Gallery of Nuts
RSS Feed


Web Counter
people who wish they were us

      ARCHIVES

August 2003

September 2003

October 2003

November 2003

December 2003

January 2004

February 2004

March 2004

April 2004

May 2004

June 2004

July 2004

August 2004

September 2004

October 2004

November 2004

December 2004

January 2005

February 2005

March 2005

April 2005

May 2005

June 2005

July 2005

August 2005

September 2005

October 2005

November 2005

December 2005

January 2006

February 2006

March 2006

April 2006

May 2006

June 2006

July 2006

August 2006

September 2006

October 2006

November 2006

December 2006

January 2007

February 2007

March 2007

April 2007

May 2007

June 2007

July 2007

August 2007

September 2007

October 2007

November 2007

December 2007

January 2008

February 2008

March 2008

April 2008

May 2008

June 2008

July 2008

August 2008

September 2008

October 2008

November 2008

December 2008

January 2009

February 2009

March 2009

April 2009

May 2009

June 2009

July 2009

August 2009

September 2009

October 2009

November 2009

December 2009

January 2010

October 2010

January 2022

Saturday, August 26, 2006
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
No Sweat

I must admit I really enjoy having my two sons over. I guess the only downside to our visits is the fact that they begin to talk about computers, bits and bytes; not to mention the long trip down the www.Interstate conversing about all the websites that only those of such tender age are even aware of. Since I want to keep the names of these two young men secret to the millions of folk that may be possibly reading this post, I'll be extremely careful. Anyway, Matthew and eRIc were carrying on as they always do on their last voyage here and then the conversation turned to a subject that really caught my attention. They began to discuss the need for an extremely effective underarm deodorant ( a subject I'm sure everyone talks about at some time or other ). Having the creative mind I have and the need for adventure I set out to 'invent' such a substance for my immediate family's use if not for humanity as a whole. My quest started with a vivid memory of a life-changing chemistry experiment I had when I was in eleventh grade. To my knowledge I was the first person to have successfully created ( without the need of an electron accelerator ) a mixture of 'ScreezeumDiethelamate 6'. What I distinctly remembered was that there was a distinct byproduct of this chemical that we found when we were all able to safely return back to the lab the next day ( many people know it today as Super Glue). This byproduct has become the very building block by which my new underarm deodorant is constructed. The chemical name is far to complex and risky to divulge before the patent rights come back to me, but I will refer to it by it's commercial title; NO SWEAT ! With one application you are guaranteed absolute freedom from any unwanted under arm perspiration whatsoever! Just imagine the freedom from worry you will have when you have that blind date with the unregistered Eharmony.com member you met through your neighbor's cousin's best friend, Bubba ! No sir, sweat will not even be remotely part of your mental state. You will be free to engage in deep, meaningful discussions about all the great aspects of living in Hope, Arkansas. A limited supply of NO SWEAT ! is available due to the repetitive explosions in the back of my shop during each batch ( I'm working out all the bugs on this with the Crestwood Sniper's assistance).

Manufacturers warning: Keep this product away from children, pets, wildlife, all forms of vegetation, fish, people, stainless steel, all matter containing hydrogen or strontium 9, and possibly glass. If underarm hair does not return after the first application of NO SWEAT !, no additional charge will be levied to consumer for this unplanned benefit to personal hygiene. NO SWEAT ! MUST be allowed to completely dry after applying since some clothing removal to the underarm area may require minor surgery.


Phynerk


 
National Dairy Council -- Professional Convoginators -- The Good Word about Convoginatin' -- Chocolate Milk Myths
The Godfather Convoginator -- News for the Convoginator
CONVOGINATOR'S STORE