or ridiculous next time.

Jeff C.

There...Ya Big Crybaby!!

So I have replaced the tagboard for Jeff...WHAT A BIG BABY! I hope that everyone will use it wisely and not piss me off.

'nough said...

manteca

Tuesday, March 23, 2004
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Tagboard...

Western Texas, much like western Oklahoma is about the most worthless land available. If you ever get the chance to fly over it, I would strongly caution against it. To quote a friend and fellow aviator, "They don't have things there..."

Secondly, the crux of my post: the tagboard situation. I know we had an incident, but I know for certain that the victim didn't care that much. I also know that the tagboard's absence has been troubling to some of our readers; they, like me, mourn its passing. Therefore, I feel obligated to move that we reinstate the tagboard. (As per Convoginators Code of Conduct, we will need a second before a vote is called.) Whatever the outcome of the vote, it must be approved by Manteca, the Grand Poo Bah, because let's face it, he runs the show around here. So come on Head Squirrel, let's give the people what they want. If we have another incident, then just let those of us not associated with a certain institution deal with it.

Jeff C.
Made on my stupid "Windoze" machine.

Monday, March 22, 2004
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I can't leave you guys alone for one minute...

I'm back from the mountains. What an exciting trip! Jeff, you will appreciate that I got to visit the 5th highest airport in the U.S.; Eagles Nest (Angelfire) New Mexico. The snow was all gone, except for the ski slopes, and it was a beautiful 74 degrees. I also got to visit the Vietnam Veterans National Memorial. Very interesting and informative.

Oh yeah, and West Texas is a pimple on tthe butt of the scenic beauty of this country.

manteca

Sunday, March 21, 2004
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Dell Technical Support...

Tuesday Night appoximately 5:30 p.m
I called Dell Tech Support and after 30 minutes of repeating myself to 4 different people, i finally got through to someone of a descent level of intelligence, and i finally got it through to him that i didnt have a software problem, and that they needed to fix my shiz.

Wednesday Morning exactly 9:38 p.m
A guy from airborne express is at my house w/a box for me to ship my computer off.

Friday Afternoon approximately Noon
My laptop arrives at my house in hope, w/a brand new motherboard and bios.

NOW THATS WHAT I CALL SOME DANG SERVICE.
but now im back in hope, and im using dial up internet, and i think im gonna have to send it back, caz im gonna throw it on the ground if it doesnt get any faster...

Saturday, March 20, 2004
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Spring Broken?

My spring break started with a wimper and ended with a louder wimper. Although my week consisted of some interesting moments including aiding the spawning of a certain species of fish, it concluded with me laying 240 square feet of ceramic tile. It was rather like a Trading Spaces episode without the cute, yet quirky Paige Davis running around. Ten hours of manual labor went into 240 square feet and I was finally able to get to bed at around 2:00 A.M. I awoke this morning sore in joints I didn't even know I had. Needless to say, I have gained a fair amount of respect for "The Working Man" now, and am sooooo glad that I'm going to college so I can hopefully get a career that doesn't require much manual labor. I'm Stillwater-bound tomorrow with an ice chest full of home-made goodness that will probably last me the week before I'm back to whatever I can scrounge up myself or stomach from restaurants.

Jeff C.

Tuesday, March 16, 2004
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WTF Mates?!?!

So apparently spring break in Hope is just as boring as it is in Stillwater. At least here there is home-cooking and more than basic cable. (I do miss the Hitler, err... History Channel in Stillwater.) So my evening consisted of watching "Raising the Kursk", and "NYPD Blue" (viewer discretion advised) while eating spaghetti cooked by someone else. I think I can con my grandmother into making seafood gumbo, so you know it's gonna be a great couple of days (at least in the meal department.)

Manteca, have fun falling down the mountain. Don't pull a Sonny Bonno. Eric, swipe me some iTunes Pepsi. And P... I can only imagine the crazy antics...

Jeff C.

i dont have a computer....

yesterday i called Dell Tech support, and 43 minutes later, they finally agreed to fix it, anyways this morning a Dell guy was at my house at 9 o clock in the morning. HOW!?! i talked to them at 5 o clock yesterday, and they have a box for my laptop to be shipped in, in less than 16 hours. So thats half of my computers, and the other half has died :(, the stupid thing wont reload caz i dont have the right drivers for the RAID, so i dont have a computer now, im using my roommates and it SUX. so i wont be online for a while... i have 2943 tests this week....

On the road again...

It's time for me to hit the road on a family vacation. I know, family vacations are nothing but trouble waiting to happen. I feel pretty sure that everything will be OK. We are heading out West to visit the sister in New Mexico. I am also going to do a bit of skiing whilst there. I know you are laughing now. I can ski. Really! Okay, actually it is a semi-controlled belly slide down the mountain with skis on. Hey, I accomplish the goal...get down the mountain with the skis on. HAHAHA!!

Anyway, I won't be back until Sunday night. So Jeff, you are in charge of keeping the blog a rollin'. Eric, you have been classified MIA. Seriously, where are thou Eric? Hath the BP finally taken over your soul? Will the Yoo Hoo man get the delivery to the BP in time. Will Eric's trusty Mississippi/Indonesian sidekick, Larry-Joe Abundabi safely remove the Now and Laters from the fat customers dead hands? STAY TUNED!!!

See you guys on the other side,

manteca

Sunday, March 14, 2004
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Post, the Fourth...

And finally, the last post of the day, which as far as I know secures for me the title of "most blogged day ever" on Convoginators. I'd like to thank the people that made this possible. I'd also like to continue lamenting the circumstances that brought about this unfortunate honor: my sheer boredom. It occurred to me, somewhere in between my last blog, and this one that some of you may be underestimating the boredom, so try this out for size:

11:20 AM - Awoke
11:20-11:45 AM - laid in bed contemplating the effects of spraypaint on conduit
11:46-12:10 - Shower - contemplated the meaning of life.
12:11 - checked email & consumed Jell-O
12:12 - checked Foxnews.com
12:13-12:45 - Checked Convoginators, Spymac political corner, and tonguetied.us
12:46 - Drove to Flight Center to fill out time card
12:52 - Left flight center, Wal-Mart inbound
1:00 - Arrived at Wal-Mart, remembered why I stopped going there
1:03 - Secured all necessary items for fajitas, standing in line for checkout
1:15 - Was finally able to pay and leave thanks to the world's slowest cashier
1:20 - Arrived home, cooked fajitas
1:30 - Consumed fajitas, watched Southpark re-run
2:06 - Post the First
2:20 - Fajitas and Southpark exhausted, continue web surfing
2:30 - Exhaust interesting websites, begin contemplating the word "contemplate."
2:32 - Decide it would be a good idea to clean firearms.
2:35 - begin looking for disconnector spring to Makarov pistol which egressed itself from the frame upon disassembly.
2:40 - Found disconnector spring, finish cleaning firearm, reassemble
2:42 - notice that the TransAm next door has started
2:43 - Start scheming for a way to silence it
2:52 - Take a break from scheming, have a Pepsi (free song from iTunes music store!)
2:53 - Redeem free song at ITMS - (Rick James - Ghetto Life)
2:54 - Continue scheming
3:00 - Washed a load of towels
3:10 - Forgot which day it was
3:15 - Fell over & nearly burned hand
3:16-4:12 - stared at ceiling contemplating the role of time as the fourth dimension
4:13 - Post the Second
4:45-5:00 - stared at ceiling contemplating how old the plaster on the ceiling really is...
5:00-7:00 - Watched DVD - "The Patriot"
7:30 - consumed two cans of Chef Boi Arde (sp?) Ravioli, more southpark
7:54 - Post the Third
7:55 - 9:30 - MSN conversation with Garrett
9:31-10:07 - Studied for Flight Instructor Knowledge Test
10:08 - Post the Fourth

Well, that's it, sheer boredom. Thankfully, I've got stuff to do the next couple of days. I'm flying about five times in the next three days, and then I'm going home... I can't take too much of this place anymore. I need some good old-fashioned home cooking and some parents and grand-parents that will try and spoil me... That's it folks, no more marathon posting for me, this quantity over quality bit is really not all it's cracked up to be. I'm off to a more irregular schedule now.

"Worst Episode Ever..."
Jeff C.

Post, the Third...

And the third one for the day (is this a Convogination Record?) I have been fuming all afternoon because of My Redneck Neighbor. Apparently Sunday afternoon is the perfect time to work on one's intemperately loud vehicle. I thought of several methods to silence it, but considering what I came up with, it might be a good idea to lay off the Jell-O for a while...


Fear not, Post the Fourth is bound to make an appearance... if I'm conscious.
Jeff C.

I miss the Tagboard!

Somebody is REALLY bored!!

So I think the bad jello incident got to Jeff. I think he must have gotten a bad box of Orange Jello. Also, in the future, it is a cup of cold water, NOT PGA that you stir into the mix. The captain was so distruaght/inebriated that he went on a little kamikaze flying sting. Then on a bet, crash landed on top of a pickup truck.



Captain, leave those illegals alone!

manteca

Fun facts about your city!

Well, well, well... number two for the day, and probably not the last. This one, however, is probably a little more informative than Post the First. I found a great website that has all kinds of neat and interesting facts about various cities across the United States. First, I looked up my hometown of Hope, AR. Let's see what kind of interesting snippets we can find:

Hope compared to Arkansas state average:

* Median household income below state average.
* Median house value significantly below state average.
* Unemployed percentage above state average.
* Black race population percentage significantly above state average.
* Institutionalized population percentage above state average.
* Number of college students below state average.
* Percentage of population with a bachelor's degree or higher significantly below state average.

For population 25 years and over in Hope city

* High school or higher: 65.3%
* Bachelor's degree or higher: 10.3%
* Graduate or professional degree: 4.1%
* Unemployed: 8.7%
* Mean travel time to work: 16.8 minutes

Crime in Hope (2001):

* 2 murders (18.8 per 100,000)
* 3 rapes (28.3 per 100,000)
* 8 robberies (75.4 per 100,000)
* 46 assaults (433.3 per 100,000)
* 132 burglaries (1243.4 per 100,000)
* 313 larceny counts (2948.4 per 100,000)
* 29 auto thefts (273.2 per 100,000)
* City-data.com crime index = 366.2 (higher means more crime, US average = 330.6)


Wow, that's just a little disturbing. Now let's check out Stillwater, OK.
Stillwater compared to Oklahoma state average:

* Black race population percentage significantly below state average.
* Median age significantly below state average.
* Foreign-born population percentage above state average.
* Renting percentage above state average.
* Length of stay since moving in significantly below state average.
* Number of college students significantly above state average.
* Percentage of population with a bachelor's degree or higher above state average.

For population 25 years and over in Stillwater city

* High school or higher: 91.6%
* Bachelor's degree or higher: 48.0%
* Graduate or professional degree: 22.5%
* Unemployed: 5.4%
* Mean travel time to work: 13.9 minutes

Crime in Stillwater (2001):

* 0 murders (0.0 per 100,000)
* 11 rapes (28.2 per 100,000)
* 13 robberies (33.3 per 100,000)
* 61 assaults (156.2 per 100,000)
* 292 burglaries (747.5 per 100,000)
* 931 larceny counts (2383.2 per 100,000)
* 61 auto thefts (156.2 per 100,000)
* City-data.com crime index = 212.6 (higher means more crime, US average = 330.6)

A rather odd assortment of facts, but there are more available from the website. Does anyone else find it kind of odd that they have "Black Race Population Percentage" in the quick facts section? You'd think the NAACP and/or Rainbow/PUSH, ACLU, DNC, and BYOCP would be all over that. Anyway, have fun looking stuff up... if you can stomach some of the data.

Jeff C.



There's always room for?

Well folks, prepare thyselves, as another boring day will undoubtedly bring with it a great-many post from yours truly. Anyway, I got up this morning to reap the fruit of my labor last night. I made Jell-O. There's always room for it, especially orange Jell-O. I digress, as I was saying, I got up this morning to consume mass quantities of the gelatinous substance when I discovered that something was awry. About half of it was of the usual consistency, but the other half was like a Jiggler from Hell! Seriously, it felt like tire-quality rubber. Am I a piece of work or what? I mean, I managed to f#(|< up Jell-O! And that's the news from KSWO...

Jeff C.

Saturday, March 13, 2004
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Ghost Town...

Now I understand why I have always left town on Spring Break. Stillwater is a ghost town. That's right, there is literally no one here... that knows me from Adam's house cat. I spent all day sleeping, watching DVD's, and cleaning house. Two of which are activities that I usually only resort to after becoming extremely bored. All of my friends have left for more exotic places: St. Thomas, Hawaii, Colorado, Germany, Texas, etc; I'm stuck here listening to the cacophony generated by the TransAm next door. It's actually true that the biggest hobbies in Stillwater on a break are drinking and suicide.


Oklahoma State University, circa Spring 2004


In other news, McDonald's is running a two-for-one special on their Apple Pies! I think I need a frosti from Wendy's now...

Contemplating Frosti's,
Jeff C.

P.S. I miss the tagboard!


Thursday, March 11, 2004
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I wear my sunglasses at night...

One of these days, I'm going to own an airplane as crusty as this old beast.




They just don't build 'em like they used to...


Jeff C.

Wednesday, March 10, 2004
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speaking of neighbors...

i live in an apartment complex so i have people all around me, but the worst group is the overweight female group of tap dancers that live up stairs. Im not 200% sure that their actually tap dancers, but when they get off work at like 3 in the morning, they start doing some sort of dance, i say tap but it could be anything, maybe an interpretive dance or ribbon, im not sure yet, all i know is its LOUD.

My redneck neighbor...

It appears my neighbor likes loud cars. When I say loud, I mean that the archaic, loose-belted, muffler-deprived behemoth of a TransAm that parks five feet from my bedroom window actually shakes my house. Furthermore, this fine-car connoisseur is meticulous about care and maintenance for his vehicle. He refuses to take his vehicle anywhere until it has warmed up for at least five to ten minutes. After he returns from an evening's drive, he refuses to shut it down until it has idled for another five to ten minutes. He also works on his car weekly with thirty minutes to an hour of idling and revving... the latter shakes the entire house and is probably responsible for our suspicious lack of house-pests. A dog two blocks away howls like mad whenever he hears (or more than likely feels) the car start up. My brother an I are contemplating methods to "hush-kit" his vehicle and/or get our own JT-8D jet engine set up in the backyard to compete with him in terms of annoyance. "Check it out, bitch! We rigged up an afterburner!"

Feeling rather annoyed, I searched the world wide web and discovered that other people have been "blessed" with similar neighbors, although this guy seems to have much more entertaining problems.

contemplating "loud,"
Jeff C.

Tuesday, March 09, 2004
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Aerial Recon...

I have to admit, I've flown around Stillwater a great deal. So much, in fact, that I hardly ever find something new and exciting to look at. Every now and then, however, I find something so bizarre that I must question the sanity of the poor, hapless land-based mammals. Most recently, I've uncovered a Pyramid, and a sign that is seemingly directed at the general flying public.


The "marry me" sign is rather fascinating, but I have become slightly disturbed at the length of time in which it has remained visible... in fact, it appears to have a fresh coat of paint on it. Well, that's the news from KSWO... I miss the tagboard.

Jeff C.

Sickness and things that annoy me...

So I have been sick for the past few days. I mean nasty sick. Oh well, gives me time to lay around and contemplate death. Actually, I have read, watched t.v., read, surfed the web, read, and finally eaten (as much as my new "diet" will allow).

So you know, there is a ton of trash on the old television. I mean, there is nothing to watch unless you want to fix it, remodel it, or try and make it in the wild. What a boring world. Whatever happen to great shows like the "Banana Splits?" NOW there was a great show. Not only were the hosts intelligent and entertaining, the cartoons that were shown were superior to any of the trash today. Also, the live action shorts they had were the BOMB...like "Danger Island." Chongo was the man!

So...in collusion (HAHAHAHA), when President George W. Bush forces Congress to make "Danger Island" mandatory viewing, he will have the race wrapped up!

manteca

What else would it be?

A mangina is a mix between a man and vagina. Just a better word for a girly man like matthew.

Mangina?

Maybe I missed something... What is a mangina? Eric, are you sniffing glue?

manteca

Monday, March 08, 2004
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i remember when....

i remeber when paul was a mangina, haha... times sure have changed. What was on the little message thing that bothered you so much manteca? well... i finally saw the passion movie, and i usually am a very opinionated person but, i really dont have any thing at all to say about it. i would hate to have to be the one to critique that movie, caz it really just leaves you w/o words... anywayz, i prefer the convoginators to be referred to not as las vegas, but as the green mile... what happens on the mile stays on the mile... now its time to kill that dang mouse, and pee on myself!!!

Ahh, the liberals that care...

The tag board has been removed. Looks like we had some future preachers and AA counselors who decided to give Paul advice about his life. HAHAHA!! I think Paul knows who he is, what he is doing and where he is going. This website is no longer worried about the opinions of others.

Paul is the liberal mouth here! The rest of us are crazy communists. No one shall talk bad about anyone on this site except us! If you don't like it, don't visit.

The convoginators is like Las Vegas...What happens here, stays here!!

manteca

Somewhere in the middle...

Can't we all just get along? Let's just put aside our differences and get back to some good 'ol convoginatin'. So long as they are differences I can get along with...

Jeff C.

P.S. Paul, when is your spring break? "Send a brotha an email..."

Friday, March 05, 2004
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I am slowly dying...of starvation!

So, you guys know I'm fat. Yeah, that's a shocker. It is a well known fact that I like the food. Any food, preferably something in a double, with cheese. Unfortunately, I am not getting any younger and the old body is starting to show signs of wear and tear (please stop laughing, it's not very polite). At the urging of the family, yes the whole family, I have decided to go on a diet.

The diet I chose is the Atkin's Diet plan. This diet is quite interesting, first you must go through induction (sounds like a secret fraternity ritual). Induction is the path to ketosis, the "enlightenment" of the Atkin's Diet plan. Induction must last 2 weeks. I am on day 7. The cool part is that you can eat all the meat that you want. You guys KNOW I am a carnivore of epic proportions. I have to tell you though, the meat thing can get old. I have had meat, cheese, eggs and a small bit of salad greens until I feel like a runway model for the Subway low-carb sandwich tour. I must tell you the absence of bread is the hard one.

The good news?!?! Soon I will be svelte. I mean Mr. Olympus! I know you are jealous! These things happen, fat people do get skinny, and when they get skinny, they flaunt it. I plan on flauntng it, and then enjoying gaining it all back!

Now...in all reality, I will be lucky to make it through the weekend. I see myself falling off the wagon with 2 Double Quarter Pounders with cheese, a stuffed steak burrito from Taco Bell, Hot and Spicy chicken sandwich from Wendy's and 2 or 3 foot long cheese Coneys from the Sonic...oh yeah, and a Route 44 Diet Coke...

Be Free and Eat Healthy,

manteca

Thursday, March 04, 2004
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This smells fishy...

I'm usually not one to dote on the small things in life. However, I have noticed a rather strange pattern and some odd drama unfolding behind my house in the past few weeks. The city graciously disposes of my trash for me and comes to my neighborhood to pick it up every Tuesday and Friday. Being a nice, caring individual, I bought two identically cheap garbage cans from my local Wal-mart to keep my back alley from looking like Tobacco Road. This seemed to work well for a few weeks, until I noticed one fine day that my garbage can was missing (I kept one by the road, and one by the house for yard clippings.) Perplexed, I brought out can number 2 and continued business as usual. The next day, can number 2 was AWOL just like can the first. I don't mind saying that I was thoroughly pissed off at first. The next day, however, I noticed that a garbage can was sitting where mine used to be. It was a different make and model, but a garbage can nonetheless, so I elected to use it. Surprise, surprise, it disappeared two days later and yet another garbage can appeared. This one was metal. It survived two weeks and now it is MIA. I have yet to receive a replacement trashcan from the Trashcan Gnomes, or whoever is perpetrating this heinous atrocity.



It was about that time, that I noticed that my neighbors have a rather odd assortment of trashcans as well. I wonder if they are being visited by the same individual or individuals who are haunting my trash-disposal containers. Yet another piece of the puzzle was discovered on my morning drive to the airport not two weeks ago. As I was passing a residential neighborhood, I noticed a garbageman pick up a trashcan and instead of emptying its contents into the truck, toss the entire can in and head to the next house. I wonder... where are the replacement cans coming from?

contemplating trashcans,
Jeff C.

i agree/disagree w/you captain

i love when teachers dont take role BUT at the same time, i dont have the self discipline to go if its not required, hence my current low gpa. but you do make a good argument, i never thought of it like that before. i set the convoginators as my homepage to encourage myself to post more often. OH YEAH!!!! i went to Amanda Jones' Website, you have to go there, its the funniest thing ive ever seen... nuff said

Wednesday, March 03, 2004
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For those about to rock...

Back from Geology Lab, and as it passes, it gets more and more boring. The only highlight of lab was when two of the girls on the softball team brought cookies.

In other news, I hate aviation management. There's too much management, and not enough aviation. Furthermore, the material centers around buzzwords and encourages nothing more than rote learning. To be perfectly honest, I don't mind classes that are a waste of my time, I only object when the teacher's REQUIRE my attendance. My time is valuable, and if I don't feel that I need to go to class, then that's my perogative. I'm the freakin' customer here, I pay the teacher's salary. I'm the customer, and they have the gall to treat me like a public-school student. It's true, folks, college is the only place I know of where you pay to get screwed... well... almost.

contemplating "customer,"
Jeff C.

Tuesday, March 02, 2004
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haha

i just now noticed that those posts that i posted the other night were on this one. i was trying to post on other peoples blog, but it didnt work.... actually i guess you could say it back fired, but i guess it had to come out, i love to play w/ my self.

oh yeah.... manteca, i wouldnt worry about one student from that school's comment, caz you know what they say about students at that high school.... their stupid.

I guess it had to happen...

I never in a million years thought that Mel Gibson's movie would actually cause any problems. Today it did. I had a student tell me that they hated me... See, they were right it has caused hatred and anti-pokemon sentiment.

This student always tells me that they hate me and I'm not Jewish...so does that count?? I'll go ahead and let the whale huggers have that one...

manteca

Is Eric planning a trip to San Francisco?

I'm a little concerned about Eric. First he calls Paul a homosexual and thens threatens a lewd sex act upon Paul's person. Now he has double posted a Penis column. I knew it... a liberal college like UCA and now he is flirting with trading teams. DON'T DO IT ERIC! The uniforms might be nicer, but the pay ain't much better... and the fringe benefits...YIKES!

manteca

Thanks blogger, the links at the top are about gay websites...sheesh!

Monday, March 01, 2004
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PENIS PENIS PENIS

sometimes when nobody is watching, i like to play w/myself

Google Toolbar For President

So i was looking at my google toolbar, and it had an option to "blog this" and i used it, and its awesome. well... it seems as if all has cooled off between the gays and the straights, actually im lying, because today i got my haircut at the JC Penny's hair salon (the only thing open on a Monday), and i had a FAG cut my hair, and i figured i would endure it b/c FAGS seem to be generaly good at grooming, but not this one, my hair looks like crap, so i crapped on his face... err.. i mean i didnt tip him.


 
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