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Saturday, January 31, 2004
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In that blink of an eye...
I had originally composed a rather lengthy dissertation on the subject of life, but I found it too depressing to post. While I'm certain that it could have sparked some thought, and possibly been quite fascinating, it just doesn't seem at home here. Instead, I thought I'd post a link to some squirrel pictures. For some reason, it seemed a lot funnier than anything my mind could come up with at this juncture...
Jeff C.
Friday, January 30, 2004
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I love the music business...
When the Kennedy Center honors somebody, its a pretty big, damn deal. So As I read the news and hear that the "Godfather of Soul," James Brown has been arrested for domestic violence, it concerns me. The man was just recognized by the Kennedy Center as "..one of the biggest influences in music over the past 50 years!" Damn, thats pretty heavy. I mean heavy in the sense that Mr. Brown spent time in the pen for drug and assault charges (but was later pardon). I guess I shoud get over it. I mean cats like Chick Corea, Pat Methany, Gary Burton, Dave Holland, Roy Haynes, Wynton Marsalis, Billy Joel, etc., etc., etc. Haven'ts done a thing for music... Oh well!!!
one of the biggest influences in music over the past 50 years!
manteca
Let's not make this political...
C'mon now... no political posts, you know what they do to me. Those big words, and quotation marks, there is just to much else to talk about, to have to resort to the crappy topic of politix. N E WEIGHS umm... So im beating this semester up w/a stick so far. Speaking of stick.... PENIS.... My roommate and I were playing the PENIS game the other day, when realized the first one of us to buy a bull horn was going to be the victor, caz as of right now we're at a stalemate. Im Saving up though!! Only 19.95
Oh and Jeff C. i hate you.
love eric
Wednesday, January 28, 2004
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PG-13?
Wow, Eric... This blog just went from prime-time TV-Land to late night Comedy Central. Although your phalic-saturated article amused me (as it probably would the hostess at Dos Locos Gringos) I was hoping for something of a little higher caliber from you. Oh, wait! What am I saying? Keep it up, Eric, we've all got to laugh sometimes.
On to the meat of my blog, has anyone else noticed that John F'ing Kerry is kicking Dean's ass all over the primaries. It really fascinates me because all I see on campus or the political forums are "Dean for Amerika" or "Move On: Vote Dean." There was even an article in my school paper today about Gays for Dean. What amuses me more than the ubiquitous Dean yard signs is the fact that he seems to be losing, and Joe Lieberman appears to be running for Vice President. As much as I hate to say it, Dean's temper and outbursts would probably make him an amusing POTUS. We all know that Saturday Night Live relies on such candidates.
Regardless, I've got to get ready for geology lab tonight... I fear we are studying something hard, like rocks, maps, or something of the like... As for the comedy tour, count me in, and let's bring Josh along too. We could make him ride a Radio Flyer Wagon around the stage and run into various expensive objects.
Jeff C.
Tuesday, January 27, 2004
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..if everyone else jumped off a bridge...
Leave it to Eric to jump in with both feet and a rocket launcher... Good job mate! I have noticed that the dreaded "mydoom" email virus has given the net a bit of a sluggishness tonight. Naturally, (knock on wood) our system has once again weathered the storm. Thanks to the valiant efforts and geeky talents of KF.
I was pondering the last words of Socrates who said..."I drank what??!?!?" when it came to me. The convoginators should do a road show! I think that would be a true experience. I mean come on, those rednecks did it with the "Blue Collar Comedy Tour." I know we are funnier than those cats! And besides...our shizzle is real!
Anywho... think about it boys... Maybe a nice 3 or 4 day road trip this summer to Atkins, Arkansas...you know Atkins Pickles. Or how about somewhere in Iowa... I figure that state is really freakin' weird...
manteca
PENIS
PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS
umm.. i wanted to excercise our new rights.... oh yeah
PENIS
Saturday, January 24, 2004
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Sky condition: overcast, 900. Visibility: 3 and 1/2
...Jeff: sleeping in. For the first time in a long time I have performed one of my favorite rituals: sleeping in. I have the wonderful weather to thank for it, which miraculously, is still overhead precipitating its majesty all over the country side. Aside from one small hour when I drove to work to handle a minor scheduling difficulty, I did absolutely NOTHING of value today. I played computer games for several hours, I read many-a-blog, I participated in some political arguments on various message boards, and I napped. Once again, I did nothing, and it was everything I hoped it could be.
My gloriously sedate Saturday aside (the likes of which I probably won't see for many weeks to come.) I had some time today to ponder the world (as I often do in my spare time.) My thoughts turned once again to teenagers. I'm not certain of the reason that I keep contemplating them as of late, but I focused my attention on incessant whining once again. In high school, we are/were for the most part focused way too much on our social scene. Developing socially is important, but it should not be the cornerstone of a high school experience. Four years down the road, you're really not going to give a flying fuu-ddge if you were the captain of the football team, the head cheerleader, student council president, the lowliest bus station skank, or valedictorian. Although valedictorian has perks, well... I guess in one way or another everyone of those had perks... One or two of them just didn't involve seeing the inside of the free clinic. I digress, and my train of thought seems to have de-railed, undoubtedly taking some passengers to their theoretical demise. I should really stop posting at such odd hours...
Jeff C.
P.S. Glad to see the prodigal sons are back, and I promise not to call Paul, Shirley.
Friday, January 23, 2004
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I am the master of the Universe...
See... a small picture and the sheep come back to the fold. I knew once the world was aware of my disgust and anger, it would not take long for my disciples to learn of my displeasure and beat a path to "los convoginators!"
Being the gracious host and leader that I am ( I am the leader aren't I?), I graciously forgive everyone for their absence! Put on your nice robe, kill the fatted calf, and lets party!
Now to the PG-13 comment! I agree "P" it is a hindrance! So, from this moment on, that is no longer a problem! I see no need to water this post down for anyone. You gentlemen are legal, voting members of the United States of America, and free speech is a right! Therefore, I believe that anything that needs to be said must be said. I do request that we don't take advantage of this newfound freedom to abuse some of our favorite "4-letter" words. I know that you guys will use them as Bono (U2) used his during his Oscar speech last year! As I always say, most people hear worse on primetime TV.
Go forth and conquer!
manteca
sorry....
Yeah....
I havent posted in a long time, ive been busy.... with yer mom. Anyways i just got off work at the local BP station. OMG there are alot more tobacco users than i thought. Every man woman and child that walk through the door of the gas station smoke and dip. Im serious, this 6 year old girl came in and wanted a can of copenhagen, and pack of marlboro lights in a box.... and i know you thinking to yourself "but eric, isnt it illegal to sell to those not of appropriate age?", yeah it is, but she was just so cute... haha
anywayz im sleepy and i still have to give my 110% to the rest of the convoginators mothers.... i gotta make rent some how...
Thursday, January 22, 2004
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The Rise and Fall of Gen Ed (or: How is this related to my major?)
Those of you that care, or have an exorbitant amount of time on your hands, may recall that I dropped physics like a bad habit when I discovered that I had no hope of earning a respectable grade. The choice was wise, mind you, as two of my friends who stayed to fight the good fight received D's, while another received the infamous Failure. Bear in mind, that these are quite intelligent people, we just don't see the need to teach a grad level course as "Introductory Physics." I digress, as it turns out, I changed my major to Aviation Management and was able to take a physical geography course, or Introductory Geology. I wasn't particularly excited, but I'm at a point in my college career that I'm just going to be happy to get out of here, and the shortest route in this case happened to be a Great Circle Route. In our lab, as we discussed maps with a T.A. whose country of origin is the subject of a pool whose current value is fifty dollars, I began to realize just how stupid (or apathetic) most of my fellow classmates are. Furthermore, the aforementioned T.A. asked why magnetic North is different from true North, and had a very surprised look on his face as I discussed Isogonic and Agonic lines and compass errors. Yes folks, it seems that I've finally rediscovered high school. I'm not learning a thing, and for some unnerving reason, it's alright with me.
So Eric and Paul haven't been here in a while, but dare I point out that Matthew has not posted in perhaps the longest spell of all? Come on Matt, all I get up here is Dean, John F-ing Kerry, and Clark propaganda, give use some good conservative news. Paul? Surely you've been up to some crazy antics lately, if you promise to post I won't call you Shirley. Last but not least, Eric... shame... shame... WTF mates?!?! May I be so bold as to suggest that we possibly need some new blood in here? The Fire Lizard perhaps?
Jeff C.
Ahh...the weary, they are weary...
Yes, it looks as if the others have left us to ramble on our own. You would think that we provide this beautiful site to post the most random of ridiculous and they would beat a path to our doorstep to write their ramblings. Alas, no...
I say we hunt them down like the chattle they are and pelt them with waste...dare I say poop?!?
Saddened by the loss of the post...
all that is left is manteca and the capn'...(light sobbing)
Release the hounds,
manteca
Wednesday, January 21, 2004
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Post-Parandial Hyper-Somnia...
"Hello," I inquire as I step through the door of the Convoginators and try to rid myself of the road rage I began to feel on the information super-highway. I hear myself repeating the question as it echoes off of the empty walls. It lingers for some time. No one is minding the store it seems, except me... WTF Mates?!?! I'm gonna go grab a burger.
Jeff C.
Monday, January 19, 2004
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Welcome Schitty Wok, Take your order Pease?
Happy MiLK Day! I'm telling you, there's nothing like a much-needed holiday the second week of a semester. I caught up on a lot of sleeping, and my house was overdue for a lot of required cleanings. Given the relatively small amount of work to be done today, and the ample amount of time to do it in, I was able to catch up on my web surfing as well, which brings me to the point of my post: Teenagers.
Is it just me, or are kids WAY too melodramatic these days? I realize that I myself am not speaking from too much experience, but then again I was never what one would or could call ordinary. Today, I managed to unearth blogs of some kids that I possibly went to high school with, at least some of them are old enough for it to have been feasible. Regardless, most of them just seem to whine about how much life sucks, and they haven't even experienced much of it. Or is that possibly what they are complaining about? Who knows, but it seems to me that being a dork and having no life is suddenly the coolest thing to write about. As always, I'm ahead of the trends. I was a dork LONG before it was cool, but I find myself in circumstances where I am unable to benefit from my foresight. Soon, I predict that clean-shaven, a timeless, generic haircut, and conservative clothing will be all the fad. Kids will also get interested in politics, and appreciate the finer things in life, like classical literature, fine paintings, and Die Hard: With a Vengence.
Some of us are just way ahead of our time, and pioneers are only cool after they're dead. Give me two hundred years, and my name will be in a Houghton Mifflin text book... and this time it wouldn't be petty vandalism.
Jeff C.
National Holidays...
So the capn' got his new ibook. I hope he is enjoying flaunting it in the picture. Wireless, schmireless...
Anyway, I love the holidays in which they cancel school. I needed a 3 day weekend. It gives me more time to fume over the Walmart(s) situation. I can also eat... Stop laughing... I wonder how everyone else is spending the Holiday?? hmmm...
Well, I noticed that the flock has been avoiding their sworn duty to post at the convoginators, so myself and the good captain shall carry the torch. He has a good reason now...new ibook. I have a good reason also, no life!!
Go ibook...SAVE THE WORLD!!
Sunday, January 18, 2004
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Laptop Schmaptop...
Oh yeah! I must say, I was rather disappointed in Apple due to iBooks being out of stock, but with a rapid turn-around it was out the door only one day late. The real props are due to FedEx, who delivered THREE days earlier than expected. That flight must have had quite the tailwind. The lot of my hard feelings towards Apple were gone as soon as I opened the box. This thing runs so fast, it jumped out the box and bit me. Then it called me a bad name and demanded that I go immediately and make it a sandwich.
With a four and a half hour battery life, and 54 megabit wireless flowing freely through the house, this laptop has certainly freed me from the shackles of my desk. Now I am multi-tasking in such ways that I never contemplated before: Surfing the net and watching TV, surfing the net and sleeping, surfing the net and... yeah, lots of multi-tasking going on here.
So despite the cold weather, boring classes, hectic schedule, and annoying neighbors, all is well. Well, everything except the Wal-mart situation...
Jeff C.
Walmart... the true gauge of society!
So, I know you shop at Walmart(s)*. i mean everyone HAS to shop at Walmart(s). If they put a "Super Center" in your town, then everything else will disappear and all that you have left is Walmart(s). Groceries, Non-perishables, drugs, garden supplies, automotive, office, veterinary, optical, dental, etc., etc., etc.
I have noticed in my many travels to the Walmart(s) that there are never enough checkout lines. I know, you and everyone you know has made this observation and the ambiguous comments that follow. Lets take it to the next level though. Ever notice the "manager" type persons standing behind the entrance to the registers with the mysterious, movable desks. You know who I am talking about. The twenty-something kids with the Walmart(s), clean-cut, just showered, cruise town, all I want to do it pay my car note and the insurance, 11th grade look... THoSE people!
As I waited inline tonight at the local Walmart(s), I noticed these people don't have a clue. They remind me of the last of the do do birds from the movie "Ice Age." They are really worried about the way the look, the placement of their radio, the store gossip and the people that pass. unfortunately they are blithering idiots when it comes to the fact that there are 75 people waiting to check out and THEY ONLY HAVE 4 CHECKOUTS OPEN!!! And 2 of those are the express lanes (20 items or less). Finally, the Big Boned gal in front of me has eaten all the candy in her "snickers" snack bag and decides to get mad. These "managers" scurry around, much like that of the 3 Stooges when the fire alarm rings, and presto, a new checker. So ensues the Checkout preparaion routine. Yeah, the insertion of the cash drawer, the logging in of the checker and the positioning of the blue vest and subsequent repositioning of the 300+ buttons on the vest. Finally, 25 minutes later I get my 21 items checked out, swipe my debit card, input my PIN and get the hell out of there...
Walmart(s)...you get everything at discount, the help doesn't want to help and is always grumbling why the have to be there, why they have to help you and how it's everyone elses fault. Then when you do need something (checkout), there is never enough... Yep, clear representation of our current society!
Anyway, thats how I see it!
manteca
*the (s) has been placed in honor of my grandmother who always refers to Walmart(s) in the plural. ie: Walmart(s), K-Marts, etc.
Wednesday, January 14, 2004
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You Say It's Your Birthday...
I must admit that I am the worst at remembering peoples birthdays. I sometimes even forget mine. Everyone knows that I actually have no idea how old I am.
I do feel bad though that I missed the Capn's birthday. I mean the guy is suffering because "he got no ibook." I could have at least sent him a TeleFlora "Pick Me Up Bouquet." We all know how he likes a good flower arrangement.
I also had a very special t-shirt for him. You guys know he is a BIG Dean supporter and can look forward to nothing less than Howard Dean as the next president of the United Nations States. Just kidding! I think the capn' would personally drive to where ever and "whoop" those responsible for electing that Sally pants.
All that ramble aside, Happy B-Day Capn'!
manteca
Tuesday, January 13, 2004
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Happy Birthday To Me...
So yes, today was the twenty-first anniversary of my first breath. It, much like new years, passed without much fanfare or hooplah. Some of my friends did think enough of me to call, but I've gotten to the point that I just really don't care. It's a day, just like any other, and I certainly don't feel more enlightened today than I did yesterday. What magic is it about today that makes me wise enough to purchase alcohol and/or handguns? If I figure it out, I'll let you know.
Jeff C.
P.s. Apparently there was a complete infrastructure failure, Apple seems to be running short of iBooks and won't be shipping my order until next week. Bastards....
Thursday, January 08, 2004
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Laptopmania...
So I finally got around to ordering my new iBook, and barring a complete infrastructure failure, it should be here in 2-3 business days. I usually enjoy rather good fortune with shipping, as almost everything I order or ship arrives at or around the prescribed date. On the other hand, I do recall one rather harrowing experience which I hope is not indicative of things to come, or not to come (cheesy joke, cue drummer.) It all started as I ordered dinner from the ever popular "Panda" chinese restaraunt. I was already prepared to get in the car and drive like a madman to get my sweet necter of life that is the OSU Beef and Brocoli Special, when I learned from the manager that they would in fact deliver to my residence... As I sat in the beam of light listening to the angels sing, I gave them my address in the same broken english that they insisted on using. I waited. I waited with baited breath. I waited on the restroom to become available, then I waited on the Panda delivery guy again. I waited... and waited... and waited. At first I made excuses for the delivery guy. "Oh, the house numbers aren't very visible." But the longer I waited, the longer I began to fear that the Panda delivery guy had stood me up. I had already begun to enter Panda withdrawl when I heard the knock at the door. Throwing caution to the wind, and thinking only of the juicy beef and broccoli special I ran swiftly to the door and promptly stopped because my house is so small that you could actually walk all the way across it in six or seven steps. I paid fair market value for my culinary delight, and all anguish was forgotten within two bites. Maybe Apple won't insist on subjecting me to such torture...
Jeff C.
Saturday, January 03, 2004
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Excessive Laziness (or, Proper Use of a Weekend!)
Yes, I slept until 11:00 this morning, and dang if it didn't feel good. Following that, I did nothing at all, and it was everything I hoped it could be. My wonderful weekend was cut short mid-afternoon, however, when I discovered that a large pile of firewood needed to be moved an absurdly short distance. It's almost worse when it really doesn't need to go farther than twenty feet, since there really is no time saving method one could use to transport the felled tree. At least over larger distances one could use a truck and/or trailer and continually tell themselves that it would have been a lot worse if they didn't have access to a motor carriage. Logistics aside, the wood was relocated JUST before the rain started and promptly stopped, and I retired to the sitting room to view the History Channel for a rather large portion of the afternoon. I swear, they could talk about the history of the spoon and I would find it interesting... There must be subliminal messages afoot here; there is no other explanation for the history of the ballpoint pen to be that engrossing.
The weekend was just the finale to my lackluster New Year's extravaganza. I spent that particular evening with a group of semi-close friends and/or acquaintances. None of whom consumed any libations or became inebriated as to provide entertainment, and I lost three straight games of pool (billiards for you more distinguished gentlemen.) For the life of me, I can't figure out all of the angles involved, and upon the common occurrence of finding myself with no straight forward shot, I just strike swiftly and indiscriminately and hope for the best. New Year's behind me, and I didn't even have to watch some stupid ball drop. The week was not entirely without merit, we staged a quaint little fireworks display at work (still waiting on that video, Manteca!) and yesterday I played a rather engrossing game of chess with an old friend. Minor pleasantries aside, New Year's just seems rather trite this year. The fact that I haven't departed terra firma in more than three weeks merely exacerbates the problem; I believe, however, that the major source of my mood resides in the fact that I seem to think in terms of fiscal years. That's right folks, it ain't "new year's" until July 1'st!
Jeff C.
Where's the Tylenol?
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