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Wednesday, September 16, 2009
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The Umbladea
 In these troubled times of political and economic turmoil, we find ourselves feeling vulnerable, insecure, and afraid. In this country's past citizen would arm themselves with handguns, rifles, grenades, tanks, rocket launchers and small explosives. Unfortunately, such methods are no longer a fashionable option in our Utopian Society of America©. What then is the responsible, open-minded, and tolerant individual to do?
Introducing the Umbladea™! The safe and responsible option for personal protection. The Umbladea™ hilt features sturdy biodegradable plastic-esque construction, exquisitely wrapped in the finest non-ozone depleting organic pseudo suede. The canopy, though tall dark and mysterious on the outside, is hand painted with butterflies, unicorns, kittens and rainbows on the inside.
As a means of self-defense the Umbladea™ is unparalleled in sheer foreboding. Recent multi trillion dolor government studies headed by the renowned Sean Connery¹ reveal that the appearance of deadly force is 196% more effective than actual, tragic violence. Think of the whales and redwoods!
Manufactured in the finest Cuban design shops the Umbladea™ will doubtless serve you for years to come, warding off everything from the misguided burglar in need of The People's support and counseling, to rabid right-wing nutjobs beyond our benevolent aid. Should the Umbladea™ ever fail you however, merely send the ashes (and any assorted hilt fragments) back to the Umbladea™ labs. In return we will send you, or your nearest living relative, a full refund in 6-8 weeks.
Umbladea™, because the world needs more excuses©!
¹ For the full 4682 page report, simply mail $645 Utopian Society of America dollo":FAj][flkn';';pp.,e
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...I blame the fever. Oh, and the Umbladea (though it isn't called that) is really an item:
http://www.materious.com/projects/umbrellas_detailed.html
and is no where near as whacked-out as Umbladea Labs™ . Though, the article linked above has a disturbed sense of humor (?) of it's own.Labels: comedy, conservative, culture, political, satire, spoof, sword, umbrella
It didn't sneak in like I thought it would
So the House today passed a resolution to admonish Rep. Joe Wilson. Who famously yelled "You Lie!" as President Obama delivered a health care reform address to a joint session of Congress last Wednesday. Also today. . . In an obvious reference to the Ku Klux Klan, Rep. Hank Johnson, D-Ga., says that people will put on "white hoods and ride through the countryside" if emerging racist attitudes, which he says were subtly supported by Rep. Joe Wilson, are not rebuked. *Foxnews ![joe-wilson420-420x0[1]](http://s45.photobucket.com/albums/f89/jmadlock/convoginators/ItdidntsneakinlikeIthoughtitwould_6837/joewilson420420x01_thumb.jpg "joe-wilson420-420x0[1]") So now the official race card has been played. I remember my dealings with it in the mid 1990's. The statement made in my case was "if you let them keep playing that song, then soon they'll be leading you around in chains." The song was the melody to Dixie. It was played as an opening theme to the section in the "American Tradition" show that represented the Civil War. Two antiphonal trumpets played it as the band remained bowed at the waist. As the band came in and began to raise up, the theme changed into Amazing Grace. One of my best arrangements and in my eyes and those of the students, one that clearly represented the travesties of the war and the grace that saved this country at it's conclusion.
I thought I would have a hard time writing this. I always worry (and so do my fellow Convoginators) that I will get myself in trouble with some of the things I put on here. Well, if I'm not mistaken, this is still the United States of America, and one of my rights is Freedom of Speech. So I am exercising that. In this city, the ugly, multi-headed hydra of racism has risen it's head once again. A volunteer deputy, used a racial slur to refer to an altercation that was taking place during the Labor Day weekend. This "word" was announced across the law enforcement radios as the gentleman put on his pants and "accidently" held down the microphone key. Needless to say, this has caused quite the "row" here in the birthplace of Bill Clinton. All this to say, I believe it is in poor judgement that our elected leaders begin to even utter the idea of the KKK or racial impunities inside government buildings. Then again, what do I know? I'm just a stupid tech guy. **UPDATE: Now Jimmy Carter, you know the idiot former president that just will not leave the spotlight, has now weighed in on the debacle. He too, believes that Joe Wilson is a racist.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
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God. . . Please bless America!
Do not watch this video if you have any problems with violence. School Bus Beating. Things are gonna change. I just believe it will be for the worse. . . for a little while.
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
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I'm not wise in the ways of law....
On July 5th we were coming back home from a wonderful visit with in-laws when we had a terrible accident. All I can remember of the whole thing was commenting to Mrs. Phy how much the locals must be enjoying all the rain we just started to see. Anyway, while I was being “worked” on in the hospital ER, a state trooper walked in the room and presented me with a ticket for “careless operation of a vehicle”. Wow, I guess he must have thought that after 46 years with a perfect driving record, I just decided on a mere whim to begin turning ‘donuts’ on the wet highway with the whole family on board. Anyway, after weeks of phone calls to the officials in LA and after getting the assistance from an attorney, the ‘powers that be’ in LA said that since the accident only involved our vehicle and since there was no public property damaged and since I possessed said perfect driving record, the moving violation of “careless operation of a vehicle “would be reduced to a non-moving violation of “improper operation of a vehicle”. I still haven’t figured out how you improperly operate a vehicle with it parked (non moving ) ??? Maybe Jeff C. understands.
Phynerk
Thursday, September 03, 2009
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You can't miss it.....
......we live in the orange house on the hill.
See 'ya real soon.
Phynerk
Honey, It's me......
....I might be a little late tonight. I ran into a little traffic on the Interstate....
Phynerk
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![joe-wilson420-420x0[1]](http://s45.photobucket.com/albums/f89/jmadlock/convoginators/ItdidntsneakinlikeIthoughtitwould_6837/joewilson420420x01.jpg "joe-wilson420-420x0[1]")
