After my last invention of InstaGrat and the tremendous wealth and prestige it has brought my way, I thought it only fitting to put my mind to another device that would help mankind ( not to mention my wallet ). I have done so and now I offer you Surgi-Shave. The ONLY disposable razor with six surgically sharp blades. That's right - six blades. The first will take the most stubborn facial stubble down to a more manageable height. The second blade reduces the remaining hair to mere peach fuzz while the third blade removes all remaining hair to the skin level. The fourth blade actually reaches below the skin and removes any possible detectable hair to either sight or touch. Now the magic of Surgi-Shave really begins with the fifth blade which removes 0.5mm of the actual facial epidermis ! Leaving only the sixth blade which acts as a facial squeegee. This blade removes the hair follicles, dead skin, skin tissue, and blood that the other blades so aptly displaced.
In actual laboratory experiments it has been found that with repeated use Surgi-Shave has demonstrated the ability to eliminate the need for any future shaving as all hair follicles are eventually removed. Of course some facial reconstruction is required along with plastic surgery, but so what…you've got the smoothest shave on the planet !
So don't delay buy Surgi-Shave today and you will be on your way to a shave-free life.
Disclaimer(s): Some side effects of Surgi-Shave are dramatic loss of blood, spotty facial numbness, blood poisoning, severe facial disfigurement, and in rare cases, initial stages of leprosy.
Phynerk
