Something happened to me a few weeks ago that was so embarrassing that it's taken this long before I felt I was able to 'let it out' to my Convoginator family. Seems a few weeks ago I had to go to Dallas with three other guys to a software class. On the first day at the lunch break we all bolted out to get some grub. You'll just have to believe me on this but the particular place in town we were at had no places whatsoever where a person could eat. After driving for a long time and fearing we would not have enough time to eat and make it back on time….we saw "It" . It was a small café. It looked like the type you could get a good 'blue plate special' from. So we went in. That's when we all realized we had made a big mistake. First, we noticed we were the ONLY men in there except for one. Second, we found out the name of the place was "Mary's Tea Room." Third, the other man I mentioned was our waiter whose name was Duane. I knew something was really wrong when Duane pranced up to our table and asked us "boys" if we were hungry. The problems only got worse as we found the only things on the menu were different varieties of quiches. That's not food….it's gay! Anyway, we all ordered soup and sandwiches from Duane and hoped this would not take much longer as the stares from all those ladies were beginning to wear on us. Now let me tell you just a little about 'ole Duane. Had you dressed him in purple and white he would have become a living pansy. My thoughts went out to Duane though. What was it that had turned him into a wo-man ? He could have been a manly man as a coach at one time or maybe a band teacher or what about a computer tech. Heck, he could have even been a really macho guy as an infantryman from Bravo company, but no, here Duane was prancing around in "Mary's Tea Room". I can only guess there was a day Duane needed work. There was an ad " Help wanted Waiter needed". He took the job and instantly became immersed in girl-i-ness all day. Day in, day out being exposed to giggles, hairspray, makeup, Oh Gawd's, and gossip slowly but surely took it's toll. It dawned on me as I began to inhale my soup and sandwich that Duane was the victim of second-hand femininity. What was worse I realized that every minute I stayed there I also was being effected by this cancer. I had to do something and do it quickly. I swallowed the remainder of my sandwich whole, chugged the rest of the soup, paid my bill and ran for the car waiting for my companions. Hoping it was not too late for all of us. I think I made it out Ok there doesn't seem to have been any residual effect upon me by the second-hand femininity. I'm just glad it's all behind me. Well, I'm going to stop at CATO on the way home tonight. I saw a pair of shoes to die for Oh Gawd !
Tootles !
Phynerk
