I agree with phynerk...Gore could be right! I can also fly...like the dude on Hero. That's a whole other post though. I have been thinking about what we can do to stop this rampant temperature increase. I submit my list.
1.) Only exhale when needed.
2.) No more cooking. Everything must be eaten raw.
3.) Only "pass gas" in an extreme emergency.
4.) Do not say the word "hell," that actually creates excess heat.
a.) Also refrain from you any versions of the word,
ie: hello, shell, helicopter (that sounds like hell)you get the idea.
5.) All foods with references to hot will be banned and those eating said food will be shot on sight. Items such as HOT dogs, HOT Apple Cider, HOT Pizza, HOT Wings, HOT Buttered Popcorn, etc. will now be on the Al Gore World Heat Police Top Ten Offensive Heat Related Edible Items list.This list was comprised of foods with the word HOT (automatically releasing a burst of 360 degree heat) and high caloric properties. The process was actually stumbled upon by the great Al Gore (Noble Peace prize nominee) while he was inventing the internet and simultaneously improving on the glazing technique used in Frosted Flakes. Al's understanding of Caloric heat measurement and it's implications on global climate moved him to write his first treatise on climate changed entitled "Jojo Starbuck and His Magic Ukele." Unfortunately, the scientific community would not "warm" to this theory until 2006 when Al turned his visionary piece into a major motion picture and renamed it "An Inconvenient Truth." Which had been the title of an earlier paper Gore had written concerning the Y2K bug and the devastation that it created. AND had also been the working title for the movie "The Crying Game." I digress...
6.) DO NOT stir chocolate milk any faster than 2 RPM. The normal stirring of chocolate milk creates temperature in excess of 300,000 joules.
...and SCENE!
manteca
