I don't know what to say... I nearly choked on my Pepsi I was laughing so hard...
Guest Post
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Oh, the Horror!
I'm your genuine grade-A 100% thrill seeker. There's nothing like a good adrenaline rush, and I'm all about some adventure. Thus, there aren't many things that scare me. I've never been afraid of insects, not even spiders. I doubt that I could find a roller coaster that would completely satisfy my need for a thrill. Flying is awesome, and sitting outside during thunderstorms is great entertainment. Were someone to offer me the chance to bungee jump, I wouldn't be surprised if I actually did it (provided I trusted the person offering). I've always wanted to see a tornado somewhere other than on a TV or movie screen. I can handle any horror film, and nightmares are great because they're like horror movies in my head. Taunting big, mean dogs has become one of my favorite pastimes, and it's always been a dream of mine to stumble upon a bear or other animal of the ferocious persuasion in the woods. If the boogieman were to crawl out from under my bed, I would probably have a nice, long chat with him over tea. In my mind, frightening things are few. (I won't mention snakes because that would destroy the whole idea here.) However, there is one thing that really freaks me out: the idea of John Kerry winning the presidential election. The thought of someone that ugly residing in the White House is enough to make anyone soil their undies. I don't want that man to show his face in public any more than he already does. Any man who's gonna get money from his wife's unearned fortune simply cannot be trusted. While riding around town with the dolphin-rider dolphin John F'ing Kerry, I noticed that he didn't say a word, and I can't help but think that if I were riding around with the real John I voted for the war before I voted against it Kerry, that he would be speechless and dumbfounded as well. If Kerry were president, we'd end up with gay couples in all the elementary school text books, too much money going to save the owls, and vegetarian meal plan alternatives at every conference, retreat, and business dinner in the country. We simply can't allow this horror story to come true. A vote for Bush is a vote for the guy who'll screw up the country the least. Vote for meat!
seashell
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I need to take you flying again and show you what a stall-spin looks like...
Jeff C.
