My Olympic Moment

The Olympics fall into the same categoryas Wimbledon, the Masters and the Super bowl. I'm not really interested, but I feel compelled to watch so that I don't seem as much a gimp around the maintenance guys as I do the other 90% of the time. So, Ive been watching my fair share of Super-G, Pairs Skating, luge, Biathlon, short track (not to be confused with slick track...that one is for Jim L.) and my personal favorite Ice Dancing. I've come to notice that the pansy athletes from the USA are as lazy and inconsistentas the rest of us. They are dropping like flies at these games. Not only is the US getting busted, we are getting busted by the Russians, Chinese, Koreans and the GERMANS! Could it be the training regimen?

· 9:30 a.m. - Wake up slowly to soothing music from corporate sponsored ipod with Bose sound dock.
· 9:50 a.m. - Get out of bed.
· 10:00 a.m. - Have teeth brushed, body washed, massage and pedicure by personal Olympic Valet
· 11:00 a.m. - Breakfast with teammates
· 12:00 p.m. - Morning workout
· 12:30 p.m. - Drive to Lunch
   CORPORATE SUPPLIED CAR SCHEDULE
      - Monday - Red Hummer
      - Tuesday - Blue Land Rover
      - Wednesday - White Escalade
      - Thursday - Yellow Corvette
      - Friday - Mercedes Surprise
· 2:00 p.m. - Practice
   Practice CANCELLED - TO MUCH SNOW AND TOO COLD
· 3:00 p.m. - Shoot Commercial for Nike
· 5:00 p.m. - Dinner
· 7:00 p.m. - Warm Down Workout
· 7:15 p.m. - Clubbing
· 2:00 a.m. - Lights out

Maybe I am being too hard on these kids. I mean it must be hard being treated like a king/queen 24/7. Look at Apollo Ohno, he lived in the dorms and trained all the time. So, his fall and subsequent bronze medal are...justified? I bet if we beat them like the Chinese athletes and made sure they put in their 16 hours a day at the sweat shops they would do better. Because in China, you win a gold medal, thats an extra bowl of rice per week and they dont kill your family.

OK, Im being too harsh. These are our heroes, future leaders, future Skating with Celebrities participants. One more week of Winter Olympics! If you need me, Ill be sitting in front of the TV...doping!


manteca