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Saturday, February 28, 2004
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Federal Reserve Notes...
So the other day, a friend of mine asked the cashier in Arby's if they took "federal reserve notes." He replied that he didn't think so. This guy just looked at him and asked, "You mean you guys don't take CASH?" The look on the cashier's face was priceless...
In other, similarly pointless news, I had enough time this past weekend to produce a new movie. Give it a little bit of time as it's 12 megs, and streaming from Manteca's wonderfully donated bandwidth. It's just me, and the other tools from the flight team, so enjoy.
If you don't have Quicktime, then you're going to need it...
Jeff C.
Kings and pawns...
That is all we are folks, chess pieces in this game of life. Some, are but pawns, others with more power, Knights, Rooks, and even Kings. Each with different abilities, different weaknesses, and not suprisingly, different goals. The only thing EVERY piece has in common is that they are all on the same chessboard. They must interact with one-another, based on the nature of the game.
Personally, I completely disapprove of same-sex marriage. I believe that wide-spread acceptance of such an immoral act is what ultimately caused the downfall of several historic societies. However, I am a firm-believer in the Constitution of the United States of America, and the ideals and principles set forth by our "Founding Fathers." I'm not particularly as mad at the fact that San Francisco is allowing same-sex marriages, as I am the way with which they are doing it. If you wish to change a law, there are procedures in place with which to do that and make certain that you are acting in accordance to what the will of the people. Giving the legislative system the finger, and declaring that you are going to do something anyway is a slap in the face of every framer of the Constitution. The "Left Coast" is certainly going unchecked these days, and I think that's a shame. Weekly rant: over.
Oh, and Paul's not really a homo (at least I hope not) he just loves some good comedy, and is apparently corrupted by the liberal professors of college. Have strength, Paul. Laughter does not necessarily mean approval.
Jeff C.
Friday, February 27, 2004
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So its apparent PAUL IS A FAGGOT!!!
paul your such a homo... next time i see you, im gonna lick your scrotom, i bet that wont be funny
ps. paul is a homo
errr....
i missed all the comotion(sp?) this week caz well... i have a life... BUT i would just like to say on my behalf
PENIS!!!!
Actually i forgot that Rosie was gay... shoot when i was younger she was in a kids movie i hope that you all remember, Harriet the Spy, the very first Nickelodeon(network for children) movie ever. i used to think she was cool, but i guess it turns out that she was just one of those kids when they were young had that little toy where you fit the pieces togther (cylindrical peice in the round hole), and she could never figure out why you couldnt just rub two of the round holes together...
haha
San Francisco...Home Base for the queer race!
Just noting my last post..."I find this proposed amendment very, very, very, very shocking. And immoral. And, you know, if civil disobedience is the way to go about change, then I think a lot of people will be going to San Francisco." HAHAHAHA!!! I find that very, very, very,very, very, very, very, very,very, very, very, very, very,very, very, very, very, very,very, very, very, very, very,very, very, very, very, very,very, very, very, very, very,very, very, very, very, very,very, very, very, very, very,very, very, ridiculous. San Francisco, Fire Island west.
Yeah, maybe they ALL will go to San Francisco and be civily disobedient. Probably stuff like wearing white shoes out of season. Not moisturizing, doing the bend and snap all over the place. Dressing like straight people. "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" becomes the governing body.
manteca
et tu, Rosie? - Revisited
This post was removed... I actually received about 20 (which is a bunch for this site) emails concerning this rant. Half were supportive, half were people who are concerned about making sure everyone feels good about being themselves...and they cursed and tore me down (that's ironic). In the middle of the night, I woke up and remembered what Rush Limbaugh said "I'd rather go down in flames for being right..." RIGHT! Read on Convoginators...read on!
You better watch out...Rosie O'donnell is getting married... Funny thing is I see her dressed up like Eliza Doolittles father in "My Fair Lady," singing in a gruff male baritone voice, "I'm gettin' married in the mornin'..."
So Rosie is in San "Look Ma' I'm Gay" Francisco today getting married to her longtime sex-slave/partner (the homosexual definition of perverted same-sex sex partner). That's a shocker! Since the show tanked and the magazine went south...(the magazine, real mothers taking advice from a gay women who adopts...hahaha...the irony) Rosie has needed the publicity. I guess she'll get it... Unfortunately for her, she made a few comments on "Good Morning Liberal America" that have pissed off manteca.
First she states, "The only way changes are made in society is when people like Mayor Gavin Newsom have the courage to stand up against injustice." HAHAHAHA! WHAT!! The guy is nothing but a pro-homosexual vigilante. He has taken the law into his own hands. "...the courage to stand up against injustice." I hate rapist, you don't see me taking a courageous stand against injustice by cutting off these criminals penises! THAT WOULD MAKE ME A VIGILANTE!!
"I think the actions of the president are, in my opinion, the most vile and hateful words ever spoken by a sitting president," O'Donnell said on the program (Good Morning Liberal America). "I am stunned and I'm horrified. "I find this proposed amendment very, very, very, very shocking. And immoral. And, you know, if civil disobedience is the way to go about change, then I think a lot of people will be going to San Francisco. And I hope they put more people on the steps to marry as many people as show up. And I hope everyone shows up." Can yo believe the audacity of this person? Vile and hateful?? Vile is two same sex individuals having deviant sex and calling it a "meaningful relationship." Hateful is a sexually oriented group wanting civil rights, social acceptance and more rights than others. My favorite would be the immoral comment. HAHAHAH!!! Marquis De Sade...immoral! Pedophiles...immoral! Homosexuallity...immoral! Procreation by natures design...MORAL! Geez...it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out which parts don't go together... You know, I can mix ketchup into milk as easily as I can chocolate...BUT IT JUST DOESN'T WORK!!
Then again that's just my opinion.
manteca
Thursday, February 26, 2004
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WTF Mates?!?!
Some viewers?!? We have viewers? That aren't "us?" Who could get all pissed off about such a well-composed dissertation on the evils plaguing America? For those who did not get to see "The Post" I can vouch for the fact that it was witty, hard-hitting, pithy, and generally funny. So funny in fact, that I must now go watch My Fair Lady. And now, the get up noise... (get up noise here)
contemplating "viewers"
Jeff C.
e tu, Rosie!
THIS POST HAS BEEN REMOVED! UNFORTUNATELY, SOME VIEWERS WERE OFFENDED AND I DON'T WANT OTHERS POST TO GO UNREAD BECAUSE I'M A CRAZY CONSERVATIVE!!!
Times are tough kids, this country is leaving the techno-color dream and heading into some nasty looking times...
Then again, that's just my opinion,
manteca
Wednesday, February 25, 2004
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Well...IT HAPPENED!!
I was just watching a Greenpeace video on the illegal harvesting of seal skins... Unfortunately, I now have the unbelievable urge to go out and club some seal cubs to death. As if that wasn't enough...I was watching a cops show last night where they were attempting to shut down this drug ring in the ghettos of Chicago... I now want to go out and hurt drug dealers...does that make me anti-drugdealeritic? All of this bad press and now a commercial I saw on the effects of stress on fat people... I hate stress...I hate Fat...well CRAP, I hate myself.
Due to cartoons in my early childhood, I already hate the Decepticons, Cobra, Gargamel from the Smurfs, several goblins and ghoulies that really hated on Scooby Doo, all the bad guys from the Blue Falcon show, most of the evil henchmen from Hong Kong Phooey, Tom Cat, Wyle E. Coyote, Sylvester the Pussy Cat, Fog Horn Leghorn (I do have a true hatred of cocks because of his character), Cruella Devil (this caused a major hatred of fashion designers) and lets not forget that evil vacuum cleaner from the teletubbies. I could go on and on...
Certain religious focus groups (I can't say Jewish, that would make me anti-semitic), liberal tree huggers and "anything for a buck" hollywood critics are right, the entire human race is full of idiots who believe everything on the big screen...thank the Lord we can't think for ourselves and we have these intellectuals to think for us...
You know, there are people out there that watch the Exorcist and worship it...you don't see me hollering, "hey thats anti-Christian...Oh my gosh, the satan worshippers are REALLY gonna hate on us now..."
Then again that's just my opinion,
manteca
Sorry this isn't as funny as the usual stuff. Unfortunately, there is less and less that is funny in this strange old world.
Tuesday, February 24, 2004
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I'm a wacko, he's a wacko, wouldn't you like to be a wacko too...
As I browsed the news today I came across an interesting article. Andy Rooney is a journalist who has always made me giggle. Not only is he funny in a dry way, he is, shall I say...hmmm...eccentric, yeah, that's a nice way to put wacko.
So on the great news show (hint of sarcasm) "60 minutes," Andy ( I shall not refer to him as Mr. Rooney) called Pat Robertson and Mel Gibson "wackos." Actually, he said God told him to that they were wackos. HAHAHAHAHA!!! Andy Rooney cracks me up. WHAT A TOOL! I realize that we say several things on this website that are not PC, socially acceptable, liberal or nice. WHO CARES!! I am not the emmy winning journalist of a long running news magazine. Once again, I am appalled at the fact that these bozos think that when they get their mug on the TV, movie screen or album cover, they are suddenly promoted to the height of "super genius." You know, you keep acting or singing or whatever you do, and leave the hard line thinking to Matthew and the Captain.
Then again... I may be wrong....
manteca
Summer B-Ball
I remember this summer when we had "Tech Horse" at the primary school, when Madlock, Jeff C, and I played horse, and Jeff C. was the victor. That was probably the most embarassing thing i've ever said. Anyways.... i havent been to the blog lately. I missed a bunch of funny stuff. Props to Jeff on the Laser blazer movie poster. But in my head i always saw laser spelled "laZer", maybe thats just me. So i saw the preview for the up and coming show on comedy central called, "Straight Plan for the Gay Man", it made me laugh, if i had cable i would definitely tune in. I saw Copeland the band last night at vinos, and they were awesome... they're coming back in 2 weeks i would definitly recommend your attendence. We played the penis game at the show last night, and we caught the attention of the lead singer of copeland, and he thought it was funny. uhh... PENIS!!
Friday, February 20, 2004
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More Tools Than A Tool Box...
... and more jackasses than a petting zoo. Whatever trophies we don't win at nationals, we'll more than likely steal.
Doesn't this group just make you want to come fly the friendly skies?
Off to find grumblecakes,
Jeff C.
Walk it off...
HOW many times must I tell you ...."WALK IT OFF!!" Sometimes you gotta play hurt!
manteca
Thursday, February 19, 2004
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White Boy Down...
Brace yourselves, for what I am about to tell you may have you laughing so hard that whatever liquids you may have ingested recently will erupt from your nasal cavities with excessive force... I played basketball. More appropriately, I and a bunch of guys on the OSU Flight Team ran haphazardly around the court throwing the ball more or less at the goal for a couple of hours. Boy was I tired. That was undoubtedly the most physical activity I had subjected myself to in all my years of college. After stopping about halfway through for a water/oxygen break, we continued our game using "street rules" and no one called fouls. This was certainly a wise thing to do, as most of us probably didn't know the rules anyway. Regardless, it was a stupid-good time. I woke up the next morning and my right leg didn't want to move, and my calls of "White Boy Down!" went unanswered. I guess I've got to play through the pain.
Off to "work"
Jeff C.
Wednesday, February 18, 2004
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Where's the Beef?!?!?
So... Here in the large metropolis of Hope City all is well. Superman is not needed in a place like this. Why? Well, we really don't have a need for the all invincible super hero. Now an Arby's, thats a completely different subject. I would skin a cat for an Arby's. You know what I mean...every once in a while a guy needs a "French Dip!" Now if superman could rip an Arby's up from any larger city that has one, like Arkadelphia, and drop that bad boy in my backyard, staff and all... Well then, he is more than welcome!
"Yes, I would like 2 French dips, two super roast beef, a giant curly fry and a sprite." - Thats just an appetizer!
So since there is no lovely meat on bread store here... I must use my time wisely. Consider the new book I am reading---->
manteca
Tuesday, February 17, 2004
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One for the Captain and his cat fetish...
I was reviewing disgusting porn sites for the gevernment when I came across this nasty little business. I think it is possibly one of the most disgusting websites out there. So naturally, I had to put a link up to it. For you captain.
LIVE NUDE CATS!manteca
Monday, February 16, 2004
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Wait a minute...
I knew the Spangler Trio looked familiar. They had a rather short acting career:
The picture bypassed theatres and video stores and went straight to infomercials aired during old episodes of Star Trek on the SciFi channel. They later discovered their gift of music and started a band after Corky got out of a Mexican prison.
off to work,
Jeff C.
Sunday, February 15, 2004
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All hope is not lost...
A student group from Roger Williams University in Bristol, RI is offering a scholarship for which only white students are eligible. Intended to parody minority scholarships, it has apparently caused quite an uproar. Props to these folks for fighting the good fight. Maybe one day we can do away with race and gender-based scholarships altogether and base them solely on merit and need, but the Morlocks will probably see to it that we won't. One of these days "equal" is going to mean "equal." weekly rant: over.
In other news, two town names are apparently causing two different types of trouble. Firstly, PETA has a problem with Slaughterville, OK, and a town slogan for Climax, MN (further down the page) is apparently too suggestive. Regardless, I think everyone should bring a friend to Climax. It seems like a nice town, and might be a good place to summer.
back to the grind,
Jeff C.
As the snow blows...
Oh yeah... It is snowing here... Pretty nice. I will post pictures for you soon. I was sitting around remembering one of my favorite groups from the 1950's. The "Spangler Trio."
Here is a picture: 
How about those jackets...we seriously thought this would be a funny picture! we were later arrested.
manteca
Friday, February 13, 2004
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Just for Manteca...
Yeah, I'm bored, but photoshop eases the pain!
Jeff C.
They can clone embryos, yet they are this stupid...
The video says it all... I can't watch it without laughing my butt off...
This is fun also...click "meet the rabbit"
manteca
Thursday, February 12, 2004
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John Kerry flees the country for sex...with Howard Dean hard on his "tail?!?!"
Okay, I know you have been watching this stupid mess with the demcrates and their dog and pony show primary run... These guys are real live idiots. They are also a bunch of super-freak rich pricks. You know the guys... The ones that sat in the parking lot with the expensive stereos booming out of their expensive vehicles, purchased for them by their non-atentive parents. You remember those people, they made fun of the way you walked, talked, dressed, what you drove, what you ate, who you hang out with, your parents, etc., etc.
Anyway, I really dislike them! Now I kow that some of you that participate in this blog and some that read it are "tree huggin', owl-kissin, tofu eatin, liberals." Well, get over it! To be a liberal is to date your sister... Evertime a person joins the democratic party, god kills a kitten...true!
Why can't we all be like these guys????
Listen to some of the CD's
manteca
Monday, February 09, 2004
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Currently Reading: Convoginators... duh!
Ever noticed how a lot of blogs include such trite information as what the author is reading, listening to, watching, touching, smelling, feeling, or digesting? Am I the only one who finds this to be an absolute waste of time and energy? Who really cares what you ate yesterday? I'm more interested in what you have to say than mundane details about your life. Maybe that's why I'm so hooked on political message boards, because people may make dumb arguments, but they usually avoid telling you what they are watching on television unless it is germane to the subject. Weekly rant: over.
So Paul has a sports injury? Reminds me of the time that I got a splinter playing ping pong. Cool sports injury aside, I dare say no one here had a more awesome weekend than me. Yes folks, I rode with Oklahoma City's finest in their super bad-ass and cool McDonnel Douglas MD-500E helicopter. We aviated all over the greater OKC area visiting wrath on all who opposed law, order, and decency that fine evening. Major props to my friend who set that up...
Bed time,
Jeff C.
Saturday, February 07, 2004
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Out of Town...power failure...rat fired!
I have been out of town (the business). Power failure...Server down. The rat I hired to plug in the server to the stack of 2,684 "D" batteries feel asleep on the job...he is now fired! The server will be back up at approximately 10:43 p.m., Saturday, February 7, 2004. Sorry for any inconvenieces... suck it!
manteca
Thursday, February 05, 2004
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The gift that keeps on giving...
Having most of the day off, I was free once again to contemplate my existence and how I interact with everything. First, I discovered two things:
1. There is no honor without pie.
2. The perfect woman must be out there.
I arrived at these two seemingly unrelated theories within just a few minutes of each other. You see (I know you're thinking right now that "Jeff's finally off his rocker.") But alas, not so. You see, with pie, there is in fact honor. Just think about Apple Pie, as in "He's American as apple pie." There's the honor. Finally, the perfect woman must be out there, because of the nature of pie. It is in the nature of pies to be made by women, and the nature of things to take on certain attributes of their creators. Ergo, honor exhibited from a pie is a direct reflection of the honor possessed by the woman who made the aforementioned pie. Therefore, I must add "must make delicious apple pie" to my list of requirements for the perfect woman. Well, I've contemplated existence long enough for one day, I'm off to the Flight Team meeting...
Ciao,
Jeff C.
Wednesday, February 04, 2004
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As requested: snow pictures.
What a glorious day! Something happened today that is so rare it has probably not occurred in more than twenty years. The University shut down. That's right folks, SNOW DAY! We didn't get any flying done either, which led to another one of my favorite hobbies: NAP TIME!
There you have it, glorious winter weather which keeps me safe and warm at home...
Jeff C.
I have a bit to say...
Now that the new has worn off of Janet Jackson's boobs, I feel we should move on to bigger and better things...like my stomach! Just kidding!
seriously... Captain, where are the pictures of the snow? Eric, whats the price of a Jones Soda and a king size ButterFinger at the BP? Paul, do you really LIKE sports?
On to the meat of it... So I realized today, as I ran around like a chicken with it's head cutoff, that life it too short to not have a REALLY good time. Kinda like these guys (and PLEASE listen to some of their albums...). Also, I would like it to be known that Matthew actually does have a big dirty sanchez moustache...on his back. Now back to me. So anyway, I am planning to do some skydiving next week. I know, I said I would never jump out of a perfectly good airplane, but I feel the need for a thrill. Actually, I plan on getting a tattoo earlier in the day and having my cheek pierced. You know I will do it! Stop laughing at me... Seriously, if I survive the jump I am going to have liposuction immediately afterwards and change my name to "THE TALENT." You'll see, You will all cower at my awesomeness!!!!!!
Manteca
I of course dont have anything intelligent to say about it...
The only thing i have to say is, Janet Jackson's boob was a dissapointment. There are a few racks that hold to a higher level. Janet Jackson seemed as if she had it all going on in the "teats department", but NO she has a crappy boob, with a starfish biting it. Anyways... im beating up school this semester so far. Ive also borrowed a nintendo game cube and have been playing super smash bros melee. the best game ever. also the hardest game. We temporarily lost the disk though caz i got mad and threw it. Oh Yeah if any of you get a call from hasting's caz smash bro's is 19 days late, tell them im in mexico. YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME! Also... i was watching super troopers the other day, and like the police man, i think the tech dept. should grow mustaches. And we could all be the Dirty Sanchez Bro's. Matthew you can start.
Monday, February 02, 2004
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All that, and I got paid too!
Oh yeah, I worked this evening. Got to love those crappy weather days.
After reading Manteca's blog, I'm SO glad that I didn't watch the superbowl. CBS has every right to be pissed at her, what every happened to good, wholesome family entertainment like "Leave it to Beaver", "The Andy-Griffith Show" and "Married with Children?" Long has our society pushed the bounds of good taste, but I fear that we're finally far enough along to consider changing the name to Gommorah.
Despite Jackson's apology and defense that it was an accident and complete and catastrophic wardrobe failure, the FCC has announced that it will begin investigating the incident which would result in stiff fines to CBS, MTV, and any affiliate who re-broadcasted the unfortunate incident. Despite all of the negative publicity and angry letters from fans, Viacom's (CBS's parent company) stock rose 1 percent as of Monday morning. Well folks, sex sells... To most people. I still didn't watch it, because let's face it, college football is much more interesting these days.
Jeff C.
Janet Jackson's Boob causes Muslims to trample 240 fellow cultist to death... (or the boob heard round the world!)
SO... I know you saw it. That thing popped out like fresh toast on a cold November morn... Yeah, Janet Jackson's breast. Little Justin Timberlake grabbed a teet and shocked the entire, god-fearin', bible readin' NFL crowd. I think the most affected by this shameful "soft porn" was probably the New England Fans. Heck, it had such a large impact on the crowd, one man ripped his clothing off on the 30 yard line and did a little dance.
On a sad note... 244 Muslims were trampled to death as thousands of their fellow numb skulls rushed forward to stone 3 large dildos with rocks. I know, those were representations of satan. Ha! Looks like those idiots would have realized it wasn't shag carpet they were running on, but their own confused, radical Muslim friends. Man, that must be the religion... I can't remember the last time we had anyone trampled to death during a observance of the lord's supper.
OK... I am finished... Eric, stop picking on Jeff.
manteca
Sunday, February 01, 2004
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Peter Piper Picked a Heffer
Laptop Test is as about as funny as Bad Santa, which was about as funny as the part in The Lion King where Mufassa got trampled....:( Jeff C's sense of humor has gone down the drain. Im deeply troubled by this. I hate to see yet another great comedical mind die off. But as a going away present. I present you w/ this Plaque HAHA just kidding jeff, your just in a rutt, before you know it billy bob thorton will go back to being a stupid old hick, and not your new found hero. hahaha
Say it loud... "I'm in jail and I'm proud..."
In other news, Laptop Test has now been re-released after being digitally remastered. Screened by a small audience, it has met with mostly good reviews (Eric can go to hell.) I'm in the process of creating "The Who 2" Theatre for all tech productions, past, present, and future... When I say "I'm in the process" it really means that one of these days I'm going to do it, but you should probably forget about it for at least another month or something. As long as we're planning, however, I need to know if anybody has a copy of Lanmasters, Scooter Chris, and The Server Is Down. Finally, it has come to my attention that Matt still refuses to post. Manteca should call him a pussy and steal his copy of Laser Blazers 2.
Jeff C.
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