Tuesday, November 27, 2007
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There is a God! And he likes Slurm!
After 5 years of reruns we are blessed with more Futurama!!
The new Futurama DVD, Benders Big Score, was released today. The DVD is an extended length episode featuring the real star of the show, Bender! More DVDs are slated for release in the next year and apparently the plan is to slice these up for a new season on Comedy Central.
Saturday, November 24, 2007
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1500th post... And it has been a while.
So I'm in atlanta currently and i got a bug in butt to go ahead and write something to remember this week by.
It is somewhat long, but for the most part the people that keep up with this, like to read or have nothing else to do.
Sleeping on a dusty floor in an empty apartment in the middle of what I referred to as the Mexican ghetto, I wondered what I had gotten myself into.
The events that led up to this point and events that followed are part of a trip that I am pretty sure I will never forget. My family and I left on Monday afternoon from Hope Arkansas in 3 vehicles, one including a 16 foot moving truck. I had a descent amount of time to think along the way, and I was leading the pack so I could see both my parents behind me. It was funny to see everything I owned moving 70 miles an hour behind my dads white knuckles. I had always thought my furniture looked fast.
We split the trip into two days, and the second day we were traveling was one of the busier travel days of the year, so when we finally arrived into the outskirts of Atlanta we got a very quick eye opener of what I was going to be driving in from day to day. The highways in Atlanta at the smallest are six lanes, and can sometimes be up to eight, and with us having a convoy of three this was proving to be overwhelming. I am unsure of where I had previously set my “whelm” level for it to be “overed” but I was sure that I was somewhat nervous.
I have always been bad…eh… terrible with directions, so for my birthday my parents bought me a GPS, and over the last month I had been using it around Arkansas as I visited friends for the last time before leaving, and I hadn’t made a single wrong turn. When we got to Atlanta though I thought it was going to catch fire trying to draw all of the roads. I have the voice in it set to this British woman (who, for all I can tell, is totally into me) and she was spouting off various things for me to do , “Keep left”, “Turn Right”, “Make U-turn when possible”, “and my least favorite “Recalculating”. When it says recalculating it is basically saying “You retard, I told which way to go but you didn’t, now I have to find an alternate route”. Over the course of this trip I think I heard recalculating like 20 times and each time my dad would cry a single tear of blood. I guess what I am getting to is, I am so terrible with directions, and Atlanta for a new comer can be so confusing that even Garmin does no good.
We finally got to the exit. Buford St.
The first thing I noticed in my new neighborhood was that not a single sign was written in English. My choices were Korean, Vietnamese, Spanish, and another one that looks a lot like the Wingdings Font on Microsoft Word. I assumed that my apartment would be further down the street, keeping me safe and secure in the arms of unfamiliar but still white, English speaking people. “Recalculating” I heard, I had missed my turn, which meant my apartamento was in the thick of Mexireanamesedings.
We got to the complex and it turned out to be really peaceful and serene, with trees everywhere, which was surprising, so we went into to do all the leasing stuff. Oh, and a note to anyone moving away, you have to do all this stuff ahead of time, I spent the week before I left faxing all sorts of things, and mailing money orders, otherwise I would have been out of luck. So we went inside and a lady named Yaritza who I had been speaking with through the duration of the two week process helped us, she used the term “Most Definitely” almost as much I use the word “the”.
“So is my apartment ready?” “Oh, Most Definitely Mr. Johnson” “Cool. Well if were are done signing things, then we need to start moving in” “Oh, Most Definitely Mr. Johnson, we just need to do a walk through first….” She hesitates for a minute, with her face perplexed, and I am only assuming she is wondering if she met her quota, “Most Definitely” she blurts.’
When we get to the apartment it looked like they had done paint time trials inside because there was paint everywhere, on the carpet, the wood floors, the sink, the tub, the windows, and to top it off, it wasn’t dry.
“I thought it was ready” “Oh Most Definitely it will be tomorrow” “But you said it was ready now” “It Most Definitely is. Tomorrow”
At which time my dad again cried another single tear of blood.
The place seemed far from ready and I was pretty bummed, I had been comforted by the soothing sounds of “Most Definitely” instead of the realistic abrasion of truth. We asked if we could stay there anyways for the night, that we would sleep on the floor to avoid paying for another hotel room.
Which leads me to sleeping on a hard dusty floor in the middle of the Mexican ghetto wondering what I had gotten myself into, and I began to ponder the past events getting me here. I had spent the last few months desperately searching for work, after getting turned down for multiple production jobs I had run out of places to apply, so I started applying for cell phone sales positions and I applied to a bunch. Each day I would check my email and find either nothing at all or a letter saying I wasn’t needed. I was getting worried… I was filled with doubt.
I remember a drastic turning point in my search for work, I bought a book called When God Writes Your Life Story, and the book stunk for the most part, but it brought up a point that I already knew however I had forgotten to apply. My time with the Lord each day could be summed up with cries like “what am I supposed to do” “are you listening” “what do you want me to do” “please open a door”, and at first glance this doesn’t seem all bad. But in Matthew 6:29-31 Jesus is talking to the crowds about worry, and he said (loosely) If you make me and my kingdom your primary concern then you have nothing to worry about, that he would give us all we need from day to day. Paul writes in Philippians about worry as well and he ends by saying that if live for Christ and his kingdom that we will have a peace that our minds can’t even comprehend.
So I made a change, and I realize this all seems so obvious, but its easy to get lost in the fog of routine in our daily walk. I changed my emphasis from seeking help finding work, to drawing nearer and nearer to Him. That was in September I think, and since then I no longer worried, or at least not as much, and my quiet time became more vibrant, and in the long run the Lord provided me with a job that couldn’t be any more perfect.
As I laid on the floor of my filthy apartment, unable to get comfortable, I couldn’t help but smile, knowing beyond doubt that I was where I was supposed to be.
This was on Tuesday night and a lot has transpired since then, my apartamento turned out really cool, and traffic as slowed abit. Currently it is Saturday morning and I am sitting on my couch, which is a story in itself as to how we managed to fit it in my apartment, missing my parents, my brother, and my friends. The moral to me of this whole thing is two thing: God wants us to be our chief focus, that everything else is “extra”, and secondly is that our comfort zone is not what God is shooting for, he wants us where he wants us, and in the beginning it may cause tears and loneliness, but in the end it will be very clear the reason we were there. And also a smaller third moral is that my parents are pretty much as good as it gets.
This isn’t all that happened on this trip, but in my mind it is the part that sticks out most vividly.
Friday, November 16, 2007
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I remember the days...
I know I have been blogging a ton of videos lately, but this one brings back the memories. Back in the early 80's, we had to make our own rollerblades out of Old Pony tennis shoes and TV cart casters... We had to skate uphill both ways...
Came across this on someone's myspace page. I got a laugh out of it so thought I would share it with you guys. hah. :)
Old Testament Lessons - Why can't I own a Canadian?
Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance.
The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by an East Coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:
Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:
When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15 :19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?
Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
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Windows Live Writer 2008
Look what is out of beta! I have been using Live Writer (beta) to post to this blog for some time now. I have to tell you, it is by far the best blog app I have found, and I have been blogging for some time now. If you want to pick it up, you need to go here and also if you need a little help with the install, download this PDF I created. Also, email me, and I will you the information to use photobucket to upload your pictures to the convoginators account.
I hope to hear from you soon!! This app will make it so much easier to blog...you know blog...what we all used to do more of!!
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
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....and If I am elected...
Democrats 2006 - "Just give us Congress and we'll end the war." Democrats 2007 - "No, we can't promise to end the war before 2013." Democrats 2008 - "This is Bush's fault, but we won't raise taxes." Democrats 2009 - "We must raise taxes."
Thursday, November 01, 2007
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Now back to the politics
OK...if you didn't hear it, that was the bell that begins the political season. I know I have blogged before that it was time to start, but NOW it is time to start. I feel that we should get in and throw few blows before the candidates beat the crap out of each other and there is nothing left for us.
I don't know if you are watching the debates, you should, they are funnier than "How I met your mother." The democraps are the best. They are aren't sure who they are fighting, who they are wooing or what their platform actually is. The far left is just banging the gates with the tails of their dolphins, whilst the moderates are giggling about the flying saucers. Luckily, the Republicans are trying to get the important topics in the minds of the voters and attempt at sorting our their candidates for the presidency.
I have to say, Mike Huckabee has come to play. I am very impressed with his ability so far to show a clear understanding of the task at hand. He has made his mark in the debates and on the talk shows. I think that his lack of foreign policy background as labeled by the media is unfair. Like Hillary has any foreign policy background. What has she done for us lately?? She had ample opportunity as both the first lady and a senator to make some heavy hit. She hasn't! Mike Huckabee on the other hand has made his mark as the governor of Arkansas. I agree that maybe this isn't his time yet, but come on, he has made a bigger mark than that fool Al Gore. Maybe Mike will get the Nobel in the next four years and step in during the next race and get a little hard conservatism back in the White House and the country!
A seemingly ideal fit to be the 2008 vice-presidential candidate on the Republican ticket, the former Arkansas governor is a Baptist minister who fronts his own rock band and is almost universally liked. Poor fundraising and a very limited foreign policy background probably means the Republican nomination is beyond his reach.
A deeply religious social conservative, he achieved notoriety by losing 110lbs (nearly eight stone) and becoming a vocal proponent of healthy living. Holds classic conservative positions on abortion, gay marriage and gun ownership that would help boost the conservative credentials of a nominee like Rudy Giuliani. Arkansas background would also be ideal for hand-to-hand political combat with Hillary Clinton.
Many of you know that I like to laugh. In fact, that's what I spend most of my day in search of...a laugh. Yes, some of you would say that's impossible, I know he is always in search of food... that makes me laugh. I pride myself in the fact that I can find comedy (jocularity) in everything. Many a summer day has been spent building cardboard box walls to run through or having a good desk chair race. I get extremely excited when I find a piece of technology that illicit the silly giggles of an idiot and his toy. You may remember the "cat launcher" flash game.
So, I was in the E.A.S.T. lab just the other day and keeping true to its purpose, began playing with one of the souped up Macs and the program PhotoBooth. As you can tell by the photo to the left, I was having a great time. I must say, having been away from the Mac environment for some time, it is rather fun to play with them again. I found myself looking for the text program so that I could make that cool mac speech say naughty bits with inventive spelling and the stupid "voices" that they install. Unfortunately, this Mac had the newest OS X on it...I believe it is Leopard or maybe Meerkat ... Anyway, I couldn't find a freakin' thing on that piece of junk. What's the deal?? I think it may be time for Apple to take a return look at OS 9 and the beauty of simplicity. Just the other day Lloyd and I were talking about his mac and his drill software. He is still using drill software from 1994. I think he gets a kick out of the way OS 9 boots up in OS X. There is always Vista...the little OS that wants to be a fruit!
Maybe I wrote this dribble just so I could post these pictures. Maybe I wrote this so there would be a post on the site. Maybe I need to drive up to Fayettsmell and kick somebody's donkey in the eye because they have time to hit the tag board and leave a smart mule comment, but not blog. What has happened to us? Have we become so busy and important that we don't need the stupidity that has become the convoginators? Are the stories of chocolate milk and liberal bashing gone forever? What happened to the Thanksgiving party? We have missed Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kappur...ramadan (a dingo) is a no go, but what about Hajj? HAHAHAHA... I made myself laugh...I wouldn't mind a trip to mecca... I need to throw some stones at a few demons. Wait, am I getting my holidays mixed up? Wasn't hajj the life partner of Johnny Quest? Oh, after further Internet searching I have found that his name was Hadji and he was NOT a pirate but the adopted brother of Johnny Quest. OK, I digress, what are we doing and where are we going? I need answers. They need to fit into my schedule, but I still need them. Please don't make me upload anymore silly photos!!
