I must admit I really enjoy having my two sons over. I guess the only downside to our visits is the fact that they begin to talk about computers, bits and bytes; not to mention the long trip down the www.Interstate conversing about all the websites that only those of such tender age are even aware of. Since I want to keep the names of these two young men secret to the millions of folk that may be possibly reading this post, I'll be extremely careful. Anyway, Matthew and eRIc were carrying on as they always do on their last voyage here and then the conversation turned to a subject that really caught my attention. They began to discuss the need for an extremely effective underarm deodorant ( a subject I'm sure everyone talks about at some time or other ). Having the creative mind I have and the need for adventure I set out to 'invent' such a substance for my immediate family's use if not for humanity as a whole. My quest started with a vivid memory of a life-changing chemistry experiment I had when I was in eleventh grade. To my knowledge I was the first person to have successfully created ( without the need of an electron accelerator ) a mixture of 'ScreezeumDiethelamate 6'. What I distinctly remembered was that there was a distinct byproduct of this chemical that we found when we were all able to safely return back to the lab the next day ( many people know it today as Super Glue). This byproduct has become the very building block by which my new underarm deodorant is constructed. The chemical name is far to complex and risky to divulge before the patent rights come back to me, but I will refer to it by it's commercial title; NO SWEAT ! With one application you are guaranteed absolute freedom from any unwanted under arm perspiration whatsoever! Just imagine the freedom from worry you will have when you have that blind date with the unregistered Eharmony.com member you met through your neighbor's cousin's best friend, Bubba ! No sir, sweat will not even be remotely part of your mental state. You will be free to engage in deep, meaningful discussions about all the great aspects of living in Hope, Arkansas. A limited supply of NO SWEAT ! is available due to the repetitive explosions in the back of my shop during each batch ( I'm working out all the bugs on this with the Crestwood Sniper's assistance).
Manufacturers warning: Keep this product away from children, pets, wildlife, all forms of vegetation, fish, people, stainless steel, all matter containing hydrogen or strontium 9, and possibly glass. If underarm hair does not return after the first application of NO SWEAT !, no additional charge will be levied to consumer for this unplanned benefit to personal hygiene. NO SWEAT ! MUST be allowed to completely dry after applying since some clothing removal to the underarm area may require minor surgery.
Phynerk
