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Wednesday, November 30, 2005
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Economy is Booming
We have now passed the 10th quarter of positive growth, 30 months of the 'up and up.' The economy grew at a whopping 4.3% this past quarter beating the last quater which was 3.3. We had the worst energy prices in 30 years and two major disasters hit the states. But for some reason home sales hit another record, consumer confidence was way up, and the stock market is rising.
Don't let the media give you the doom and gloom about the economy and the war.
Friday, November 25, 2005
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Thanks, Mr. Miyagi!
Noriyuki "Pat" Morita
1932-2005
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
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Greetings from 'Nawlin's...
Sitting in Signature Flight Support waiting on passengers... Just thought I'd blog from the Big Easy. Given how few people have moved back, it's actually quite easy to get around in. Now if we could just move those trailers from Hope down here and actually get our money's worth out of them we might actually have something. I've never seen so many tarped roofs in my life... Well... back to work.
Jeff C.
P.S. Good one, Seashell, I haven't laughed that hard since my funny bone was broken by the mob...
Monday, November 21, 2005
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Here's to Chuck!
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
Chuck Norris lives by only one rule: No Asian Chicks.
The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesomeness for a single show, however, so it was divided.
Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wise men, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't !&$% with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.
To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
Chuck Norris frequently signs up for beginner karate classes, just so he can "accidentally" beat the $!@% out of little kids.
When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."
Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours. If you're thinking to yourself, "That's impossible, I already lost my virginity.", then you are dead wrong.
Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".
When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
In one episode of Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Chuck Norris replaced Carlton for one scene and nobody noticed.
Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked her into a glacier.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris punched a woman in the !@!@!@ when she didn't give him exact change.
Chuck Norris found out about Conan O'Brien's lever that shows clips from "Walker : Texas Ranger" and is working on a way to make it show clips of Norris having sex with Conan's wife.
Chuck Norris once tried to sue Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr., insisting that that actually is "his" way.
Chuck Norris has every copy of National Geographic in his basement. He also has the ability to lift every single one of them at once.
Chuck Norris once went to a frat party, and proceeded to roundhouse every popped collar in sight. He then drank three kegs and $!@% on their floor, just because he's Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris ruins the endings of Harry Potter books for children who just bought one for the hell of it. When they start crying Chuck Norris calmly says, "I'll give you something to cry about," and roundhouse kicks them in the face.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger, it is actually a list of people that Chuck Norris round house kicked in the face that day.
If you unscramble the letters in "Chuck Norris" you get "Huck corn, sir." That is why every fall, Chuck travels to Nebraska and burns the entire state down.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Saved by the MAN!
Once again, he has come through, busted the hackers, stopped the ninjas and put a end to the TERROR!
Yes, Thank You Chuck Norris for getting the convoginators back online.
manteca
Were we hacked?
Both convoginators.com and convoginators.blogspot.com has nothing but an exclamation point and one of those stupid punctuation smiley faces on it. It appears as though convoginators.com has been, how do you say, ah yes... hacked. Someone should get on fixing this as soon as possible... and by someone, I mean Josh.
Jeff C.
Friday, November 18, 2005
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Stupid Band...Always screwing it up for the football team!
Well, tonight it happened. The band lost the game. Yep, for years, the band has tried to lose games for the Bobcats, but to no avail. Tonight it happened. Several people came up to tell the band to...play! There it is, that's the ticket. If the band doesn't play, the team can't win. I always loved it when your average God Fearing Christian comes up to you during the game and yells that you need to be playing. Luckily, Mrs. Manteca is handling the band now and handles the situations with much more understanding than I. I'm sure if the band had played Hey Baby one more time or maybe just the first few bars of Gold Finger (one of eRic's favorites), that crucial touchdown would have change the final score to 33-7 instead of 33-0. If I have said it once, I have said it a million times, you have to play the correct tunes in the correct order, or the team will not win. Only one Gold Finger in the first half, the Fight Song at least 15 times and between the 13th and 14th time, the band director must look back at the crowd and give that goofy "oh yeah" face. No matter how much it hurts, The Impression That I Get must be held until the 4th quarter. Playing this tune at anytime before the 4th quarter automatically constitutes a loss. The Hey Song! This is the secret weapon. The Hey Song must be played with fervor throughout the game and must be accelerated with MUCHO GUSTO at precisely the right time...I found the middle of the 3rd quarter to be an optimum time. To secure the certain win...WATSON CHAPEL! Yes, you have to play the biggest piece of crap tune known to man at precisely the right time to win not only the game, but the admiration and support of the liquored up, blind to reality, living through their children football crowd. Who knew that the "pick any note and play it as loud as you can" made up tune would be such a winner. As a bonus, if you want to run the score up and secure that every field goal hits it's mark...4 words...GET READY FOR THIS! Many of you are wondering about the "Koo-Day-Gra" of magic stand tunes...the Hope original...WORD UP! This tune is like steroids, uppers and Gatorade all mixed together in a sound canvas of magic colors. When this tune is played, the team runs faster, hits harder and literally turns into the 1996 Super Bowl XXX Champion Dallas Cowboys. Yep, that is exactly what happens...
So there it is. Monday morning the band will be shunned and ostracized for their evil treatment of the football team. I wish more athletic parents had called Mrs. Manteca to let her know that the band needed to support the football team more. The 20 or 30 calls were just not enough. Especially after all that they had done for the band...
manteca
(former band chump)
Monday, November 14, 2005
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It's beginning to hurt like Christmas
Oh no, it's THAT time again. Many call it the "season to be jolly"…Ha ! That's easy for you to say. You don't live in a house that has the pull down "stairway to hell" in the garage. You see this stairway leads to the holding place of more Christmas decorations than the North Pole. I can tell already it's going to be a bad year for me. Last night Ms. Phynerk dug out her welding hood to spot weld down the power button to the CD player. Soon she will load up the player with 200 CD' s of the world's most holly-jolly Christmas music. It'll happen sure as the world. Somewhere between Burl Ives, Johnny Nash , Alvin and the Mormon Tabernacle boy's choir I will loose all my senses. Next will come her request that I ascend the "stairway to hell" to bring down the 8.6 metric tons of assorted gala Christmas stuff she's accumulated during our short 34.5 years of blissful wedlock. The reason this year promises to be the worst ever for me is threefold. First, we didn't go all-out last year with decorating. We had the house completely torn up due to getting new carpets during that time. I was fortunate in only having to set up half of the city of Bethlehem , the Magi (less their smelly camels), 75 elves, and 16 assorted Christmas trees. We left the remaining livestock and cattle in the attic for another year. I only hope they did not bear too many offspring during the spring and summer months. Second, this year Matthew will not be helping me get all the stuff down for several reasons. For one, he never has. I also understand "he's busy", his strings are old, he broke a fingernail, there are no 78" diagonal gelplasmic HD 7.1 surround sound systems in the attic to watch while we work, and last, but not least, he hasn't worked out in several weeks and he does not have the strength to do such manly-man work. The last reason this will be a horrible year for me is that eRIc will not be helping either. His reasons are quite simple; HE WON'T! So, I'll have to go on my own into the warehouse-in-the-sky and begin retrieving all the trappings of the season that bring a smile to all who see them. Things such as a life-sized statue of Rudolph the Red-Nosed reindeer complete with glow-in-the-the-dark drool. Another thing Ms. Phynerk is particularly proud of is the actual hotel register from the Bethlehem Inn which shows that all the rooms on that holy night actually were taken. We even have authentic styrofoam donkey, camel, horse and cow poop ( or is it just the real stuff that's all dried up over the centuries ? ) So while you guys are enjoying yourselves over the Thanksgiving holidays, I'll still be somewhere in the attic dragging down decorations or setting them up somewhere on the property. Seasons Greetings, punks !
Phynerk
Saturday, November 12, 2005
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Changing Stand point...
After much debate with friends who dont quite share the same political beliefs as we do... I have figured out that I dont like democrats... i also figured out that i dont like republicans....
so what i think im trying to say is that im not a conservative... im more of a moderate.
democrats are faggy dolphin riders that waste tax money on lazy people, and republicans are straight laced, finger up the butt, no having fun people that tend not to waste near as much money on retareded things as the democrats and in doing so piss off the lazy people...
im not trying to create turmoil amongst the convoginators with this post, but im simply trying to say that conservatives tend to suck it up too.
anyways im done w/that... now onto more important things...
I am going to a ben folds concert tomorrow (sunday), so you can all be jealous. I wouldnt mind seeing the polyphonic spree in december either... we should try and nail down a definite date on which this convogifest will take place so that i can take off work from the rent-a-center tech department.
my grades are as high as they have ever been this semester... it looks like i am going to have 3 A's, a B, and a C... so rock on for me.
uhh... my new house happens to be right near the conway airport so i see ALOT of cool planes on a daily basis... the other day a really expensive looking jet made a U-turn above my house and it was really loud and cool, and im pretty sure that if jeff would have been there he would have made noises that only planes can make him make.... haha. no offense chelsea...
i have been thinking about it alot lately and i have always known it but as i get older i realize more and more how lucky i am that the phyNerks are my parents... just wanted to put that out there.
other than that i think im going to go fashion some poop into a racecar or something cool like that.
-e
I am the YES man... I AM the walrus!
I know I have been gone for some time. I have been ridiculously busy. Matthew might laugh at that, but it is true. I wish I had more time to do the things that need to be done everyday. I need a 27 or 30 hour day. That's the ticket! Man I could get so much done whilst everyone else was frozen in time...hmmm...how can I accomplish that?
Right now I am sitting in the Caffeine Shop in Texarkana, having a Dark Brazilian roast and a Banana Nut Muffin. Not bad, what makes it better is the fact that I get free internet, and a muffin and coffee for $2.85. Not a bad deal. The Melissa Etheridge playing on the speaker system is a little annoying, but I think I can make it through. Why am I here? I had to bring the dogs over and get them clipped. PetSmart is the bomb. They do an excellent job. Now I'm rambling.
So I was thinking. How about the Polyphonic Spree on December 16? I have a line on some tickets to their Holiday Extravaganza in Grand Prairie at the Nokia theater. I would love to take everyone. I think we would have a great time. I think Phynerk would probably like it too...and yes Mrs. Phynerk if she wants to go. Anywho, I will keep the group posted as to the progress of my ticket procurement.
THANKSGIVING!!! Shall we dine at our Friend Johns'? I think that is a must. I am possibly spending some of the holiday in Memphis with Mrs. Manteca's family, but I will find a way to make it to the party! Once again I think that either Seashell or Carap should be in charge of making the big plans! (Anyone heard from the rock star lately??)
SO, there it is. My post. Not funny, a bit informative, but at least I did it.
manteca
Thursday, November 10, 2005
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Doom II on an Ipod?
Thursday, November 03, 2005
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A true bedtime story
Once upon a time around 18 years ago there was a Phynerk who worked for Firestone in Prescott. The Phynerk worked for a plant manager that we will call "the man" ( for reasons of internet security). Around fourteen years ago "the man" left Firestone for greener pastures. Ten years ago the Phynerk left Firestone for the sake of his sanity and began to work for a company in Texarkana. All was fine in our little story while the Phynerk served this company for ten faithful years. About two months ago, to the Phynerk's surprise there arrived a new secretary at his work who turned out to be "the man's" wife. She worked hard for about three weeks when she was fired. As was the case, she was never trained on the things she was expected to do and instead of management trying to equip her for the job, the easier thing to do was let her go. Then on September 12 the Phynerk went to work just like he did every other day, except this was going to prove to be a very different day. In fact at the end of that business day, he was fired. Yes, he was "told" a client had complained about a big configuration the Phynerk had done and that "nothing worked". This seemed very strange since over a month was spent with this client to assure that all was left to their approval. So, the Phynerk went home a broken man. You see, up until now he had not so much as had an overdue library book or spit on the sidewalk much less, get fired. The Phynerk got busy and hustled some wood working projects and, oh yeah, he started praying. Then, Katrina hit and about 15 of his loved ones had to come up to Hope to find some place to stay. During this time the Phynerk found himself eating each night at the evacuee feedings. On one particular night the Phynerk met "the man's" wife there. Seems her church was hosting the feeding and she was helping in the serving line. During the Phynerk and her talk she found out that the Phynerk had also been canned as she was recently. After the feeding she went home and told her husband, "the man" the news. The next day seems "the man" was in a meeting at a company there in the great city of Hope, AR. This company, by the way, the Phynerk had many times tried to get employment with no luck since they were not interested in his talents at the time. Anyway, seems like during the meeting that "the man" was in, the topic came up of the company needing to do something quick about getting an electrical engineer with automation experience hired soon. "The man" said, "give me 30 minutes". By that afternoon the Phynerk was called and offered a job there in his own town. He was offered a salary equal to the one at 'the other' place and he works for a young man that he used to have in his Sunday School class years ago at First Baptist Church. So, kids this is the end of our little story and the Phynerk's been happy ever after.
The end
Phynerk
If Bush Lied...Then...
Source
I am getting a little tired of the Watergate wanna-be's.
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
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Your a Yardstick
Yeah, I haven't posted in a while... what are you gonna do? I've been pretty busy lately, working the tech section at walgreens. Ive figured out a few things in last month or so though.
Things eRic has learned:
-I dont like asian people... especially female asian teachers.
-My Name is Earl is good television
-Batman Begins is a good movie
-Music stores are for people who dont know how to use the internet
-90% of americans were taught to drive by hellen keller
-There is a family of rats living in the attic above my bedroom.
-I dont like asian people. Did i say that already... oh, yeah i did... well then i guess i double dont like asian people.
other than that, i will be in hope arkansas this weekend, so if you want to touch me or something, just call...
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