This week has been one of complete and utter disgust. Matthew and I have both accomplished some great things this week. Even in those triumphs though, I find myself completely disappointed in myself. I have had a whirl of a time with the high school, the new grade book program and my personal life. In the midst of all this, I noticed that everyone, including myself, is on the constant search for someone or something to blame. Isn't that terrible. I mean come on, the politicians do it, so I guess we shouldn't be so embarrassed that we conform to the norm. So upon the realization that I was deep into my 2nd trimester of this pregnancy of blame, I decided I would make a change. I know that when humans decide to give up a vice, on many occasions a new one takes it's place. So, as the other lemmings of life do, I picked up a nasty little habit. That habit is one of the smart mouth. Yes, many of you know that I have had that attached to me like an ominous tumor for most of my life. Unfortunately, much like Kuato from Arnold Schwarzenegger's Total Recall, my tumor has grown in a fully functional beast. I find myself lashing out at anyone. Saying things that I would not normally ever say, or at least immediately apologizing for saying anything hurtful and begging for forgiveness. This time, I said something mean to someone who definitely deserved it, then had it thrown back into my face. Isn't it interesting when you get to a point in your life where you wield this power. This power to truly hurt people. You know, a hurt that hurts them and many of their closest relations. I am in that position. One where I so want to make a grievous wrong a right, but in doing that, will severely hurt many people. Then again, you know me. I can't do it. I cannot call it like it is. The sudden smell of sadness, hurt feelings or tears always makes me falter. In that brief feeling of doubt, I always crumble...now days, I get that feeling way before I even get to the smart comment. And so the idiots, the old and the tired continue running this train at full speed towards the bridge...and the bridge is out!
OK...I'm done...there it is. I feel better getting that off my chest. Don't vote for Hillary!
