Well, tonight it happened. The band lost the game. Yep, for years, the band has tried to lose games for the Bobcats, but to no avail. Tonight it happened. Several people came up to tell the band to...play! There it is, that's the ticket. If the band doesn't play, the team can't win. I always loved it when your average God Fearing Christian comes up to you during the game and yells that you need to be playing. Luckily, Mrs. Manteca is handling the band now and handles the situations with much more understanding than I. I'm sure if the band had played Hey Baby one more time or maybe just the first few bars of Gold Finger (one of eRic's favorites), that crucial touchdown would have change the final score to 33-7 instead of 33-0. If I have said it once, I have said it a million times, you have to play the correct tunes in the correct order, or the team will not win. Only one Gold Finger in the first half, the Fight Song at least 15 times and between the 13th and 14th time, the band director must look back at the crowd and give that goofy "oh yeah" face. No matter how much it hurts, The Impression That I Get must be held until the 4th quarter. Playing this tune at anytime before the 4th quarter automatically constitutes a loss. The Hey Song! This is the secret weapon. The Hey Song must be played with fervor throughout the game and must be accelerated with MUCHO GUSTO at precisely the right time...I found the middle of the 3rd quarter to be an optimum time. To secure the certain win...WATSON CHAPEL! Yes, you have to play the biggest piece of crap tune known to man at precisely the right time to win not only the game, but the admiration and support of the liquored up, blind to reality, living through their children football crowd. Who knew that the "pick any note and play it as loud as you can" made up tune would be such a winner. As a bonus, if you want to run the score up and secure that every field goal hits it's mark...4 words...GET READY FOR THIS! Many of you are wondering about the "Koo-Day-Gra" of magic stand tunes...the Hope original...WORD UP! This tune is like steroids, uppers and Gatorade all mixed together in a sound canvas of magic colors. When this tune is played, the team runs faster, hits harder and literally turns into the 1996 Super Bowl XXX Champion Dallas Cowboys. Yep, that is exactly what happens...
So there it is. Monday morning the band will be shunned and ostracized for their evil treatment of the football team. I wish more athletic parents had called Mrs. Manteca to let her know that the band needed to support the football team more. The 20 or 30 calls were just not enough. Especially after all that they had done for the band...
manteca
(former band chump)
