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Monday, December 29, 2003
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2004 is right around the corner...
So, for sure this time all the old computers that have been turned off since 1999 and then turned on in the last year will revert to 1904 and the world will end in a firey, nuclear apocolypse the likes that no one have seen since "Fat man and little boy."
Actually, bottle rockets shall rule the night. Long live Mexican imports!!
manteca
Friday, December 26, 2003
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WTF Mates...
Madlock seems to be the only one posting... Where is everyone else? Echo... echo... echo... I'm getting out of here... Alaska can come too!
Jeff C.
Tuesday, December 23, 2003
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50 cent and I ain't talkin bout no wrapper...
So, what is up with the fireworks stands? When I was a kid, you had to sell a kidney to buy a gross (144) bottle rockets. NOW 50 cents will get you a gross. On top of that, they even have the infamous buy 1 get 6 free. With a Jackson, you would have enough bottle rockets (34,560 bottle rockets) to take over the Philippines. I would say france, but are such wimps about 47 bottles Rockets and they give up on Jerry Lewis and make you the new savior de france. Now that sounds like a really crappy cologne that you would get at Christmas from a 3rd grade student, "Savior de france." It would be bundled with some Brute and a High Karate Soap on the Rope.
Anyway, go out and get some fireworks and blow some stuff up!
manteca
Thursday, December 18, 2003
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Todays News...
So today Jacko will get formally charged with helping the Iraqis sabotage the 100 year recreation of the Wright Brother's flight at Kitty Hawk, which incidentally has been linked to the death of Princess Di and the creation of NAFTA. In other news, Former Iraqi Dictator Saddam Hussein today stated "I would spank Michael Jackson like a naughty Camel."
manteca
DORKS....
Man, those guys are dorks! Commence "Operation Dorkus."
Jeff C.
Wednesday, December 17, 2003
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Christmas is just around the corner!
I have noticed that the convoginators have been lax on their posts over the past two weeks. Can you blame them? I mean come on, three of them are full time students. I guess those spooky final exams have really been beating them up. Two of them will be home to work for me. (maniacal laughter here!) I know for a fact that they look forward to these special times and all of the fun and excitement that this job brings to their lives.
On a lighter note, I think I finally know how to catch Santa Claus. It's the cookies and milk angle. That fat dog eats them every year. So this year, I have mixed up a special batch of cookies with enough Ambian in them to take down a MASSOSPONDYLUS. When the large elf hits the floor, I hog tie him and him ransom for a new studio and a Dual 2ghz G5. Oh the Christmas joy that will bring. The bonus is a freezer full of reindeer meat. Now that's GOOD EATIN'.
Well, I must go and do...my job. Yeah, that's is. Merry Week Before Christmas...
manteca
Wednesday, December 10, 2003
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Final Finals?
Warning, a long rant is coming forth, but you might want to peruse it as it might contain snippets of sheer hilarity... More than likely it will just be as vexatious as a skid mark on the theoretical convoginative underwear.
So the finals are in full swing here at OK State. Fellow aviators, and aviation enthusiasts, please note that this is the ONLY correct usage of "finals." Finals can be defined as more than one final examination for a class, lecture, lab, or what-have-you. A "final" is short for "Final Approach." Final is the last leg of the traffic pattern, where the aircraft is lined up with the runway of intended landing, and is descending towards terra-firma in an effort to terminate its flight on the desired, and aforementioned runway. Seeing as how it is only ONE leg of a traffic pattern, and only ONE aircraft is on it, how could it be possible to call it "finals?" At first, I merely disregarded this detritus as the ongoing ramblings of neophytes, but I soon discovered that even seasoned aviators say such troglodytish things as "KLM 747 finals runway 31." Exactly how the hell is that 747 on more than one final at a time? Have I missed something here? If he is indeed executing such an act, he is unquestionably the best aviator in the world, and he should immediately be promoted to dictator-for-life of ICAO and completely redesign the entire aviation system. Heed not my hyperbole, as it is not an impressive aviator to blame, but instead some european fad. It sounds stupid. Do us both a favor and don't mention "finals" again unless you are referring to the last weeks of your semester at college, or "university."
Ok, that may be completely out of place here on Convoginators, but I just mopped the floor, and probably used an excess of this stuff... it smells like amonia. It's probably bad for me.... probably.
Next on the list is a review of Bad Santa: If you haven't seen this yet, what are you doing sitting down reading this? Go out right now and see it immediately. Don't take the offspring, because you probably don't want them repeating most.... make that any of the movie's wonderful catch phrases. Billy Bob Thornton gives an above-average performance, but then again with a character as cool as his it would be hard to screw it up. I might need to find somewhere I can be a mall santa for the next season... it would have to be cooler than sitting outside the supermarket with a small bucket and a bell. Actually, one could probably make a somewhat respectable income for doing little more than ringing a bell outside the wal-mart. And best of all, it's CASH! Hmm... I seem to be adding things to my "list of things to do before I die" faster than I'm crossing them off.
I could make fun of the French here, but Jeff M. has already done enough of that for both of us... for today anyway. I've got to go find something to eat anyway... plus the amonia is getting a little overpowering. It has to be, there's no other explanation for the pink, hairy monkeys dancing to "Thriller" in the living room.
Jeff C.
Off to seek fresh air
Tuesday, December 09, 2003
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French?!?!?
Hmm... at first I thought you had merely been drunk with Sherlock 2, but that's just as funny, and the poster was undoubtedly just as inebriated. It reminds me of the heddy (sp?) days of the Jive Server, or the newly famed Urban Dictionary.
Finals are goin' and it's-a-snowin', so I'm gonna get out of here.
Jeff C.
French anyone? Ah...the language of losers...
Aujourd'hui je me sens comme la signalisation en français. Pourquoi ?
Pourquoi pas ? J'ai dû signaler de la voie la plus féminine
possible. Ainsi, naturellement j'ai choisi le langage spineless, le
plus faible, femelle que je pourrais penser... à.French. C'est Noël,
et je joue pour plusieurs différents événements musicaux, dont un a
un agencement gentil de Noël français chante... et oui, ils
pleurnichent indéfiniment et semblent très à peu raisonnable, et à
la fin, ils vous excitent... Donnez un coup de corne le hahaha
démocratique français soutenu de porcs de doyen...... !
for translation...copy and paste here!
manteca
Saturday, December 06, 2003
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So this is Christmas...
Oh boy! It's that time of year again! I need to put the Christmas tree up and pronto. This year is gonna be fun! I have set reindeer traps on the roof, and I have an elf in the deep-freeze. WE EATIN' GOOD THIS YEAR!!!
Seriously, is it just me, or did we go from Thanksgiving to Christmas at like Mach 7? Geez, all of the sudden, I can't even get any good gangster rap on the radio anymore...Christmas tunes til you wanna puke!! When did Jay-Z do a Christmas album...I just can't handle "Silent Night" and "Little Drummer Boy" with Ghetto Drum loop #4.
Luckily, this only happens once a year... Starting Monday, I have a gig a night until Dec. 22. Only about half of those pay...the others...well, they are charity! Well, I must go and do the computer thing... Oh yeah...TGPROJECT Christmas album...reserve your copy today!!!
manteca
Wednesday, December 03, 2003
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Boring you say!!!!
So the convoginators are now boring. Hmmm... I have been called many things, but never boring. Fat, overweight, insulting, weird, disgusting, obese, fowl, stinky, pooty, good looking in a disfigured kinda way, but never boring. When I think of boring, I think of places like here! Or maybe being trapped in a refrigerator box inside of a freight train bound for Norman, OK. Boring?!?!?
Lets talk about the word boring or yet bored.... The "bor" come from the Indonesian word "bortangu" which roughly translated means "nothing." This word actually was the root for the Gaelic word "bord" which means " I'm finished bashing in my opponents head and have nothing else to do..." Now interestingly, the "ing" that is being used in "boring" takes on a whole new meaning when added to the "bor" at the beginning... The "ing" now has the meaning "to sip coffee with feminine males in a public, yet out of the way coffee or small sandwich establishment." SO, in collusion, to be bored, or refer to something as being boring, is a self-realization and subconscious statement which roughly translates in to "...Look at me, I am sissy." On the side note...the etymology of the word "bored" comes from the Old English word "borian." Hmmmm... "borian," brian....you do the math.... Don't believe me? Look it up here!
Anyway, that's my, and the current Dept. Chairman for the Harvard School of Linguistics, view on things. Who knows? I may be mistaken.
Manteca
Tuesday, December 02, 2003
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Something has been brought to our attention
Apparently the busy convoginators are "boring", so says ber-yes...... Dont think i dont know where you live mr. yes, and YeS your going down. From now on there will be nothing derogitive over there (<-------) in the "not-important-enuff-to-be-a-member column", so w/o further adu, ill be funny...... Last night i went to my friends dorm room to give him a XP cd, and his room mate got out of bed and told me to "take it", and i looked around, and he said "take the damn frisbee" and he was sleep walking, and got beyond mad at me b/c i wouldnt "take the frisbee", maybe you would have had to been there. .......... Ok heres another time waster..... in our cafeteria we have this convayer belt system that you put your trays on when your done, and we managed to put so much on the belt that it stopped working, started smoking and exploded. That was funny. Paul your stories are the best, you should quit school, and be a full time convoginator. i have a story kinda like that one,.... me, nick, and my friend brian were walking to the cafeteria, and the school was having one of those tour campus tours, so there were a bunch of high schoolers and their parents in a big group, and brian said "lets play the penis game, i'll start" and you know how you start soft and then grow louder, well not brian. he yelled at the top of his lungs PENIS!!!! and he was less than 2 feet away from the group. that was really funny...... uh, my friend tom hit zach clark (ex-razorback quarterback) w/ a rock. SO IS THIS NOT BORING ENUFF FOR YOU!!!
haha
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